TomSmith Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 So me and my lady planned to have a baby. We used to do a lot of fun adult things together. Ever since she got pregnant things have changed. Fun adult things had all but vanished now we just sit around like itÂ’s going out of style. I find myself board a lot and she is just sitting there being pregnant. We are about to get married and everything but will this come to pass with her being pregnant. I feel like there is very little fun and happy times anymore cause she is consumed with the baby. Looking for advice her. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 So me and my lady planned to have a baby. We used to do a lot of fun adult things together. Ever since she got pregnant things have changed. Fun adult things had all but vanished now we just sit around like itÂ’s going out of style. I find myself board a lot and she is just sitting there being pregnant. We are about to get married and everything but will this come to pass with her being pregnant. I feel like there is very little fun and happy times anymore cause she is consumed with the baby. Looking for advice her. Time to grow up, Dude. Your entire world is changing and so is hers and she is the one right now who is feeling it and dealing with it in the most personal way possible. Be supportive and understanding and start planning for a life that is all about making sure that baby is the #1 priority in your lives. Money needs to be saved and budgets need to be made. She is doing what any good mother would do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Babies are work and worry and exhausting. Sounds like she's already kind of blotted out everything else but, which is unfortunate and probably portends more of the same to come. Hopefully you will get enough joy out of the little one, though, to make it all worth it. You should wake her up though, and tell her, Honey, I know this is a big thing, but please don't become a broken record and try to maintain some balance and keep doing the things you always did as much as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Wait until you are bored with very little sleep before you start complaining. It hasn't even started yet. Good luck with your new little bundle of joy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Wait until you are bored with very little sleep before you start complaining. It hasn't even started yet. Good luck with your new little bundle of joy. Quoted for truth. This is just the beginning of a new life that you don't seem to want. Not that there's anything wrong with that- lots of people choose not to have kids because they want to live their lives, travel, have a lot more money to buy stuff, don't want to deal with changing diapers and screaming toddlers and drug addicted arrogant selfish ungrateful teenagers. My kids are grown, things didn't work out exactly as planned, although we had some great years when they were young, divorce got in the way, relationships were irreparably damaged and nowadays we don't speak all that much. I always say, next time around, no kids. Problem here is your choice has already been made, for better or worse. Hopefully once the child is born you'll suddenly realize the joy of parenting. The alternatives aren't really all that good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Pregnancy is exhausting, even before the baby is actually born. You should do some research on what to expect. Her body is draining itself of resources trying to grow another human in there, it's not fun and games! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 Which bits of "adult fun" are you still wanting to do? I assume you know that drinking is now off limits and a night at the pub will no longer hold the same appeal. What suggestions are you making for alternate activities? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TomSmith Posted July 16, 2019 Author Share Posted July 16, 2019 Which bits of "adult fun" are you still wanting to do? I assume you know that drinking is now off limits and a night at the pub will no longer hold the same appeal. What suggestions are you making for alternate activities? Alternative fun is kinda hard to figure out what to do cause she don’t wanna do anything really. We watch movies and what not. Go out to eat, go to the beach for a day. But nights are short. I’ve been trying to figure out ideas on wha else to do but her pregnant brain is much different than non pregnant. It’s like she’s a different person Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 You need to get some pre-marital counseling & start nesting . . . getting the baby's room painted & fixed up, setting up accounts to pay for college etc. It's called adulting. You are about to be the parents. Nights out are now a luxury. baby comes 1st for the next 18-25 years. Learn to be content at home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Dude this is what you signed up for. Wait until you all have a baby waking you up all night and needing care constantly. Children are a lifestyle change, a priority change - “fun times” are going to revolve around the baby. Not wanting to change my lifestyle drastically is one of the many reasons why I do not want children. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Why did you decide you wanted a baby if you didn't want anything in your life to change? How did you think it was going to work? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 It’s like she’s a different person I think you should carry the child to full term, then she'd be a lot more available for "fun and happy times"... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Alternative fun is kinda hard to figure out what to do cause she don’t wanna do anything really. We watch movies and what not. Go out to eat, go to the beach for a day. But nights are short. I’ve been trying to figure out ideas on wha else to do but her pregnant brain is much different than non pregnant. It’s like she’s a different person I take it she's enjoying going out to eat, going to movies and going to the beach for a day. That's hardly not wanting to do anything. Welcome to parenthood. Netflix is your future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 The bigger her belly becomes the better the sex is. You spelled "boobs" wrong. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Starswillshine Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Pregnancy sucks. It drains you completely, I was more tired during pregnancy than I was when I had a sleepless infant. Hormones are completely out of whack. You are limited to things you can do. She cannot drink, going out for lage nights wont be fun for her. She will already be exhausted and then watching everyone else get drunk while she sits there sober and exhausted and just wants to go home. It would be selfish of anyone to even suggest she do it. And that pregnancy brain. It is a real thing. Body is making another body... it takes everything from you. You're life is about to be all about putting someone else above yourself. Start getting used to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 op, Being a parent means putting someone else before yourself pretty much all the time. My kids are all adults and in university now, except for my youngest who is still in high school. Your life is going to change in a very fundamental way, and that can be a wonderful thing. It's also completely normal to be nervous and even downright terrified. You are going to be responsible for a brand new human being, but just like it will be a huge change, it can also be a lot of fun. When kids are babies or toddlers, they are a lot of work but as they grow up, that starts to change. You may just find yourself missing the days when they were so tiny you could hold them in your arms or they would fall asleep lying on you, their first smile, the way they laugh. Then they start going to school and you'll be so proud to see all their achievements. They'll go to high school and one day, you'll see them walk across the stage to get their diploma and you'll feel so proud. Then they're off to post secondary and your heart will break because it will feel like they don't need you anymore. It's bittersweet and then the phone will ring and you'll find they still need you after all. Op, you've got a long and amazing road ahead for you, but it's perfectly okay and understandable to be scared and even upset that your lives are about to change. Talk to your wife about it! Her life is also going through a huge adjustment, and while it may be hard, if you two can work as a untied team, supporting each other, it can be one of the most amazing times in your lives. Don't keep all this bottled up...talk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
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