CinnaBunney Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 It's nighttime. You and your significant other just got through making love. Would you consider it disrespectful if he/she wanted to play video games after having sex instead of going to be with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I don't consider it disrespectful. My ex worked evenings, so she usually had a bit more energy late at night than I did. I would usually go to sleep after sex while she would play a game, read a book, or watch some TV. I would consider it disrespectful (on my part) if I had demanded that she stay in bed with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 I'd be a bit put out if they wanted to leap out of bed immediately because I consider a bit of cuddling afterwards to be still part of the whole sex act, but I don't think they should have to stay glued to my side all night if it's not time to sleep yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 What exactly do you mean "just" got through? Are we talking about them getting up and going to the computer literally as soon as they came, or are we talking about after the post-coital cuddles/etc? I think the answer is fairly obvious - the former is a dealbreaker but the latter is fine. I don't think any sane person would be pissed at you for wanting to play video games 20 minutes after sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Personally, the conclusion I would draw from that action is... the video game is more important than me. You qualified that it was nighttime, so (for me) I would be spooning my girlfriend and drifting off to sleep. Again, just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Would be unacceptable to me. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Not really. Only if they decided it was more important than sex with me. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 How long does her/she play the games and how often? How soon after sex? Not right away? Occasionally, okay. Usually or always, no. Looks rude to me and I would not like it at all. So he's bored with you,, and wants frivoulous entertainment of a game. If it bothers you, tell him (and I assume this is a male.) Many men don't want the woman right after sex--they even want her to go away. It's a male psyche. But I would never resort to doing something by myself like that. I might do other dumb things though. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 (edited) It's nighttime. You and your significant other just got through making love. Would you consider it disrespectful if he/she wanted to play video games after having sex instead of going to be with you? It wouldn't bother me at all. Just after having sex with my wife during the early evening last night, she washed the stuff off her face and neck before getting dressed. Then she went downstairs to watch a film, while using the internet to look at things like social media. For me I am fine with that, since I don't need the validation and already know she loves me. At the same time, my wife is also fine with that kind of thing as well. That said if you don't like it, you ought to speak up and holdfast to your own boundaries. Edited June 10, 2019 by 5x5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Would you consider it disrespectful if he/she wanted to play video games after having sex instead of going to be with you? If it bothers you, what does it matter what we think? There’s probably things I’d dislike you’d be fine with. If he’s the right guy, he’ll take your feelings into account... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 My husband does it all the time. He's a night owl who doesn't sleep much. I go to bed much earlier then him & need 8 hours. We snuggle for a bit, usually I'm drifting off to sleep & he gets back up to play video games or read. If there is no snuggling & he just jumps off you to go play, that is a problem but him not being tired . . . people's rhythms are different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CinnaBunney Posted June 10, 2019 Author Share Posted June 10, 2019 If it bothers you, what does it matter what we think? There’s probably things I’d dislike you’d be fine with. If he’s the right guy, he’ll take your feelings into account... Mr. Lucky Actually, I am not the one it bothers because I am the one who plays the video games. He's the one who is bothered when I do so. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Well what do you love more, video games or him? Work with him to find a compromise. I never understood people who insist on doing something trivial (like playing video games) knowing that behavior hurts someone they love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Actually, I am not the one it bothers because I am the one who plays the video games. He's the one who is bothered when I do so. If it were me, I might view the relationship as more of a "FWB" type relationship. I had a "FWB" relationship with one woman and her rule was that I leave when we were finished. It was her rule and I accepted the "terms and conditions" of the "FWB" when they were presented to me. So don't be surprised if he sees the relationship as more "casual" than "serious". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Actually, I am not the one it bothers because I am the one who plays the video games. He's the one who is bothered when I do so. Do you go off right away or is he still bothered when you go after 30 minutes of cuddling...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CinnaBunney Posted June 12, 2019 Author Share Posted June 12, 2019 Do you go off right away or is he still bothered when you go after 30 minutes of cuddling...? I cuddle with him for a good 20 minutes or so, or until he says he is ready to go to sleep. Me, however needs some time to wind down and sometimes playing video games or watching TV will help me wind down before sleep which is usually not too long after he goes to sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Atwood Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I would just like to say that it’s not fair for anybody to dismiss video games as frivolous and trivial. The fact is that playing video is not a childish or immature pastime - it’s just like any other hobby. If someone whipped a crossword book out or went to do some watercolour painting to wind down after making love, that’s perfectly acceptable isn’t it? The person you sleep with or date or even marry was a person before they ever met you, and they have their own individual pursuits, dreams, ambitions and hobbies that it is not your right to control. Whatever your opinion of playing video games is, it’s not your right to prevent someone from doing it no matter how close you are to them. It’s not right to tell someone else they can’t do something because you don’t understand it - that’s a “you” problem. People need their own space to do their own thing, and considering the OP spends a good 20 minutes cuddling afterwards, there’s no reason why both parties shouldn’t go and do what they want afterwards. I understand some people want to fall asleep together afterwards. Not everyone is compatible or on the same page. So you find someone who is or compromise. Compromising could be them accepting the OP is a free person to do whatever they feel like doing, or you both agreeing to make love earlier in the evening so that you can organise going to sleep at the same time after you’ve wound down. Either way, you’ve got to communicate and find a solution together, but don’t accept that you should squash who you are and sacrifice your leisure time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 12, 2019 Share Posted June 12, 2019 I cuddle with him for a good 20 minutes or so, or until he says he is ready to go to sleep. Would not be an issue for me. H and I often play together afterwards (after the cuddling and shower together), if we had sex earlier in the night when we're not ready to sleep yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 13, 2019 Share Posted June 13, 2019 Me, however needs some time to wind down and sometimes playing video games or watching TV will help me wind down before sleep which is usually not too long after he goes to sleep. You can be right or you can be happy. Your approach perfectly reasonable to me, but I'm not the one who wants you staying close by. Isn't there a way you can game or watch TV on your phone next to him in bed? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 I'm a free person, I do what I want to do when I want to do it. If I feel the need to ask to play video games/read/watch TV then there is going to be problems down the road. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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