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dislike my wifes job


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Coffeeaddict71

My wife has a job where she cares for people in their homes for a private company, this includes washing them .. I truly dislike this aspect of her job that has her washing and touching other men.. she says that it is my problem.. we are married so I see it as our problem.. I struggle to reconcile this.. can anyone offer advice?

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My advice is to count your blessings that you're not in a situation where you need to rely on angels like your wife to have to take care of your basic needs. I also imagine you are dreadfully insecure to not only be threatened by the genitals of people who unable to care for themselves, but to also try and control your wife's choice of job.

 

Time for some serious introspection on your part.

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Coffeeaddict71

Well.. I can understand why you would think that.. but when we married she and I both said we were the only people we now wanted to see naked.. further.. she is washing and caring for men of differing age groups.. from teen boys to old men.. so I dont think it is unreasonabale to not want her touching the genitals fo other chaps, especially when she has let it slip some get turned on by her washing them.. so yes.. call it insecure but I dont like it.. even if it is lovely she has a caring nature..

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She's a medical professional not a sex worker. Sick people deserve dignity & that includes being clean.

 

You are being unreasonable. The fact that some chaps get aroused is not caused by her. It's a human reaction.

 

Try to get your mind out of the gutter. Her job is not a medical porno.

 

If you really think that her doing her job is violating your promise to each other then divorce her. She deserves to be married to a man who trusts her, which you don't.

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Coffeeaddict71

it is not about trust.. I certainly dont think she is having sex with them. But thanks for the understanding and advice

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There's nothing sexual whatsoever about washing people. I'd hope that if she was a doctor you wouldn't be upset over her seeing naked men...? :confused:

 

 

If it still really bothers you, you have the right to talk to her about it, but you'd better have a solution ready to suggest, otherwise it's just whinging. Are you able and willing to support both of you on your income alone?

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Wallysbears

She works in a healthcare capacity. This is part of the job.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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it is not about trust.. I certainly dont think she is having sex with them.

 

It kind of is because you are jealous. Your insecurities are misplaced. You know she won't be having sex with them but the idea that yours are not the only genitals she touches is bugging you. Maybe you are worried that some other guy is bigger then you & she'll be tempted. Maybe you can't deal with another man finding your wife attractive, I get that your feelings about this are real & upsetting but you must remember to her it really is a job & it's not sexy. Washing a person is about as sexy to her as washing their dishes.

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If one needs help with washing himself, then he must be pretty sick or very disabled. The last word you think of is “sexy” :p

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loversquarrel
Well.. I can understand why you would think that.. but when we married she and I both said we were the only people we now wanted to see naked.. further.. she is washing and caring for men of differing age groups.. from teen boys to old men.. so I dont think it is unreasonabale to not want her touching the genitals fo other chaps, especially when she has let it slip some get turned on by her washing them.. so yes.. call it insecure but I dont like it.. even if it is lovely she has a caring nature..

 

 

Key in on the word wanted and think real hard...

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Oh, man, you need to grow up! Your wife is a caring professional. I will tell you this, but she already knows it and that's why she's told you that's your problem:

 

You are projecting. You're assuming she thinks like you and you think you would be turned on by washing some old person's body, so you assume she is too, or that that old person would be turned on by you. When you're old, it's humiliating being cared for in these ways by anyone, but it's a fact of life. It's anything but sexy. It's your flaw that you think there's anything sexual about it and it says way more about you than about your caring professional wife.

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Springsummer

I can totally understand OP. I can not handle it either. doctor or not.

 

but, on the other hand, it is hugely admirable to do such kind of job, because it not easy. I can not do it. but somebody has to do it.

 

so, if I were OP, I do not what to do either.

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you have a wife to be proud of, for caring so...

 

 

Yeah this is very true .

And granted , it's not a real nice thought for the H but believe me , she won't be liking it one bit it's a terrible part of the job and most of the patients are old and messed up anyway and they have to wash and care for women too.

My ex w was a nurse and carer right through our 19yrs and still is now.

On call , out to their private houses , anything and everything.

lt's often not an easy job man , not easy at all , could l tell you some stories. Takes a lot guts and an incredible nature to care for people like this.

 

A lot of the patients too though don't need that sort of thing , just checking and their pills or a bit of help somehow.

Give her some tlc when she gets home tonight believe me she would've earnt it.

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losangelena

I did this kind of work for a while for a man who had cerebral palsy. There is NOTHING titillating about washing a person’s privates in that way. They’re body parts the way a neck or an arm or a foot are body parts. It’s not an exciting part of the job, but it comes with the territory. I get that there’s an ick factor for you, but I agree that I do think this is something you need to emotionally sort out for yourself. Expecting her to quit over it is expecting too much.

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I did this kind of work for a while for a man who had cerebral palsy. There is NOTHING titillating about washing a person’s privates in that way. They’re body parts the way a neck or an arm or a foot are body parts. It’s not an exciting part of the job, but it comes with the territory. I get that there’s an ick factor for you, but I agree that I do think this is something you need to emotionally sort out for yourself. Expecting her to quit over it is expecting too much.

 

was he able to go potty by himself or did you have to help with that too?

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why don't you double or triple your salary so she can stay at home

 

I assume you're joking here. But suggesting a woman give up respectable work to satisfy her husband's controlling nature is problematic

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bathtub-row

I’ll bet if a woman’s husband bathed other women in all age groups, this would be a different conversation. I’m with you, OP, this would bother me a great deal. What I find odd is that it seems a male should be bathing a male, and a woman bathing a woman. That may not be feasible or practical but it seems it should be that way.

 

I think your wife needs to find a different job. There must be plenty of care taking jobs that don’t involve bathing.

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I’ll bet if a woman’s husband bathed other women in all age groups, this would be a different conversation.

 

You're suggesting that the average women would have problems with a male partner who's job as a doctor, nurse or in allied health brings them in contact with female genitalia? :eek:

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I assume you're joking here. But suggesting a woman give up respectable work to satisfy her husband's controlling nature is problematic

 

Not to mention his adolescent immaturity.

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bathtub-row
You're suggesting that the average women would have problems with a male partner who's job as a doctor, nurse or in allied health brings them in contact with female genitalia? :eek:

 

I’m saying that most women would have a problem with their husband bathing women of all ages. They would have even more of a problem with it if there was evidence of that person being turned on by it.

 

I’m not saying OP’s wife is doing anything wrong but we can’t just negate how her husband feels about it, or accuse him of being a control freak because of how he feels.

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losangelena
I assume you're joking here. But suggesting a woman give up respectable work to satisfy her husband's controlling nature is problematic

 

I think he was being sarcastic.

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