MariX Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 Recently me and my husband found out that our 16-year-old son has been dating a 43-year-old woman and has got engaged to her. We asked our son if this was true, and he said it was. He told us he is talking of getting engaged to her and having children with her as soon as he leaves college. He is doing well academically, and told us when he leaves college he is going to get a job, as university doesn't appeal to him. He also told us that this woman has no children but wants some. In our family there is very little history of age gaps - our 19-year-old daughter is dating a 21-year-old man (the age gap is 3 years, it doesn't worry us!) - how should me and my husband deal with this?? Advice is appreciated - anyone, help us please! Marie in Nottingham, United Kingdom xxx P.S. Advice is needed urgently, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I say let him go for it. There have been larger gaps in age that worked out and besides love crosses all barriers including age, gender, and even species! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t72624/ Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I think I'm having a deja vu. There must be somthing in the drinking water in the UK. Well, I say if he is that serious about this woman there isn't much you can do to stop him. I don't know what the laws are in the UK as for 40+ sleeping with 16 year olds, but he seems hellbent on being with her. If you push him, he'll just run to her. It won't workout and right now he's so caught up in the sex he can't see past that. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I don't know what the laws are in the UK as for 40+ sleeping with 16 year olds.... He's the legal age of consent and I'd say she is somewhat perverted. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 I say let him go for it. There have been larger gaps in age that worked out and besides love crosses all barriers including age, gender, and even species! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t72624/ so funny 933.. what a memory.. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 There is a saying from way, way back: Young man and young woman - The work of God Young woman and older man - The work of man Young man and older woman - The work of the devil Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 This is what - the seventh or tenth time this same sort of story has been posted? Does anyone really believe it's a real situation? Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Yeah, I've seen this exact same topic posted and I'm going to give the exact same answer I did before. A 43- year-old woman who has sex with a minor (i.e. under 18) in this country can be charged with rape. I don't know how it works in the UK, but there's some food for thought. What if your son was a girl dating a 43 year old man? How would you view the situation then? You are the parent and its' up to you to set the rules in your house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MariX Posted January 27, 2006 Author Share Posted January 27, 2006 Yeah, I've seen this exact same topic posted and I'm going to give the exact same answer I did before. A 43- year-old woman who has sex with a minor (i.e. under 18) in this country can be charged with rape. I don't know how it works in the UK, but there's some food for thought. What if your son was a girl dating a 43 year old man? How would you view the situation then? You are the parent and its' up to you to set the rules in your house. We know that, but we've never dealt with age gap relationships before in our family, so practical advice is needed. At the moment we're accepting it, but we're worried about his desire to have children with this woman. What do we do? Marie in Nottingham, England xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 but we're worried about his desire to have children with this woman. Wish him well.. A 16 year old banging a 40 year old is worth bragging about when your young. I see nothing wrong with it Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Ah come on let the bloke shag her fanny! Don't you remember what it was like to be young? Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 We know that, but we've never dealt with age gap relationships before in our family, so practical advice is needed. At the moment we're accepting it, but we're worried about his desire to have children with this woman. What do we do? Marie in Nottingham, England xxx Probably a troll... but I'll bite just in case. Have you tried contacting the woman and talking to her privately about what she wants with your son? You could try involving local authorities, while at 16 he is a legal adult, they may still be able to offer mediation, assistance and advice for your situation. Also perhaps try your local CAB. You'd be surprised what help may be available if you ask. Is there a college counsellor he could talk to also? Perhaps they may be able to assist. Link to post Share on other sites
JayKay Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Tell your boy to pack his things and move in with this woman. Your house, your rules. My brother had a relationship with a 33-year-old when he was 19. Not much my family could do, but my parents did suggest he set up house with her since they were so much 'in love' They even told him, "We'll help you plan the wedding" Well, after a year of co-habitating his 19 year old brain was just about ready to explode! He realized that there's a lot more to a mature relationship than sex. He told me, "You know...I think I'm not quite ready to be a dad with kids and a white picket fence..." Link to post Share on other sites
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