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Lying to my friend


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I have a female best friend (I’m male) who I told a lie to and she caught me. I do have romantic feelings for her but she won’t ever date me. So there’s this guy friend of hers that I don’t like because I get jelious and he gets jelious of me because we both like her. So she had him over and me and her were supposed to go to a class together and I know she was going to bring him with because last week she brought him with even though he’s not in the class. He just sat there but regardless I didn’t like him being there. So this week I lied to her and said the teacher asked that doesn’t come with. Well she asked the teacher and found out my lie. This is the only time I’ve ever lied to her. After the class we went out to eat and talked about it. I asked if she was mad and she said no. Just thought it was funny because I always tell her that if someone lied to me I would stop talking to them. Then she said she’s used to people lying to her and she just won’t trust me as much in the future. I’m not one to normally lie so it won’t be hard for me to never lie again to her. But do you think she’ll be ok with me and regain my trust back to where it was ? She also said she’ll never forget this.

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Does she know the depth of your feelings toward her? Only time will tell if you can regain her trust. I know you apologized to her. Were you honest enough to tell her the reason you lied was because you are jealous of her other guy friend? I'm not sure whether that would help or make things worse. I know it is hard to have feelings for someone who does not have the same feelings for you. I would not blame you if, for self-preservation reasons, you needed to eventually distance yourself from her, especially if she starts dating someone seriously. That situation might be very difficult for you to navigate in the future.

 

I think you really need to evaluate whether you can just be friends with her without constantly feeling jealous or hurt when she pays attention to other guys.

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Well, here's a perfect example of why you don't keep orbiters around. They will try to block you seeing other guys.

 

You're wasting your time and she sees right through you. Not much chance she doesn't know you want her, and you said yourself she doesn't want you. Move on and get out of her life and find someone who wants to go out with you and stop lying. Ugh.

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Did she say she won't date you? I mean she probably will be reluctant now since she knows she lied to her. But she might soften that stance if she likes you back & you confess to lying because you were jealous.

 

What is the point of hanging around her if you want to date her & she won't date you? As you are already learning having a front row seat to her being interested in another guy is no fun for you.

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mark clemson

Agree that the real lie here is that you have feelings for her (unless you've told her). Also agree with the comment about orbiting. IF you can't have her, the sensible thing to do is move on (on the romantic side). Friendship doesn't work so well if you have real feelings for the person IMO.

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