Guest Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 I've been snooping on my bf n I found he's been talking with his ex asking her to take him back n that he still loves her.That was a month into our dating we have been dating for 7 monthes.and he send his other ex flowers for v-day.he tells me he doesnt talk to his exs but he almost talk to them everyday sometimes twice a day.I've caught him in so many lies.I dont know what to do I've been hoping that he'd change but its the same story over and over.I know that my snooping is not right in the first place but I found something that was going on behind my back.I feel guilty about the whole thing .I even told him bout it n we were trying to work things out.But I just couldnt trust him and went back n check his mail he still talks to her she telling him that they will make it and that she loves him n she is so greatful that he is in her life...and he post this on myspace as a testmonial n told me that I was overreacting and she is just his ex but I feel disrespected that he kept contact with her when he know that she still have feelings for him n im not comfortable with him talking to her everyday. I snooped because I was suspecious the first time n I promised I wont do it again but I also found that something was going on behind my back....second time I was wrong because I break my promise n snooped again but again he was still lying to me and talkin to her behind my back. Help please I'm really messed up and hurt and confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinia1510 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Don't be stupid darlin! You shouldnt feel guilty for snooping around, especially when you found out what a cheat he is being! Why shouldn't you look? What is he hiding? Relationships are meant to have no secrets - I dont mind when my boyfriend looks through my mobile and emails (and vise versa) - I dont have anything to hide! He is a liar and a cheat and in my opinion you shoudn't give him another thought! I know its easier said than done but this can only end up in heart ache! Long term relationships/marriages are based on trust - have you got any of that? You can hold on to the relationship and hope it works out - but without trust, it cannot work! Sorry babe! Let us know how you get on x Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 I've been snooping on my bf n I found he's been talking with his ex asking her to take him back n that he still loves her.That was a month into our dating we have been dating for 7 monthes.and he send his other ex flowers for v-day.he tells me he doesnt talk to his exs but he almost talk to them everyday sometimes twice a day.I've caught him in so many lies.I dont know what to do I've been hoping that he'd change but its the same story over and over.I know that my snooping is not right in the first place but I found something that was going on behind my back. Trust comes with time, and is earned bit by bit - you don't just hand out 100% unconditional trust to someone on the basis that you're going out with them. If they're behaving suspiciously then it makes sense to check them out as discreetly as you can. That's what your instincts are for. They're not always completely accurate, but that's not a good enough reason to just ignore them. You got suspicious, you snooped - fair enough, I say - and you were confronted with all the evidence you need to figure out that this guy is not a good bet. Yet you keep giving him more chances to throw back in your face. Why are you doing this to yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 Snooping is always a touchy subject, but you clearly had reason to do so. Especially since you found evidence the first time. He's obviously still interested in his ex, and her him. To be honest the best thing you can do... WALK AWAY. I see only pain and hurt in you staying with this guy. He'd being very disrespectful to you. Link to post Share on other sites
nice guy444 Posted March 16, 2006 Share Posted March 16, 2006 speaking from a guys perspective i think you have every right to be mad and had every right to snoop. I have been cheated on my past gf and it was the most horrible experience of my life and i am still having trouble with it. I knew something messed up was going on and felt that i could fix the problem by talking to her and trying to prevent other crap from happening but it didnt work. If you stick with him all its going to do is make you worry constantly and make you a nervous wreak like i was. Dont feel guilty at all, he was the one who was lying and disloyal from the start, you are just the victim because of someone who is too stupid to realize that he had a good thing right infront of him. If he isnt willing to give up his ex's for you then he isnt worth your time. I used to have to deal with my ex gf talking to her ex bfs and it made me so mad, they would hit on her constantly and she used to claim they were just friends which was a lie looking back on it. Dont make the same mistakes i did, leave the jerk and find someone better and smarter who will be all about you rather than not respecting your feelings Link to post Share on other sites
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