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I am sure a lot of people go through this. But I can never seem to meet my complete package.

 

I'll go out with women whose personalities and sense of humor are absolutely fantastic. They stimulate me 100% mentally. But they wind up either being vanilla or they just don't prioritize sex.

 

Then I'll go out with women who are kinky, share my passion for sex, and I could spend all day in bed. But they're ultimately like junk food. Short term enjoyment and no long term substance. I'll get bored because hot sex without connection is not ultimately satisfying.

 

Does anyone have any success stories of meeting a complete package?

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mark clemson

If by "complete package" you mean women who are smart and have great personalities and are also wild in bed or have kinks, then yes they are certainly out there.

 

Not sure how many women you've dated, but suggest you keep trying and/or mix it up a bit in terms of what you go for.

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to date women that are the "complete package" the man must all present himself as the "complete package"

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Not sure how many women you've dated, but suggest you keep trying and/or mix it up a bit in terms of what you go for.

 

I tend to meet women easily and date quite a bit. But I am at a point in my life where hot sex alone doesn't do it for me and I really crave connection/consistency.

 

But with a lot of the "LTR" women I am meeting who I get along great with mentally, they just lack the sexual energy and dynamic I need to be fully happy.

 

I am actually proud of how much I have grown and how centered I feel at this point in my life. Women have always been a vice/weakness for me. But I have outgrown my player phase finally. So it is kind of empowering to be able to walk away from a beautiful willing woman who I know isn't right for me.

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mark clemson

This makes sense to me. I've actually never dated a woman (or girl as a teen) who wasn't at least reasonably smart. Less intelligent women actually make me uncomfortable as partners for some reason, so I pass them over even if they're cute/sexy (except for ONS in a few cases).

 

I think you should focus on the personality/intelligence aspect (this will probably be most important long term) and find the (possibly somewhat small) subset who have your same level of activity and/or the right kinks for you. Think that will make the most sense long term (which is what it sounds like you're looking for).

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l'd say what your asking is pretty commonly found in the end.

That's usually the one that turns into something real or marriage and there's a helluva lotta partnered up people out there right.

Sure many l don't envy but there are plenty with the right stuff too.

Myself yeah , l couldn't ask for more.

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The complete package doesn't exist. Those who seek it are destined to be chronically single. It's the curse of those who think they can have everything their heart desires.

Edited by basil67
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Blind-Sided

You need to realize that both sides you are talking about doesn't really exist in one package. (not ever, but not normally) I've hear so many times... there are girls you date (kinky) and the girls you marry. (vanilla) You want that stable, trustworthy person to settle down with. So... stop looking, and be with the girl you need now. If you are young, and want to party... then be with those girls. If you want to settle down, get yourself a nice bowl of vanilla, and just enjoy the predictability.

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l'd probably say similar really and that the complete as in 100% perfect package nah it probably doesn't exist either, there'll always be things , but that's ok of course there will be.

But to come across say those two main things op is talking about for example, of course it's possible. Or any other 2 or 3 combo of what's most important to any of us.

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The complete package doesn't exist. Those who seek it are destined to be chronically single. It's the curse of those who think they can have everything their heart desires.

 

yes I agree with this

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Wallysbears

You're also the guy that ruled out a woman because SHE initiated asking you for a drink when you messaged her online dating.

 

Yet another case of 'I want what I want, don't want to compromise and then want to complain that I don't get exactly what I want'

 

So keep on doing what you're doing. You may eventually find someone that ticks all of your boxes, it just might take a lot longer since you rule out so many potential women with your expectations.

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... it just might take a lot longer since you rule out so many potential women with your expectations.

It is not just about expectations it is about kinks.

He has previously said his preference is for early twenties, submissive women who satisfy his need to be a Daddy Dom.

Expecting these ultra young women to then be well rounded and entertaining and have fantastic personalities too is a big ask, especially as Daddy Dom is 38 and is at a different life stage.

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mark clemson
The complete package doesn't exist. Those who seek it are destined to be chronically single. It's the curse of those who think they can have everything their heart desires.

 

I have to say Basil I don't actually agree with this. I've only dated around 15 women, but in that small group I found two that might be in the "complete package" zone, at least for me:

 

  • Hawaiian dance major who was very into sex and experimental and also quite smart
  • Psychology grad student who was a BDSM switch and enjoyed rope play and a few other kinks as well as vanilla sex

It's true I didn't marry either of these women, but the 2nd one was a potential.

 

One can also develop very strong feelings organically for someone even though they may not be everything you want "on paper".

 

It's also true that people change over time and so the complete package at 25 may no longer be that at 45. The converse is also true, however and the person who you "settled for" at 28 might in some cases grown into a really super partner by 50. So, agree with the point about not trying necessarily to "check all boxes".

Edited by mark clemson
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Ruby Slippers
The complete package doesn't exist. Those who seek it are destined to be chronically single. It's the curse of those who think they can have everything their heart desires.

I agree. A wise older friend told me if you find someone who's 80% of your ideal, make it work.

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I agree. A wise older friend told me if you find someone who's 80% of your ideal, make it work.

 

I would say 51%

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Ruby Slippers
I would say 51%

That's very generous of you ;) I suppose it depends on how well you do alone. I do all right, so I agree with 80%.

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Yeah ya certainly can't complain with 80% , see l'd consider say those two things op mentioned, around 80%.

l wonder what people would consider the average relationship is then ?

Like serious very long term or marriage thing.

ps , might start a thread about that .

Edited by chillii
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Smart, LTR- minded submissives are not just going to submit to you on the first date, or even the third. They may date you or even sleep with you, but they're not going to submit to you. They would need you to prove that you are worthy of their trust and submission before they do that, for obvious reasons. I don't even tell people about my sexual preferences until I've known them for a long while.

 

 

 

Your question is kind of like asking why you're not getting any fish when you're dangling your fishing rod in the air.

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I have to say Basil I don't actually agree with this. I've only dated around 15 women, but in that small group I found two that might be in the "complete package" zone, at least for me

 

A 'complete package' ticks every single box. It's not to hard to find someone who's near enough - I agree with the 80% comments. But the OP isn't seeking a 'near enough'

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Smart, LTR- minded submissives are not just going to submit to you on the first date, or even the third. They may date you or even sleep with you, but they're not going to submit to you. They would need you to prove that you are worthy of their trust and submission before they do that, for obvious reasons.

 

Yep. A friend of my recently got hit on by a Dom. He was assuming interest in her part, following her around when she wasn't showing interest and touching her on her arms etc. She was horrified that a dom she barely knows would even begin to touch her without consent. She gave him a lecture on consent and left him in her wake.

 

From what she says, she needs an enormous amount of trust to be sub to someone. From what the OP writes, I think he doesn't want to spend time gaining the trust of someone.

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Yep. A friend of my recently got hit on by a Dom. He was assuming interest in her part, following her around when she wasn't showing interest and touching her on her arms etc. She was horrified that a dom she barely knows would even begin to touch her without consent. She gave him a lecture on consent and left him in her wake.

 

From what she says, she needs an enormous amount of trust to be sub to someone. From what the OP writes, I think he doesn't want to spend time gaining the trust of someone.

 

 

Yes, exactly. It's a natural selection process, unfortunately. Submissives who AREN'T picky about whom they submit to tend to get hurt very badly very soon, by any one of the legions of fake "dom/domme"s out there. (You know, the ones who are only claiming to be such because they think it's an "easy" way to get what they want and who don't actually care about the submissive.) That means that, even if they're fortunate enough to come out of the encounter alive and physically well, they are usually emotionally traumatized and put off submission or D/s for a long, long time.

 

 

Those of us who are still in love with submission and with the person we are submitting to after a long time, almost invariably tend to be very selective.

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