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bothered by ex's new life...i guess...not so sure...so confused


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HeartSprinkles

Almost a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I didn't even shed a tear b/c my pain was overcome with a great satisfaction that we could no longer hurt eachother. I did it over the phone. (something i regret, but I couldn't have looked at his face and do it.)

 

We had some serious issues, i lied a ton (never cheated or even thought about doing it) but i lied about meaningless stuff (to me at least), and he made me feel hated every day for lying or whatever. He was very depressed with severe family issues, and Obessive Compulsive Disorder, but I helped get him back to school and get him back in touch with his father so he could pursue a movie career.

 

So, A few weeks went by and I called him to say happy b-day and he said thanks, and that was it. 2.5 years of my life with someone, and just poof...it's gone. Honestly, I have not looked back since. I have been single for a year (dating but not steady) and I feel great. I am focused on school and getting my future inline and on track.

 

Now, I gave in to the crowd and joined MYSPACE. I was just looking people up and I typed in his name, and there he was. I guess I didn't realize the magnitude of MYSPACE.

 

So I read his profile and he has moved on, as expected, but now he is friends with a couple of girls and guys he once said horrible terrible things about. He even dumped one of the girls as a friend to be with me, because she didn't like me and him together. He then proceeds to say that he doesn't want to go back to school and finish his last four classes for whatever reason, and he smokes on top of it. He hated smokers, and he always said that people who smoked were dirty and skanky. He also goes to bars and other places he always hated going.

 

I believed him to be a reasonably mature man of 27 yrs of age, but all of this strikes me as so wrong.

 

I guess what my question is...why do you think this is bothering me? Why am I slightly obsessing over it? Why? Why? Has this ever happened to you?

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Probably because we always expect people to be as they were when we last saw them. And it is even more difficult when someone we once loved is behaving in a way that we disapprove of or is very much out of character.

 

But are you sure you are really over him?

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HeartSprinkles

I am emotionally and physically over him. I had thought about that, I guess I feel more like a mother, and my child has gone astray from my teachings.

 

I also feel like he lied to me like i lied to him (karma). He never liked those things or those people before, so why now? Is he desperate for a night-life and friends?

 

This is what bothers me, why do I really care? I know we could never be together...nor would i want to be back with him...as a friend or lover.

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