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Putting out the right bait


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I think the reason many people struggle in relationships is that they put out the wrong kind of bait to attract people.

 

If you flash your money and your wealth to attract women then you will attract a woman who is a gold digger and views you as a walking wallet

 

If you hide your intelligence and downplay your success you will attract a sexist man who is intimidated by these things

 

If you act like super woke man who is always apologizing for his gender you will attract a hardcore gender warrior who will eventually turn that rage towards you

 

If you use only sex to attract a man you will attract men who see you as an object

 

If you act like super alpha to attract a woman you will attract somebody who will never let you be vulnerable

 

My point is that you should put out what will attract the kind of person you want in your life.

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Good post, Woggle! People do this all the time. They don't even realize it. There's so many men attracted to golddiggers and I am pretty sure it's mainly because they act like prostitutes and are overtly flirtatious.

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Well, yes and no , there's no set thing, and the intimidation thing, againnnn, man.

Those women tell themselves that stuff because often men don't like them, because they can be cold fishes with no time and high maintenance, and they often have a chip on their shoulder.

The other bits and pieces , l dunno , can't label anyone with most of this stuff in my world l don't really know anyone in real life that isn't just themselves.

Which is mainly what l always try to suggest to people in threads and stuff, unless you got obvious problems of some sort that need some work, just be yourself.

You need to meet someone you genuinely gel with and get along with, the only way for that is if your you, nothing else is sustainable or real.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I think you should just be genuine and not look to "bait" anyone.

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Yes there are some women who use the intimidated thing to make excuses for a terrible personality but there are some men who have feel that he is the head and she must be the stay at home wife and mom. They believe in strict gender roles and if a woman plays down her smarts or her accomplishments that is what she tends to attract. There are also plenty of men who want an intelligent woman and if woman wants a man like that then it works in her favor to put her smarts on display.

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I'm in the camp of being your authentic self, not creating an image or casting specific bait. Seriously, who has the time and energy to deal with someone they had to play a created part to attract.

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women are hard-wired to be attracted to power and resources (i.e. money) whereas men are hard-wired to be attracted to youth and beauty.

 

it has always worked like that and will always work like that

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somanymistakes
women are hard-wired to be attracted to power and resources (i.e. money) whereas men are hard-wired to be attracted to youth and beauty.

 

it has always worked like that and will always work like that

 

It will "always" work like that, except for the millions and millions of relationships where it doesn't.

 

Surprise! Older women still find love. Sometimes even with men much younger than themselves.

 

Surprise! Men who aren't rich still find love. Sometimes even with women much richer than themselves.

 

Humans are not all the same. And no matter what a weirdo you are there's probably someone out there equally weird. It's a big planet.

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And no matter what a weirdo you are there's probably someone out there equally weird....

 

I am not a weirdo

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I am not a weirdo

 

I think she meant "you" universally, AM, not you personally. :cool:

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I think she meant "you" universally, AM, not you personally. :cool:

 

ok, I see :laugh:

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women are hard-wired to be attracted to power and resources (i.e. money) whereas men are hard-wired to be attracted to youth and beauty.

 

it has always worked like that and will always work like that

 

Nobody is hardwired for anything. We just happen to be living in a very soulless and shallow era in our society. I was listening to the radio the other day and the music just sounded soulless and plastic and that is because society is soulless and plastic. That being said that there are still many people who don't want a walking blow up doll or a walking wallet.

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mark clemson
women are hard-wired to be attracted to power and resources (i.e. money) whereas men are hard-wired to be attracted to youth and beauty.

 

it has always worked like that and will always work like that

 

 

As somanymistakes pointed out, these are tendencies, rather than rules. It's kind of like saying all men are hard wired to be attracted to women. Yes, many are but then there's the gays, the genderfluids, the bi's, the asexuals, etc. Many are hard wired but not all and not all are completely/only/fully wired only one way.

 

And even for those who are genuinely hard wired, they can make choices for cultural or belief-related reasons to go against their hard wiring (becoming a monk or hermit, for example). So the cliche of feminists who (in some cases) don't realize they're submissives and secretly wish for a 1950's style household, etc (this is a recurring theme on Post Secret). Not to mention gay men who try to force themselves to go straight.

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As somanymistakes pointed out, these are tendencies, rather than rules. .

 

no, these are in your DNA

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Nobody is hardwired for anything. We just happen to be living in a very soulless and shallow era in our society. I was listening to the radio the other day and the music just sounded soulless and plastic and that is because society is soulless and plastic. That being said that there are still many people who don't want a walking blow up doll or a walking wallet.

 

back in the day some ppl thought that Pink Floyd, The Stones and Led Zeppelin sounded soulless and plastic

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back in the day some ppl thought that Pink Floyd, The Stones and Led Zeppelin sounded soulless and plastic

 

lol... my ex-in-laws thought I was a witch because I listen to Fleetwood Mac. lol... I swear I never played them albums backwards! lol... :o

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lol... my ex-in-laws thought I was a witch because I listen to Fleetwood Mac. lol... I swear I never played them albums backwards! lol... :o

 

:p:lmao:....

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mark clemson
no, these are in your DNA

 

 

Isn't that like saying heterosexuality is in your DNA? Clearly for some people it either isn't or even if it is other factors are suppressing it.

 

DNA is a complicated thing. There can be hidden (recessive) genes and competing elements which may not win out in an either/or fashion (e.g. hazel eyes). A human being is even more complicated, and the DNA is the starting point, not the ultimate finished product.

 

Our brains (mine included) have a tendency to try to simplify complicated realities. Hence, for example red pill views are good models for understanding behavior some of the time. Blanket statements are almost never literally true.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
lol... my ex-in-laws thought I was a witch because I listen to Fleetwood Mac. lol... I swear I never played them albums backwards! lol... :o

 

Just a week and a half ago my mom asked me if Pink Floyd music was satanic. :lmao:

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oceanblue12

Why don't people just listen to the music and enjoy instead reading all sorts of nonsense into lyrics and such

 

People should sing and dance more maybe

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DrReplyInRhymes
Why don't people just listen to the music and enjoy instead reading all sorts of nonsense into lyrics and such

 

People should sing and dance more maybe

 

I agree - music is the soul's release into an expression of itself. It's literally universal rhythm that is understood by everyone - even if you don't speak the language. You can feel the emotion.

 

I always find it amazing that one song played one day can have a whole different meaning to someone when compared the same exact song played another day. While there are some amazing singers and songwriters who can tailor songs to fit almost anyone - the message it aims to deliver is radically different depending on who listens to it, when they listen to it, and why they listen to it.

 

As for the original question - I think bait is subjective. It seems to me that most people would like to sell themselves with their selling points - aka their best features. While this may attract people who look to take advantage of those features - you also have the chance of attracting those who do not look to take advantage. Putting out the right bait is just a way of trying to find what you want - is that so bad? Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but I don't see why attracting what you want could be anything but constructive - even if it doesn't work out.

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Sadly, some folks have no bait on the line. And there's not "plenty of fish" either. Or maybe the odds are good but the goods are odd...haha.

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back in the day some ppl thought that Pink Floyd, The Stones and Led Zeppelin sounded soulless and plastic

 

True but you listen to their music and you can hear the passion and the talent. You can hear the passion and the talent in 80s pop as well when pop music was still good. These days it is just some autotuned person attempting to sing over some basic stuff I could play on a fisher price keyboard.

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True but you listen to their music and you can hear the passion and the talent. You can hear the passion and the talent in 80s pop as well when pop music was still good. These days it is just some autotuned person attempting to sing over some basic stuff I could play on a fisher price keyboard.

 

:lmao::lmao:

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