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When did you realize you would marry your SO?


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I was stationed in Germany in the mid 1970s. I moved in with my then German girlfriend of six months into a one room apartment on the sixth floor of an apartment building in Wiesbaden. I must admit that although I really liked my girlfriend, marriage was not in my thoughts. I would like to say that what changed my mind was our romantic trip to Holland or when we went to Trier to explore the Roman ruins together. Instead it was something much more significant.

 

That year I caught the flu and it was bad. It knocked me down for a week. I vomited so violently that blood vessels burst in the whites of my eyes and I could have easily played the part of a corpse in a horror movie. I was one miserable, unattractive, smelly lump-of-flesh that could barely make it to the bathroom.

 

My girlfriend worked as a legal secretary around eight blocks away. She not only took care of me when she was home, she also came home every workday during her lunch hour to make sure I wasn't dead and had what I needed to make it through the day then went back to work.

 

Even through the fog of my illness I understood the depth of her commitment to our relationship. She pulled me into the deep water and I knew I couldn't leave her behind. Two months later we married.

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major_merrick

I dated my husband when we were younger - we pretty much grew up together. But I never really had "forever" in mind back then. I think he did, but I was too focused on just getting through daily life. I always thought I would be dead by 30, if not before. I only realized I was meant to be with him and his family about two months before we married. Turning 30 was a big one for me, almost like I could finally start living life instead of being scared of it. I'd been on-and-off crazy about him for about a year before we married, but it was still mostly physical.

 

If I had been less stupid when I was younger, we'd have been together permanently ten years before we actually tied the knot. I kind of kick myself for that, but it did allow him time to meet his other partners, and me to meet my GFs. Our family wouldn't have been complete without them, so I guess good things come to those who take the "path less traveled."

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Our family wouldn't have been complete without them, so I guess good things come to those who take the "path less traveled."

 

I agree, we are the sum of our experiences.

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I have not quite got to that stage yet,

 

one girl though that I met on a train, I says to myself after 5 minutes I am going to marry her,

 

we did not get that far however we did build a good friendship which is something,

 

I guess my point is someone with whom you have a strong connection you are likely to notice it pretty early in your acquaintance.

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My ex-husband told me that the night we met in a dancing club he went back to his mom's house, he was on military leave prior to going to Europe, and he told his mom he had met the woman he'd marry. We married 3 years later after my college.

 

 

 

I had an oh-oh moment with my current boyfriend. We had been dating 1 year and him being on a work permit in my country makes his financial situation very frigile, not allowed to credit cards, loans, etc. Well my 28 year old daughter had a car accident and it was a total loss. My bf did not hesitate to empty his bank account to buy her a new car. I was deeply touched by his generosity and impressed that he was ready to deal and help with my adult daughter's drama. I knew then he was ready for us to be a family, a real one.

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pepperbird

I met my spouse about 23 years ago and we got "engaged" the next night.

 

Three kids, a ton of moves, deployments, working through PTSD and a whole lot of other crap, and we are still together and actually quite happy :)

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I guess my point is someone with whom you have a strong connection you are likely to notice it pretty early in your acquaintance.

 

It can happen that way. In high school I started talking with a girl that sat in front of me in class. Didn't really think too much about it until one day we were talking and it was like we were in the "cone of silence." We were abruptly brought back to reality when the teacher asked if we would be so kind as to join the rest of the class. The teacher was grinning and everyone else laughed and we were embarrassed but we were also a couple after that. It was a bit of movie romance in real life.

 

BTW, the "cone of silence" reference was pulled from an old TV series "Get Smart."

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My ex-husband told me that the night we met in a dancing club he went back to his mom's house, he was on military leave prior to going to Europe, and he told his mom he had met the woman he'd marry. We married 3 years later after my college.

 

 

 

I had an oh-oh moment with my current boyfriend. We had been dating 1 year and him being on a work permit in my country makes his financial situation very frigile, not allowed to credit cards, loans, etc. Well my 28 year old daughter had a car accident and it was a total loss. My bf did not hesitate to empty his bank account to buy her a new car. I was deeply touched by his generosity and impressed that he was ready to deal and help with my adult daughter's drama. I knew then he was ready for us to be a family, a real one.

 

My female cousin years ago said the same thing. She told me she was at a church function and had met the man she was going to marry. She knew it the minute he walked through the door. I've lost contact with her over the years but I believe they are still together.

 

I think what your bf did was a significant signal about how he feels about the relationship he has with you.

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eleanorrigby

Sounds corny but I think we always knew we were going to get married.

 

I remember sitting in class doodling and writing in my notebook about what kind of boys I liked and about the boy I'd just met and how I'd probably end up marrying him.

 

I had just met him a few days ago before.

 

A couple of weeks after we started going out, he told me he was going to marry me.

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Sounds corny but I think we always knew we were going to get married.

 

Corny? Maybe, but pleasant to think about.

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I was stationed in Germany in the mid 1970s. I moved in with my then German girlfriend of six months into a one room apartment on the sixth floor of an apartment building in Wiesbaden. I must admit that although I really liked my girlfriend, marriage was not in my thoughts. I would like to say that what changed my mind was our romantic trip to Holland or when we went to Trier to explore the Roman ruins together. Instead it was something much more significant.

 

That year I caught the flu and it was bad. It knocked me down for a week. I vomited so violently that blood vessels burst in the whites of my eyes and I could have easily played the part of a corpse in a horror movie. I was one miserable, unattractive, smelly lump-of-flesh that could barely make it to the bathroom.

 

My girlfriend worked as a legal secretary around eight blocks away. She not only took care of me when she was home, she also came home every workday during her lunch hour to make sure I wasn't dead and had what I needed to make it through the day then went back to work.

 

Even through the fog of my illness I understood the depth of her commitment to our relationship. She pulled me into the deep water and I knew I couldn't leave her behind. Two months later we married.

What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing.

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Prudence V
When did you realise you would marry your SO?

 

When we fell in love and he decided to divorce his xW.

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I fell in love with DH about 6 weeks after meeting him. My EX, who I had dated for about 2 years, 2 years previous, had died unexpectedly that morning. The EX & I had gone to high school together but didn't date until we were adults, late 30s. I was so upset I forgot to cancel my date. DH arrived for our Saturday night date to find me in my PJs sprawled on my living room floor bawling. I had to tell him what happened. He picked me up off the floor, put his arms around told me he understood that I was grieving. He also said that he had big broad shoulders I was welcome to cry all over them.

 

 

{ awwwwww . . . cue violins & sappy music :love:}

 

 

Maybe 9 - 12 months later we were in a bar having a quiet drink & I asked him what his end game / purpose of dating was. He kind of looked spooked. I said not necessarily with me but in general was he open to marriage, was that something he wanted down the road. He relaxed, the looked at me so thoughtfully & with so much love, even as he evaded the question but confirmed that marriage was his end goal, I knew then & there it would be with me.

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ah Dalmatian,

 

 

that's a bittersweet one, but I am pleased you had your happy ending,

 

 

hmmn, from a few of your posts, I get the sense you genuinely love your husband actually, which is nice

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2.50 a gallon

My story is like schlumpys

I went in for hernia surgery, it was supposed to take place at 8 in the a. m. and released about 5. My mother accompanied me

But my luck the cops got into a shoot out and they needed the surgery rooms so I did not go under until after noon.

When I came to, I found that I had been admitted for the night, I was freezing cold, laying on my back I had to pee, but in order to do so had to use muscles that had just been cut on. This was back when you could still smoke in a hospital. I was a long time smoker, but my mom had put me into a non-smoking room. They had given me something to eat, it looked unappetizing, something like macaroni & cheese and spaghetti sauce.

My mom was of no assistance" "There's nothing I can do"

Then my GF shows up. She goes and gets me a nurse and the two of them help me to the bathroom where I can dribble. She gets me a second blanket, then found a p-nut butter sandwich and some jello and a coke.

Then lights me a cigarette and when they complain she tells them to "F" off as I had been a smoker for over a decade. And I went back to sleep.

My GF had been bugging me for us to get married, and the way I looked at it my GF had been the only one to come through come when I needed it most.

We were married 6 month later.

But, alas we broke up 6 months after that

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My story is like schlumpys

 

My GF had been bugging me for us to get married, and the way I looked at it my GF had been the only one to come through come when I needed it most.

We were married 6 month later.

But, alas we broke up 6 months after that

 

Sorry to hear it didn't work out.

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When I met her in person for the first time and found out she was real and all that over the phone chemistry translated into real life. After that it was game on. :cool:

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When I met her in person for the first time and found out she was real and all that over the phone chemistry translated into real life. After that it was game on. :cool:

 

I can feel your enthusiasm.:laugh:

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Oddly enough, with my first "serious" GF, I knew the day we met.

It didn't work out! :)

Oh and it was painful!

 

With my current GF. 10 years later.

She was a friend and nothing more, a VERY good friend though, we spoke everyday for many years.

We took a trip a little over a year ago. We decided that we were going to try to "date", and see if it felt awkward. We had extremely good emotional connection being close friends for many years but never looked at each other in any other way.

Going away on that trip changed everything. We were intimate, we laughed together, we shared stories, we connected in so many unimaginable ways I could not have been happier with the attempt to "give it a go".

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I think the nudge of that shotgun barrel in my back was when I realized this was the one. :eek:

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Kitty Tantrum

EMBARRASSING BACKSTORY: After divorcing my ex-husband who got me into swinging, I'd gone on to date a guy long-distance who had a fetish for me sleeping around with other men (I swear I'm not usually this dumb). Enter my now-fiance. I hooked up with him because he was charming and I had permission. It was "strictly casual" - until it eventually dawned on me that I was repulsed by the idea of hooking up with other guys. I'd stopped hooking up with anyone else (in my boyfriend's physical absence) pretty much right away, and I was beginning to realize how deeply-seated my monogamous inclinations were. But by then he was planning to move several states away, and I'd held him at arm's length for so long that I REALLY didn't think I had a shot with him. But I broke up with the boyfriend anyway (which was a lot harder than I like to make it sound), and spent a few weeks crying, feeling sorry for myself, thinking I'd made a right mess of things and that I would probably die alone. Then I wrote my FWB a letter telling him that I loved him and would miss him, and thanking him for the time we'd spent together. He was very touched, but was still planning (and already packing) to move.

 

I was working as a baker for a small local business at the time, where I was basically flying solo, setting my own hours and production schedule, etc. I was able to earn some pretty decent bonuses (% of department profits), so while my kids were staying with their dad, I would work crazy hours. I had a cot in my "office" (a corner of the basement) where I would nap or even sometimes spend the night. I remember musing to myself while I was working into the wee hours one morning (probably while crying into a stand mixer) "Yep, I'm gonna die alone... nobody's gonna come down HERE looking for a wife."

 

One afternoon just a few days later, I was zonked out on my little cot after pulling an all-nighter at work, all bedraggled and covered in flour and powdered sugar. I woke up to someone saying my name. I was confused at first, because that never happens. Then I looked around, and there was his silhouette standing in the door. He looked very tired, but pulled me into his arms and just held me tight for a long time. Then he had to go home and sleep because he'd been driving for some ungodly number of hours. He had been on a road trip visiting family for a week or two, and the first thing he did when he got back into town was come find me - in my dark little corner of the basement where nobody ever goes.

 

The words "nobody's gonna come down HERE looking for a wife" ran through my head again, and I suddenly felt like God was laughing at me.

 

That was my first inkling - but of course I second-guessed it until a few days later when he came and picked me up from work and told me he had changed his mind and canceled his move because he wanted to be with me.

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crispytoast

You're all monsters, I tell you! Monsters! You almost made me cry. They would've been tears of joy. :love:

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EMBARRASSING BACKSTORY: I woke up to someone saying my name. I was confused at first, because that never happens. Then I looked around, and there was his silhouette standing in the door. He looked very tired, but pulled me into his arms and just held me tight for a long time. Then he had to go home and sleep because he'd been driving for some ungodly number of hours. He had been on a road trip visiting family for a week or two, and the first thing he did when he got back into town was come find me - in my dark little corner of the basement where nobody ever goes.

 

The words "nobody's gonna come down HERE looking for a wife" ran through my head again, and I suddenly felt like God was laughing at me.

 

It never really works or feels right unless it falls together all on its own. Maybe you can circle the wagons now.

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loversquarrel

She put my needs ahead of hers, she accepted my children from my previous marriage, she was patient and endured me at my worst. She never left and I am forever grateful she didn't. I woke up one morning after a night of heavy drinking and drugging and realized I was giving up on myself but she wasn't giving up on me. I stopped what I was doing and cleaned myself up, that day was the day I realized she was the one for me.

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