MeadowFlower Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Rant incoming... It is so wrong how women are valued by men based upon their looks. They are. Not all men maybe, but the standard guy does. If the woman isn't good looking, then he doesn't want her. Women who landed on the earth with 'below average' looks are of the same value as women who were granted beauty or prettiness. They are humans too. They have ideas, feelings, interests. All the same as the pretty female. I actually dislike males who have this mindset. And of course women too can have this mindset about men, and that too is wrong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 (edited) Have you heard the saying that “there’s no such thing as an ugly lady, only a lazy one.” Anyone can look pleasant/pretty with a decent amount of effort. From my observations, it matters more whether one takes care of herself or is sloppy about her appearance. Edited July 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted July 6, 2019 Author Share Posted July 6, 2019 Oh I agree that we should all be clean and tidy. I don't believe however that we need to wear makeup. Or that we need to look pretty in order to be wanted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 why do women judge men by their money/power/status? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I really cant sympathize.... I've always contended that its FAR easier for a woman to maintain good looks than for a guy to be all of the things most women want(great career, confidence, money, status, height, great lover with ample cock size, etc)… Heck, ask most guys and all they really want is for a woman not to get fat and maintain some semblance of femininity ....Is it really that hard?? TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted July 6, 2019 Author Share Posted July 6, 2019 @tfy, you don't need to sympathise. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 one of those things thats not fair but it is what it is and cant do anything about. people want to be with who they are attracted to. all you can do is be the "solution" and not the problem since you can only control yourself and not other people especially their wants and desires. do you purposely give all the guys who are considered ugly a chance? or all the guys you dated you were attracted to physically in some kind of way? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Heck, ask most guys and all they really want is for a woman not to get fat and maintain some semblance of femininity ....Is it really that hard?? apparently it is... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I have known females who are so ugly I felt sorry for them - for about two seconds. After I saw them landing the most desirable guys in the pack, I changed my tune. Sure wish I knew what their secret was. Supreme confidence? Is that quality that seductive to men? I know (for me) it makes a big difference in guys I'm attracted to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 OB you don't have to be good looking to be sexy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Yes some women are better looking than others and will attract more men. Also I have met women who were not good look and were below average, but they attracted some men by being friendly and having an upbeat personality. I read of one women who was homely, but she had a beautiful figure and lovely breasts; when going to a party she would wear a see-through top. You work with what you have or can develop. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 (edited) Yeah , l have trouble be sympathetic on this one too because l think women are even worse. Just read through ls or go read through female profiles on a date site. Their expectations are just plain ridiculous for what they're offering. And yeah , 80% of them maybe more actually , look like crap to boot yet rambling off as if they're some princess prize. Yaknow , if an honest woman shoots within her means though, there shouldn't be a problem. Edited July 6, 2019 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 MeadowFlower Superficial judgments are unfair but I suspect you are being the most judgmental of all about your own appearance. Different men will find different women attractive & vice versa. Personally blondes don't do it for me. So all these women think Brad Pitt is so all fired wonderful. I always thought he looked messy. Maybe I have a big ego but I still act like I look good. Then I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror & practically get repulsed. I have more grey then my natural brown. It's in the awful stage where the roots are all grey. I let it go thinking I will embrace my old age & go fully silver & it looks awful so then I dye it & we start all over again. My new "normal" weight is about 158 lbs if I eat & drink as a I please. It's mostly in my stomach so I have a belly. Until I turned 45 I was between 125 - 135 with no effort so now I feel huge when I think about it. I scratched my cornea a while back & can't wear contacts. I have never thought I looked good in glasses. I rarely wear makeup & I can't be bothered to get my hair cut every 6-8 weeks. So while I used to be attractive in my 20s, in my head I think & act like I still look that way when in reality I'm a slubby middle aged woman or as June L pointed out a lazy middle aged woman, who makes the choice to not take care of her appearance. I did diet & exercise like a fiend before my 50th birthday & managed to wear a bikini on the trip to Hawaii DH arranged for my birthday but I was miserable & hungry as I got down to 137. My point with all of that is attractiveness is also an attitude. Since I carry myself like I look good even when I don't, people treat me as though I'm not ugly. Does that make any sense to you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 You are fighting a losing battle against human nature. This type of behavior is wired into us and can only be modified by experience. An attractive woman can be a pleasure to look at but, I always preferred the girls that could create a world I could fall into instead of bouncing off their beauty. Best Wishes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I disagree op. Men don’t value women based on their looks. A man can perceive a woman as high value (E.g. his boss or mother for example) and highly respect her without being attracted to her. But looks are initially what attracts a man to you. The value aspect comes after that. You don’t have to wear makeup or dress up to the nines to look attractive but you need to present yourself well. I wouldn’t want to date a man who didn’t present himself well. Roles reserved, I wouldn’t expect him to want to date me either. Didn’t you meet someone from here Op? Anything happen? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Yeah forgot to mention that part , no way looks alone can do anything for me. l'm all about the person too if that's not right it wouldn't matter what she looks like. Known or come across plenty of stunning women that l'd have zero interest in, because the person was just all wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 I think you are worrying or ranting about something you can't change: how other people think & what they are attracted to. Add to that that you've made an impossible and erroneous mountain to overcome. Since you can't change what people are attracted to looks wise, it doesn't make sense to fret over it. Also you are misjudging the attributes that guys look for in total and your own ability to present yourself in a way that is attractive. You can and should do the best with yourself--that's kind of what you can do to maximize your chances to get your foot in the door. It's not only a reflection of what physical characteristics you were born with but a sign of your confidence and what's going on inside of you to show how you take care of yourself and present yourself ideally. That doesn't mean it must be makeup worn. Some guys like natural, less makeup look. I think try to present a vision of healthy is a good standard or express your personality through your look. Goth doesn't really look healthy per se but I've seen some gorgeous goth girls mainly because they are expressing themselves. So the spectrum is wide as an example. The belief that "this" is true is holding you back and not fair to guys really. Sure is that what attracts them first but it won't keep them there if it is not backed up by common goals, chemistry and a compatible and attractive personality. So you have to find your edge and work it. I know people where I would say the guy is gorgeous and just on that alone, he could be with a more gorgeous girl than he is on the surface--but he chooses someone who is not exactly his equal looks wise but that he is attracted to in other ways. Obviously those girls figure it out. I would say it boils down to confidence and self-esteem. Acting like wherever you are with a guy you want to date is where you are meant to be & that you have a right to be there and aren't the underdog if that makes sense. To be fair, do you give guys a chance that aren't your ideal look? I'm guessing no so make sure you aren't a hypocrite if this is your belief system and you are sticking to it. Plus you should be more open-minded in general. Anyway hope you can change your mindset. Attraction is not as simple or cruel as you have made it out to be and equally you need to do your part. The worst thing you could do is become bitter and have a chip on your shoulder with this belief because that will hold you back with dating success more than your looks ever will. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Heck, ask most guys and all they really want is for a woman not to get fat and maintain some semblance of femininity ....Is it really that hard?? You hit the nail on the head. Very few guys will give a larger woman a second look. They won't look past her size and attempt to get to know her. Some of my male friends have teased me when I dated a larger woman, like I should be ashamed of myself for being seen with a "big girl". Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Some of my male friends have teased me when I dated a larger woman, like I should be ashamed of myself for being seen with a "big girl". with large women there is just more to love 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 ^^^^ @alphamale In my experience, larger women are also lower maintenance. They also seem happier, because they eat and are not irritable from starving themselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 Vast majority of women will look good enough never have to worry about being considered unattractive, if they make the effort with regards diet and exercise. If they don't... then that's part of their personality. That's a choice. Your body is a reflection of how you treat it. You only get one, and when it breaks then you're done. Some people might be more genetically gifted than others, but fat or fit is always a personal choice. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 ^^^^ @alphamale In my experience, larger women are also lower maintenance. They also seem happier, because they eat and are not irritable from starving themselves. It's one thing to be large, but larger people tend to be more susceptible to various illnesses due to lack of good nutrition/fitness. (I'm not talking normal weight, I'm talking overweight/obese.) It's not so much that I don't like larger women, I don't like women who don't take care of their health. And that's either extreme of skinny or overweight. That's what I don't get about "big is beautiful" movements. Big is not beautiful as it often also means being unhealthy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 ... but larger people tend to be more susceptible to various illnesses due to lack of good nutrition/fitness... What do you care?? For me, I'm never getting married, nor living with someone (again), so if a woman falls ill to the point that her health is affecting our relationship, I'll move on. Her health is between her and her doctor, none of my business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 What do you care?? For me, I'm never getting married, nor living with someone (again), so if a woman falls ill to the point that her health is affecting our relationship, I'll move on. Her health is between her and her doctor, none of my business. I don't care. I'm stating my view, which is different from yours and that's fine. Poor fitness/nutrition is a choice, and so is my choice not to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to address that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 6, 2019 Share Posted July 6, 2019 (edited) Never mind.... Edited July 6, 2019 by Happy Lemming Link to post Share on other sites
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