dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 I met a girl on a dating app. we spoke and seem to really hit it off. She seemed to have issues and said she had depression before. things got sexual and she started sending me some naughty images of herself. anyway, she said she would come to my house and meet...she intimated at sex. I had no objections lol Anyhow, this weirdest thing happens..... she comes over...comes into my room....she seemed quite shy and soft-spoken.... after 5 mins of small talk..she blurts out "you're a bit nerdy....I'm not feeling the attraction, the chemistry...i don't want sex with you...i think i should go". (keep in mind i never touched or even said I wanted anything sexual when i was with her) i find this weird....and somewhat depressing.... she saw all my facebook pics, my videos, heard my voice.....and then says that, and then takes off without even chatting for a decent length of time? What is wrong with me? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 how old are you and how old was she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 36 I am.... and she was about the same age mate....no younger than 34! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 36 I am.... and she was about the same age mate....no younger than 34! she is very immature to say that to you. you dodged a bullet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 (edited) There's nothing wrong with you. She did what a lot of people from OL do. She built up something about you in her mind before she met you. When she met you for real & you were different from how she thought you'd be she didn't like the real you. Going forward be leery of people who immediately want to come over. That is almost always too good to be true. You didn't know this woman. How do you know she wasn't coming over with a gun or knife to rob you or a group of thugs to hurt you? Letting strangers in your house off the internet is a bad idea. Safety isn't just a women's issue. Edited June 3, 2019 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 Thanks so much......... still it's hard to shake this feeling of "something is wrong with me".... I mean, given that she already saw all my many pics and videos on facebook...heard my voice, etc..... and then she states,,,,,"you are nerdy, I'm not attracted, i want to leave".... it's not a nice feeling, you know? it seems very stupid... at the least, she could have stayed and chatted. Anyhow, I told her she was a time-waster in no uncertain terms and she had some mental issues that require immediate attention....maybe i was a bit harsh?! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 While what you said may be true, it was overly harsh for you to actually say. Next go round, meet any new person in a neutral location 1st. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 The only way she could have made it more obvious that she wanted to get laid was if she hung a "f me" sign around her neck and then when she came over you sat there like a potted plant and chatted about the weather. Didn't touch her, didn't try to kiss her, nothing. If you were turned off by her easiness that's fine, but if you're really disapointed you didn't get laid maybe next time you could ask her to take you to dinner first so you could get more comfortable. Or you could just man up and make a move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 While what you said may be true, it was overly harsh for you to actually say. i know...but she said this whole "you are nerdy, no attraction.." and then ran away. it got my back up, and I felt I couldn't let somebody waste my time like that... (even though she drove 45mins to meet me)....just a strange experience all round! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 when she came over you sat there like a potted plant and chatted about the weather. Didn't touch her, didn't try to kiss her, nothing. She was only there 5 minutes. What was he supposed to do in 5 minutes? Even with the proverbial sign around her neck, he couldn't very well shove his tongue down her throat the minute she walked in the door then thrown her on the bed. Even when it's offered in a silver platter there are still preliminaries. Geeez. Got your back up? She wasted 5 minutes, not 5 weeks. Then yes she insulted you but if you are always quick tempered like that you need to learn to let things roll off your back more. She is inconsequential. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 The only way she could have made it more obvious that she wanted to get laid was if she hung a "f me" sign around her neck and then when she came over you sat there like a potted plant and chatted about the weather. Didn't touch her, didn't try to kiss her, nothing. mate, seriously she got in the door for no more than 8 minutes.... I put my arm around her when we were walking inside, but once inside i sat down around 1 meter from her and made some small chat. i mean, 5 minutes of small chat was enough to determine I was a nerd and she had no attraction??? she's a clown if that's the case, and I may have very well dodged a bullet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 Got your back up? She wasted 5 minutes, not 5 weeks. Then yes she insulted you but if you are always quick tempered like that you need to learn to let things roll off your back more. She is inconsequential. not really, I had to finish work 3 hours early....and lost the $$ as a consequence Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 You didn't have to finish work early. That was your choice. You made that choice because you thought you were going to get laid. I can understand a little why you may have been disappointed but you picked some chick off the internet over work. Where does the woman from Uber eats fit into all of this? You seem irked at her for not doing enough to reassure you about her feelings / intentions. Are you sure you are not just an angry guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 I'm not really angry, no. She just appeared rude, and I reciprocated. I should have been more astute- you are right regarding the whole internet thing....it's not easy by any means. And this chick is a different one from the Uber eats girl....the later of which I am not in a relationship with yet. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Let go of this flake. Go ask the Uber eats girl on another date. You will be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 3, 2019 Author Share Posted June 3, 2019 I agree. the Uber eats girl seems very cool...i am just a bit negative thinking at times. questioning if she really likes me Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 The only way she could have made it more obvious that she wanted to get laid was if she hung a "f me" sign around her neck and then when she came over you sat there like a potted plant and chatted about the weather. Didn't touch her, didn't try to kiss her, nothing. mate, seriously she got in the door for no more than 8 minutes.... I put my arm around her when we were walking inside, but once inside i sat down around 1 meter from her and made some small chat. i mean, 5 minutes of small chat was enough to determine I was a nerd and she had no attraction??? she's a clown if that's the case, and I may have very well dodged a bullet. Eh , l like my pot plants :bunny: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 Really though , lf someone l hadn't even met yet acted like that come over and walked straight into my bedroom like that, well actually l wouldn't even have her in yet anyway. too weird you knew nothin about her she coulda turned skitzo knife you any damn thing. Anyway , who cares what she thought of you, one mans poison and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 What is wrong with me? Nothing, no reflection on you. Perhaps she had a sudden attack of common sense, deciding she didn't want to sleep with someone she'd known for 5 minutes... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 There's nothing wrong with you, but she's best left avoided. Most rational people won't say that. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted June 3, 2019 Share Posted June 3, 2019 It usually takes women all of 10 seconds to tell if you're hot for them or not. The fact she gave you a whole 8 minutes was generous and probably indicative that she was into you on some level. Until you didn't do much except talk. If a woman comes over for sex then she wants sex. She wants you to be into her. Touch her. Gaze in her eyes. Flirt with her. And the very second you sense that she's comfortable with you being close to her and your touch, kiss her. Just because she instigated things online doesn't mean she's going to pull down your pants in person and do all the work for you. And if she changes her mind, you rubbing her leg and eyeing her lustfully isn't going to prevent her from finding an excuse to get out of there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 This was poor judgement on both of you. Her for showing up at a stranger's place and yours for thinking this was fine. People go to jail for this sort of nonsense. I would say these are the times if not for being too well versed of all the ways things go sideways....knock it off. Maybe once she smelled you it was a no go. Maybe she did the whole thing on a lark. She said she wasn't into it, good on you for gracefully letting her go. Now, please do not summon women you have never met to your home. Have a date....go out, take a walk, have a pizza, look at the stars. Get out of the house. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 UPDATE. A Strange woman.... She ended up texting me around 2 hrs after she left. She appeared to block me and then unblock me and sent this message: "sorry about my behaviour. it was not cool. i came to see you because i was rebounding off another relationship and i panicked about changing my mind when i got to your place and struggled to explain things in a decent way. i'm sorry I was hurtful. ive been struggling to be a decent person these days. I'll send you a voucher for some wine if that helps" so, i responded that it was all OK, and apologized for getting annoyed with her. Anyway we sent about pleasant texts back and forth for an hour or so. However, today I woke up and she blocked me again haha. i really don't know what her issue is?! is this behaviour normal, or am I not normal?! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 you should not have responded at all, delete her # Link to post Share on other sites
Author dinzsant Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 you should not have responded at all, delete her # thinks she's trouble? i just find her bizarre! Link to post Share on other sites
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