3questions Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 PLEASE READ AND POST!!! Alrite.. my name is Rathana... My soul, it needs lots of motivation and energy, and love and just.. something to uplift the troubles in my mind or just someone to be there to tell me its going to be okay. Someone I can go to.. I am dating this girl that I can say isn't the best, she is not the problem.. it is really my choice for things to be a problem or not. Before her i dated another girl who was always there for me, that open herself and gave her all.. like "true love". Definately. No kidding ethier. And now that I am with someone else it is like different and I have wild thoughts and people in general look at me like im crazy. I couldn't even type right like, it wouldnt make any sense ( u can tell from my other blogs).. it was like I had no personality. But now that I feel a little bit like you guys are family ( because of the school motivation speaker today) I like to pretend everyone is family. Like there is a concept I want to get out to the people and let that concept stick to my mind, i'm telling myself " i want to look at you like a brother and just all collide together to learn and grow in this school.". I mean im sooo funny it's just I can open that side of me because of people just dont get me. The only time it feels great is when I force myself to open up and feel like their family, i mean that is like what i need. Like a motivation or something to give me the confidence INSIDE. that is what my ex gave me but now that I dont have her I am not able to communicate with people. People look at me like im some guy who drinks and .. doesn't do his work in class. SEE IF someone told me something to help me, (which probably would have been my ex if I didn't break up). omg. Cus that might actually turn me into like that. that more I mention it the more it affects me because i know im not like that. my real soul is not like that. I am glad i havent drank and be like that. they think im jsut talking to myself.. its just they DONT GET MY FEELING. like they dont know weither im excited or what when I talk. i am a funny very open guy who makes people laugh from all directions. That is what is great when I do open up, it is like that happens.. but since I am with the one I am now it is not happening. I mean I really think its all on the relationship I'm in that is affecting my life very severly. okay so how is it my choice? BECAUSE i can HAVE a committment with her but I dont WANT it. My ex is waiting for me she says she is holding on but moving on at the same time to withstand the pain. So how is it exactly my choice? Because I get good sex with the one I am with now but she is not something i NEED. But i want it. typing this made me feel a little better because this time I am actually making a bit of since. Please tell me your advices for this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 3questions Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 OMFG. i just wrote something but accidently delete it. I was talking about how negative and stuff I am. Now you might not even get me! Now All i can talk about is these negative comments. AH c negative again! Here is what I was talking about before that stupid incident occured : Friend for egg, sad, life turning to a movie, dissapointed, depressed, etc... So why am I like this now? Like how I mention in my previous blog eveyrone had weird emotions aruond me so now I am stuck with one, atleast they understand what it is. Than I talked about maybe the real problem isn't my girlfriend because I think you dont neccessarily need someone but just a helping hand. But once i'm up people still dont get me and who I am as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Dude I don't get what you're talking about at all! You keep talking about a blog. This anit a blog. Or do you think it is? Who let the troll in? Jade Link to post Share on other sites
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