greenstraw Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a month and a half and on our first ever date, he was driven there by his mom and his mom actually went on the date with us since she was his ride home. We three saw a movie together and it was extremely awkward. And later on our second date, I had to drive well over thirty minutes across town to meet him at this ice cream place near where he lives and he explained that he had to take an Uber to said place. He came clean and told me that he's legally not allowed to drive because his license was suspended for a DUI last Fall. He also told me that he's attending DUI classes every two weeks and he's going to start doing community service to help pay off his fines and fees. On the one hand, I did appreciate his honesty over something like that, but it has become an undeniable issue in the relationship. Simply put, I don't have the free time to constantly make such a long drive to see him and he obviously is limited in his means of transportation. His mom lives up North and comes down to our city every two weeks to drive him to his DUI classes and the three of us recently went camping together. He had mentioned a camping trip and I liked the idea of the two of us camping and spending some time together, but then it turned out that his mom was coming with us. We even shared a tent together and it was a very awkward, uncomfortable experience. Simply put, I'm embarrassed by him and I feel bad about it. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a month and a half and on our first ever date, he was driven there by his mom and his mom actually went on the date with us since she was his ride home. I only got this far and I'm already embarrassed for you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 I only got this far and I'm already embarrassed for you. I'm embarrassed for the guy. As sad as it may be for him, he should not be dating right now. He needs to get himself together first. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 What a great Mom! Above and beyond the call of duty. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 How old are you two? And, you're calling him your boyfriend after only a month and a half? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Why did you even go on a 2nd date? I don't care if he's cute and sweet, he's not in a position to be dating. He should have gotten his life back on track before even thinking of dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Is this some script for a sitcom? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Wait.... he is old enough to get a DUI, but not old enough to go on dates without his mommy? I am surprised mom is down for all of this - she kinda sounds like an enabler / coddling him. Going on “dates” with her son is bizarre. Driving him to DUI classes rather than make him be a man and figure out his own problems... well it’s no wonder he is acting like a little boy. The whole situation is embarrassing. If he still needs mommy to clean up his problems and take care of him, he isn’t ready to be dating in my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 11, 2019 Share Posted June 11, 2019 Stop being embarrassed. This has a very easy solution: stop dating him. Why even ask the Q? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a month and a half and on our first ever date, he was driven there by his mom and his mom actually went on the date with us Girl, this is where the story should have ended.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyplanetmoon Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Wow huge red flags. Don’t do it. Don’t get more involved. The first date should have been the last. Is he your first boyfriend? You may have some enabler tendencies if you are blind to the red flags. Link to post Share on other sites
LauraXX Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Is this some script for a sitcom? I'd actually watch that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Just tell him you aren't feeling it. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 Two thoughts, first is wow, wtf. Second thought is, this may very well be a short term situation, there are some positives here, one being he is being somewhat responsible in not driving anyway, know a few people who had no issues with continuing to drive in that situation. More importantly is he seems very open and honest, frankly that's hard to come by now a day. There is a difference here, you are clearly not embarrassed by HIM, you seem more embarrassed by the situation he is in. You have been making a great deal of effort here so there is a reason why. What is it that is attracting you to him? It has to be strong. Focus more on that. Yet, keep an eye out on his drinking habits and other irresponsible behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I'd actually watch that Yeah, imagine Phoebe telling Rachel and Monica about her new bf who took his mama to their first date Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 DKT3 Lots of people get DWIs who are not full on boozers. Yes they do the responsible thing & don't drive but to have the mother go on the date & sleep in the tent . . . that's just wrong & inappropriate. A grown man needs to know when to cut the apron strings. Is mommy gonna pick out the engagement ring, speak the proposal & come on the honeymoon too? Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 lol, not quite sure what to say, enjoyed reading your post though, classic!! Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 His mom slept in the tent with you? Not surprised he has a drinking issue. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I don't get it, seems like two very separate issues. I'd appreciate his honesty in disclosing his DUI problems, though we live in an age where that's easily mitigated with ride-sharing apps. Mom's constant and continued presence is harder to understand. Have you asked him straight-up why a camping trip needs parental supervision? Though if you're both 12 and under, I reserve the right to edit my reply... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 How does a 12-yo kid get a DUI? Even if he needs a ride from mama, she can go shopping while you’re having your date. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 So he's an irresponsible drunk driver and he brings his mother on dates with him? Get in your car and drive far away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 15, 2019 Share Posted June 15, 2019 That's what I'm thinking, he appears to be a brutally honest person, even when it makes him out to be a loser. That's big in a day when people dont value honesty, at least not being honest. Link to post Share on other sites
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