Jump to content

Different People = Different Sort of Love?


Recommended Posts

When you love in a romantic relationship, is it always the same form of love you feel, or is every time you love (a new person) a different manner of love?

Link to post
Share on other sites

IMO it is different in each relationship... there are some elements that are the same, and with any luck you've both learned from past relationships but yeah, I do believe you find something unique in every relationship that changes things.

 

With even my Little Peeps, I love them both and I do not have a favourite BUT I love them both for different reasons, admire them both for different reasons... the only things that seem to be the same is the same things that piss me off in each :lmao:

Link to post
Share on other sites
When you love in a romantic relationship, is it always the same form of love you feel, or is every time you love (a new person) a different manner of love?

 

I think there are all kinds of love, it's different with each person you're involved with. My love for my previous boyfriends is nothing like the love I have for my husband. Because each love, the give and take thing is different so that makes how you feel different too. How they are with you in general makes a difference too.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was going to post something similar to this, so I'm going to add a question, not to detract from the main post, but it does correlate: after loving other people does that take away from later loves? I was never the type of person to fall in love, so when I did, it was awkward, and I became very selfish about it. I often times feel as if I have more love to offer because I didn't love in past relationships, is this true?

Link to post
Share on other sites

When you love in a romantic relationship, is it always the same form of love you feel, or is every time you love (a new person) a different manner of love?

 

I think the answer is no. But I'd like to make a few qualifying remarks.

 

First of all, love is not just an emotion. It is a state. And that state is more or less continuous. Sometimes, we get angry, but that does not alter our general state of love, assuming we are talking about a loving person, and not a hating or indifferent person.

With that, what we call (or should call) love is a relatively constant thing or ideal. Surely, events in our lifes will impact our ideas about that, in small or large ways. If you see a happy couple, entering a restaurant, it may influence your perception of love.

 

Second, relationships can be many and varied. You can love friends, and have a great relationship, without it ever becoming sexual. Relationships like that tend to be a bit more constant, than romantic relationships, especially when such a relationship comes to an end. That is because love becomes expressed in different ways, in each relationship.

You can't express erotic love for a friend with whom you will never be intimate. In general, these differentations of 'love' that are often made, show at least a few constant dimensions in our love.

 

Third, to love is not something that is divisible. Once it is divided, it loses its function, its unity, its essence. To love is an ability, to be more precise an art, an exercitation of our will. You cannot practice an art carelessly, as we all know.

 

Fourth, we may love different persons for different reasons - but the more mature our love is, the less important the reasons are. We can admire a person for his moral views, his courage, or his wisdom. But the more we love, the less the exact qualities are essential. We will grow to love, because we need to love. Ultimately love cannot be justified other than by the nature of love itself.

 

Of course, love is often divided in many components, as there are many aspects to love. Such as erotic, companionate et cetera. A romantic relationship can exist solely because of the erotic component, or can exist because a deep intimate connection exists between two people.

 

Often what we call "love", is not love at all. It is erotic lust (which is often conveniently mistaken for love), or the appreciation to have a caring person around you, but who don't inspire anything in yourself, or many other things.

 

Of course what I have posted now, is merely from a more or less detached standpoint. With regards to feelings (which have an objective existence, and are not unrelated to the experiences people live through), it is hard to tell whether a person has the same experience regardless of their romantic partner. To answer that question, you would have to look at the individual.

As a logical result, (individual) history enters the scene. If people don't learn from their mistakes and don't grow as human beings, chances are that the same patterns occur time and again, thus making no qualitative difference.

 

So the answer is: hopefully for most people (at least those who have not found happy first loves), there will be a difference in the feelings in subsequent relationships.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Excellent observation. Terrific post, D'A!

 

indeed so, very interesting and thought provoking.

 

thanks for taking the time D'A.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...