tombrady123 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Suppose you are dating a girl for a good amount of time, and you end up being in a relationship. Later on, you find out that she used to be "easier" with other guys, and they went to bed or engaged in a sexual act real quick (let's say a week into the dating, or even the day they met) - and they end up being in a relationship or just kept dating for a short period of time, BUT with you the progress to intimacy was kind of slow (way slower than the other guys) Would you be "offended"? How would you feel about this? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 A few questions here. Who initiated the first sex with your girlfriend? Did she initiate the first sex because you were a gentleman and treated her like a lady, or did you try to start it early on and she stopped you saying that she was not that kind of girl? If you waited out of respect for her, and she was receptive, then I would say you don't have a complaint, unless you are not interested in girls who engage in sex freely with multiple men. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Are you happy in your relationship? Does she meet your needs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tombrady123 Posted June 12, 2019 Author Share Posted June 12, 2019 A few questions here. Who initiated the first sex with your girlfriend? Did she initiate the first sex because you were a gentleman and treated her like a lady, or did you try to start it early on and she stopped you saying that she was not that kind of girl? If you waited out of respect for her, and she was receptive, then I would say you don't have a complaint, unless you are not interested in girls who engage in sex freely with multiple men. She initiated the first sex, After two weeks we only started doing" second base". I'd say the sex started after 3 weeks. I have no problem dating girls who engage in sex freely with multiple man, My ex had sex with other guys before me, that's not what's bothering me, I just feel a little jealous that my girl got intimate way faster with other guys, but not with me...don't know if it's normal or it could be a sign for something that is not good Link to post Share on other sites
Author tombrady123 Posted June 12, 2019 Author Share Posted June 12, 2019 (edited) Are you happy in your relationship? Does she meet your needs? Yes, she is very supportive of everything I do, we have the same plans for the future (both of us are going to college), she is kind and committed, very attracted to me as she touches me all the time and kisses me, she calls me her best friend. I can see she loves me very much and her family always want me around them. I'm not questioning our relationship, but the idea of what I wrote above plays my mind, and I wanted to ask the people here how would they feel about this. Edited June 12, 2019 by tombrady123 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 She probably feel regret at how quickly things moved in prior relationships. Maybe she felt used. She's maturing (you are both still young) and realizing she wants to be more thoughtful and intentional with her relationships. It's a good thing, not a bad thing. She's learning to respect herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 So your concern is she took 2-3 weeks vs perhaps first or second date? It's not like she make you wait three months. As all is going well, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Choose your battles. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Atwood Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I actually think it's the opposite. If a woman isn't interested in a man seriously, she has nothing to lose by sleeping with him immediately because if all she wants is sex, may as well get on with it. But if you meet a man you really like and want to consider you seriously, a lot of women will drag out the process of sex because (rightly or wrongly) we have been told that giving it up too soon will result in a man losing interest quickly. Maybe she is just so into you she wanted to feel like she was doing things properly and also trying to make sure you didn't get what you were after immediately (in her mind maybe giving you a chance to fall in love with her). This is all just speculative ifs or buts, but it's worth considering that there isn't a sinister or negative reason for it. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 If you didn't try to have sex with her in the first few weeks and just waited for her to initiate then you don't really have much to complain about. If she was blowing Tom, Dick and Harry on the first date and turned you down for the first few weeks then yeah, be offended away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 I just re-read your post. Intimacy happened with you after 2-3 weeks when SHE initiated it. I think it's a fair assumption that she had it earlier with other guys because they made a move on her and she accepted. If you wanted to start out like her previous BFs, you should have used a bit of initiative. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 She may just be starting to mature more and want to take things at a slower pace with you than she did before with her ex boyfriend/s. It may not be bad at all, but just take it slow and see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 I just re-read your post. Intimacy happened with you after 2-3 weeks when SHE initiated it. I think it's a fair assumption that she had it earlier with other guys because they made a move on her and she accepted. If you wanted to start out like her previous BFs, you should have used a bit of initiative. Yep. My assumption would be they had more game than you do. Fortune favors the brave... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Suppose you are dating a girl for a good amount of time, and you end up being in a relationship. Later on, you find out that she used to be "easier" with other guys, and they went to bed or engaged in a sexual act real quick (let's say a week into the dating, or even the day they met) - and they end up being in a relationship or just kept dating for a short period of time, BUT with you the progress to intimacy was kind of slow (way slower than the other guys) Would you be "offended"? How would you feel about this? Thank you. As a woman, I'd be kind of annoyed to find out that you were doing this sort of score-keeping and comparison, and very annoyed if you used the term "easier". Like, are you in a relationship with me, or are you only concerned about competing with random men in my past? If all you care about is random men in my past, maybe you should be dating THEM. I know this isn't the perspective you asked for, but it's something you don't seem to have considered. Is your relationship happy, or isn't it? Do you care about her, or do you care about scoring points in some big game? Why are you feeling insecure enough to need to compare yourself against everyone else? Is something else wrong? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 (edited) I'd be kind of annoyed to find out that you were doing this sort of score-keeping and comparison, and very annoyed if you used the term "easier" I agree. It’s rather disrespectful to your girlfriend to say she was “easy” with these other men. The score keeping shows your insecurity, and that is a very unattractive trait to a woman. What’s done is done. If you are happy, be happy. Don’t make problems where they don’t exist. Edited June 13, 2019 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 Well I'll toss out another reason she might have waited a bit longer - menstrual cycle. Also - don't be so insecure Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 I'm agreeing with those who suggest there's a strong possibility that she took it slower because she was serious about/looking for a relationship (vs. casual sex). I believe there a tendency to do this for some folks. Link to post Share on other sites
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