Jump to content

my boyfriend is really hairy


Recommended Posts

So my boyfriend is great. I have no complaints about anything...except how hairy he is. When he takes off his shirt, it looks like he is wearing a really thick wool sweater. His entire upper body is covered in very thick, long, dark hair. He looks like a wolf man. As superficial as this sounds, I am *really* turned off by the hair. I don't want to cuddle with him if his shirt isn't on. If the lights are on, I want him to keep his shirt on. I feel bad, but he is so incredibly hairy.

 

So I'm curious...should I mention it to him? Should I ask him to trim or (what I'd really prefer) go get it all waxed? Is there any advice for how to deal with this...erm...hairy situation? :confused:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Isn't it always the way? People who like men with hair end up with hairless ones and vice versa. I'm afraid I can't help you - I find that hair on a man's body really sets off a primal response in me; I find it extremely sexy. It's so....male :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

You need to get used to it.. it isn't like your talking about his pubic hair that he can trim..

 

If he trims all his chest hair it won't feel soft anymore and will be stiff

Waxing that amount of hair is asking way too much.

 

The only thing that applys here is Laser removal.. Expensive and time consumming it would take 6 months to remove all his hair and cost thousands of dollars.

Link to post
Share on other sites
basscatcher
So my boyfriend is great. I have no complaints about anything...except how hairy he is. When he takes off his shirt, it looks like he is wearing a really thick wool sweater. His entire upper body is covered in very thick, long, dark hair. He looks like a wolf man. As superficial as this sounds, I am *really* turned off by the hair. I don't want to cuddle with him if his shirt isn't on. If the lights are on, I want him to keep his shirt on. I feel bad, but he is so incredibly hairy.

 

So I'm curious...should I mention it to him? Should I ask him to trim or (what I'd really prefer) go get it all waxed? Is there any advice for how to deal with this...erm...hairy situation? :confused:

 

I use to think it was gross also. I use to think I would never want to be with a hairy man.

But

Once I fell in love with one it didn't matter anymore. He kept me warm and I learned to enjoy carressing his body (hairy). It was all in my mind.. What difference is the feeling really other then texture compared to petting a dog or a cat. I am a animal lover so it wasnt a hard transition. It was all mental that I had programed myself into thinking "ewe gross..".

 

The only thing I didn't learn to love and like is the fact that he shed all over the bathroom after showering. (Suppose from toweling off..)

 

You need to change the frame of your mind.. The hairy he is the cuddlier he will be and he can keep you warm too..

 

Think of this:

If he shaves it off and it grows back he will be pricky and stubbly! Yuck..

If he waxes it the same thing.. Yuck..

Also, if you two stay together and get married you will also be apart of the finances it costs to pay for the wax job or shaving. Let alone you maybe the one to do it..

 

Learn to love him hairy and all. It's really not bad.. Its kinda nice..

 

My guy was soft. I enjoyed carressing his body because the softness of his (fur) felt very relaxing under my fingers and the palm of my hand..

 

You need to reprogram you thinking.. You've been influenced by outside comments from other people.. Most men are hairy.. Just different amouts...

Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to find really hairy bodies gross too....until I fell for this one guy.

 

At first, his naked body was kind of a turn off. Initially, it was shocking to see so much hair! He was so hairy, when he'd leave my bed there was like a 'hair ring' left behind!

 

But I got used to it and when I got used to it, it started to become a turn on. Sometimes the thing that initially disgusts you actually starts to become REALLY sexy.

 

Give him a chance. Getting rid of all the hair is a painful process for him, and also makes him feel as if he's not 100% accepted by you.

 

Imagine if he told you, "Your small boobs are a turn off. Get implants"

 

I think the trick is to learn to adjust your thinking.

 

Could be fun!

Link to post
Share on other sites

my man is extreamly hairy as well...it deffinatly took some getting used to. The thing is...that I didn't tell him I loved it when I first saw it...he knew it was kinda wierd for me. This didn't hurt his feelings...because he wasn't attatched to his body hair. I don't think I know someone who is really attatched to their body hair come to think of it...

 

anyways...he suggested getting it waxed a couple times and I kept on saying nnoo don't do that for me. Then when we were in the shower (isn't that fun) he was like...just shave it...meaning the back hair...which, in terms of grossness...back hair it pretty high up there. So..I did..and it didn't grow back that stubbly...its still in the growing stages kinda...

 

All i'm saying is...he might not care if you want it gone....he probably hasn't done it himself because he doesn't care either way.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sal Paradise

If I was hairy and my gf told me it turned her off and that she wanted me to wax or shave it. I'd tell her to either accept me for me or find someone else.

Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup
So my boyfriend is great. I have no complaints about anything...except how hairy he is. When he takes off his shirt, it looks like he is wearing a really thick wool sweater. His entire upper body is covered in very thick, long, dark hair. He looks like a wolf man. As superficial as this sounds, I am *really* turned off by the hair. I don't want to cuddle with him if his shirt isn't on. If the lights are on, I want him to keep his shirt on. I feel bad, but he is so incredibly hairy.

 

So I'm curious...should I mention it to him? Should I ask him to trim or (what I'd really prefer) go get it all waxed? Is there any advice for how to deal with this...erm...hairy situation? :confused:

 

How long have you two been seeing eachother? This makes a huge difference in replies.

 

Obviously he MUST know how you feel, even if you haven't told him, he has to get the feeling like he's turning you off.

 

Can I ask, why you started going out with him in the first place if the hairy thing was such an issue?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with you. Back in the 40s and 50s a common phrase for fathers to tell young sons was that doing, eating or drinking certain things would "put hair on your chest." It was thought of as manly. Now the fashion world selects male models who are hairless young boys and that's become the "beauty" standard.

 

Like Sal, love all of me or none of me. Thankfully, my wife likes the added cuddle and warmth factor.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Now the fashion world selects male models who are hairless young boys and that's become the "beauty" standard.
And what is truly weird about this is that the fashion guru's that subscribe to this "concept" of "beauty" are gay.

 

So we have gay men telling us that men should be hairless and boy like as well that women should have tiny little butts like little boys. :sick:

Link to post
Share on other sites
justagirliegirl

I don't think we are talking about average chest hair but so hairy like a werewolf. If his chest is tha hairy, he should get it waxed.

 

What if your gf had a super hairy bottom and she didn't want to shave or wax it, would that be ok?

Link to post
Share on other sites

We are what we are and the way nature made us? Why should anyone feel ashamed of or insecure about that?

 

When I took the physical agilities test for a police academy I eventually attended, part of it was a stress test which required an EKG while performing it. They shaved two portions of my chest to attach the leads. The itching as the hair grew back just about drove me crazy(er).

 

No way would I wax or shave my chest, ever!

Link to post
Share on other sites
I don't think we are talking about average chest hair but so hairy like a werewolf. If his chest is tha hairy, he should get it waxed.What if your gf had a super hairy bottom and she didn't want to shave or wax it, would that be ok?

 

Um. Not the same thing. Hair on a man is not abnormal; it's a sign that he's passed puberty. I seriously doubt that there are large numbers of women with very hairy butts LOL. BTW, there are men with hair fetishes who don't like women to shave anything, you know.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I'd just kind of like to point out that every time I expect to see him, I shave my legs, my underarms, my bikini area, and I trim my pubic hair. I have met almost no men who like their women with all of their natural hair, and I know more than enough guys who would NOT date a girl on the basis of her having leg hair, under arm hair, or really thick (albeit ALL NATURAL) pubic hair. I am not one of those girls who is totally against ANY hair on the chest or whatever. But it is like he's got a coat of fur on his upper body. So I don't think I'm being completely awful for wanting him to do something about it.

 

And when you wax, the hair grows back thinner, not thicker and stubbly. There is no stubble because it is pulled from the root. And it can take two or three weeks for it to grow back. And YES, it's uncomfortable, but I have paid to go get my legs and my bikini area done, and if I can have someone wax my crotch, I don't think I'm asking too much for him to at least have his back done.

 

I'm just wondering if there's a tactful way to approach the subject or if there's an appropriate time period after you're dating when you can ask that sort of thing.

 

And clearly there are a LOT of reasons why I really like him and the hair isn't a total dealbreaker. I just don't find it very attractive, and it's a fairly easy thing to take care of, and I can say that because as a girl, I have spent a lot of time and money getting rid of my own body hair.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'd just kind of like to point out that every time I expect to see him, I shave my legs, my underarms, my bikini area, and I trim my pubic hair.

 

You make a good point here. However this is a bit routine, (i.e. you'd do that for any occasion of importance) Kind of like how he showers and does his hair for you. I'm being Devil's advocate right now, but I do see your point.

 

I think there definitely is a way to approach this topic. But be careful, it may be an issue he's dealt with before, and maybe is a bit insecure and uncomfortable talking about it.

 

I'm not a hairy guy whatsoever, so it's hard for me to imagine handling a conversation like this. (if I were in his shoes) But I feel that approaching it lightly, and with humor might be a way to do it. Maybe instead of asking him to completely shave or wax himself, you could have him trim it (with like a beard trimmer) That'll get the hair down to a shorter length and definitely look a lot less hairy. Just a thought.

 

But I think, if you love him, these things will grow on you. You may find yourself animalisticly attracted to his hairyness. Essentially, it's the epitome of masculinity.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a GF not long ago that asked ( or Told ) me to shave the hair on Mr Happy.. .

 

She handled the convo wrong and began the convo with other lovers of hers that she had before me did not rub her raw and that it was my hair..

We broke up within about a week after that..

She handled it totally wrong and made me feel 2 inches tall with the way she handled it..

 

She even went as far as to say that if I want to have sex with her and she says shave it then I should've just shaved it instead of making a big deal out if it.

 

 

Presentation on a subject this personal is paramount.. Explain to him that you love him anyhow before you give him the talk.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I had a GF not long ago that asked ( or Told ) me to shave the hair on Mr Happy.. .

 

She handled the convo wrong and began the convo with other lovers of hers that she had before me did not rub her raw and that it was my hair..

We broke up within about a week after that..

She handled it totally wrong and made me feel 2 inches tall with the way she handled it..

 

She ACTUALLY spoke of other people's penises and how they compared to yours??! Wow... that's so f***ed up. I mean, yeah, shaving around Mr. Happy is no big deal, I do it daily, but damn. That's so messed up.

I think it was a good move to get the hell out of that relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup
So I don't think I'm being completely awful for wanting him to do something about it.

 

No you aren't, but if he doesn't want to get it waxed, then YOU have to either get over the hair thing, accept it or end the relationship. Decide what is more important. The man who is in your life, or too much hair on his body.

 

HE has not asked you to shave and keep your bikini line done. Most women just DO this because THEY want to, not because a man has asked them to do that.

 

Society has something to do with this, noone wants to see a woman walking on the beach with leg hairs, long enough to braid and underarm hair that blows in the wind. In certain parts of the World, that IS the norm and accepted, but not in North America.

Link to post
Share on other sites
She ACTUALLY spoke of other people's penises and how they compared to yours??!

 

Yep.. She sure did .. she even mentioned that the last guy she was with used to love to f*** even more than we did and it didn't rub her raw.

 

That is why I said that how she brings it up to him makes a difference..

Link to post
Share on other sites
Sal Paradise

You can't compare the fact that you shave your bodyhair to him shaving his. Why? Because I assume you did this before you were with him? You would probably do it if you weren't with him. So when he started dating you he dated you based on how you presented yourself (as we all do). And you dated him knowing he was hairy. If he shaved he would be doing it for you. You're not shaving yourself for him. You do it for yourself. Now if he had been shaving all along and suddenly stopped maybe you'd have a point. But the two are apples and oranges.

 

I'm not saying you can't ask him. I'm just saying if he doesn't want to do it you have no right to hold it against him. If you can't live with it then you should get out of the relationship now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
You can't compare the fact that you shave your bodyhair to him shaving his. Why? Because I assume you did this before you were with him? You would probably do it if you weren't with him. So when he started dating you he dated you based on how you presented yourself (as we all do). And you dated him knowing he was hairy. If he shaved he would be doing it for you. You're not shaving yourself for him. You do it for yourself. Now if he had been shaving all along and suddenly stopped maybe you'd have a point. But the two are apples and oranges.

 

I'm not saying you can't ask him. I'm just saying if he doesn't want to do it you have no right to hold it against him. If you can't live with it then you should get out of the relationship now.

 

Hey maybe I'm not speaking for all women here...but when a woman is single, and shes not expecting dates any time soon, shes not shaving as much as she used to!! For me I keep up with the underarms but when I was single and wasn't expecting being around any guys that would be seeing my legs they weren't gonna get shaved!

 

You can totally compare a woman getting rid of body hair to a man getting rid of body hair. Woman get rid of it because most men find a woman with shaved legs/underarms more attractive than a really hairy woman. So, why is it so horrible to want to ask a guy to try waxing or shaving his hairy wolf-like back?

 

Mine did...he quite liked it...he said he could feel his shirt touch his skin and it was cool...hahaha

 

I agree with AC about it being all about approach....and your perfectly within your rights to ask...just don't push it if he says no

Link to post
Share on other sites
Angelina1433

Just because you shave your legs, armpits, etc., does not mean that he needs to go through the "trouble" of removing his body hair. In our culture, women with body hair is NOT attractive, generally speaking. It's a sort of expected cultural norm to rid of it. However, men with body hair IS accepted.

 

Now, if your boyfriend is like teenwolf (or a grown up version), you could casually ask if he's ever considered a wax. But I wouldn't. Because if he hasn't done it already, that means he's perfectly comfortable with his body hair.

 

My boyfriend is "hairy" and I absolutely love it. To me, it points to how masculine he is - although I probably have only ever up till now - subconsciously thought this way. He does however, wax his back. But this is his choice and he's been doing it since before we met.

 

If you love him, then you've gotta accept all of him - even his permanent sweater.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Citizen Erased
Just because you shave your legs, armpits, etc., does not mean that he needs to go through the "trouble" of removing his body hair. In our culture, women with body hair is NOT attractive, generally speaking. It's a sort of expected cultural norm to rid of it. However, men with body hair IS accepted.

 

I dont accept that. I think that women shave and groom because they want to be accepted by those around them. Women who dont are ridiculed by other FEMALES and also guys and so they do it so they have some peace.

 

I find guys who are covered in hair to be a turn off. A little is alright, but gorillas NO! Many women dont accept their man with body hair because they dislike it, and they get called shallow, but if a guy has a girlfriend who refused to shave then she is dirty and unclean. I dislike double standards. If it is a turn off and he refuses then of course you cannot make him, but the OP has every right to want to stay with her man and find a solution.

 

BTW My man is not hairy and I dislike the generalisation that men with hair are ever so more manly. Thats ridiculous and stupid.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Angelina1433

Wow, my thoughts have never been called "stupid" before; I don't quite know how to feel. I was simply generalizing our cultural norms. I never said that if a woman did not shave that she was "unclean". Come on. I leave my legs unshaved during the winter because they don't show and I don't care. Neither does my boyfriend.

 

Now, it was my OPINION that the more hairer the man, the more masculine.

 

And the original poster can do whatever she wants, I was just stating my opinion, again. And I don't apreciate "rediculous" or "stupid". Thanks.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I find guys who are covered in hair to be a turn off. A little is alright, but gorillas NO

 

So then don't go out with them. If this was a guy saying 'I don't like my women to have dark hair; I think it's gross so all my women must become blondes' you'd flip. Same if a guy said 'a girl without D boobs is no good to me'. The answer in all cases, is if you don't like them, don't go out with them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...