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Cousins and wild dog issues, need advice!


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Hello, my cousins got a puppy (now it's a bigger size dog) a few months ago. My family and I visit them often and we're not dog people. Their dog is wild and jumps on us the entire visit pretty much. Every time you enter a room, sitting on the couch, go outside it jumps on you and won't get off you. It tries to lick and even play bite you. It's a golden doodle and is getting bigger. They took it to obedience school, however I think it's just worse, doesn't listen when you say sit or get down. My family and I are uncomfortable and annoyed it won't leave us alone during the visit.

 

My cousin doesn't seem to care and tells us to say hi to the dog and expects us to play and interact with her.

 

My cousins have small children and the dog bites at their shoes, ankles too.

 

The dog is not trained and my cousin seems delusional and thinks she got a lot better and is saying this when the dog is jumping on us.

 

We were outside sitting and the dog is on a leash in the backyard a really long leash so it can roam around, this was nice so the dog could be outside and we could sit and relax without the dog jumping on us. My cousin takes the dog off the leash and then goes right over to us.

The dog doesn't really see new people, my cousins only really have us over. We enjoy going over their house, playing with the kids, however this dog has become a real issue for us.

 

My cousins don't seem to care and are inconsiderate of our feelings.

 

We'll be saying she's a nice dog, however we don't want her jumping on us and messing up our clothes, tuging on them e tc. My cousins do nothing when the dog is on us.

 

Is this normal for a dog to do?

 

We're not sure what to say and we don't want to seem difficult. We visit all day about once a month and we're not saying the dog needs to be caged all day, just maybe put on a leash outside, inside they do have gates, they just don't seem to care to get the dog away from us.

 

We don't mind the dog there, just it won't leave us alone and my brother is also afraid of dogs and is really uncomfortable and upset now when we visit.

 

It's a real shame they won't train their dog and be more considerable of visitors.

 

What should we do?

 

Thanks in advance!

Edited by Spring1234
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amaysngrace

My dogs are a little frisky until they are acknowledged. They will do anything to get attention but once they have it they’re fine and then they go lay down somewhere.

 

Maybe that’s why she said to say hi. She knows her dog and is only asking for you to say his name in a nice tone.

 

But if you aren’t able to be friendly to the dog expect the same in return. At least that’s how my dogs are.

 

And if it really really bothers you, you could stop going there altogether but I suggest you just be more friendly.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Um, this is very typical puppy behavior. And most people like puppies.

 

Hopefully your cousin will continue with dog training, but until the dog is older and less frisky, just stay away if you can't enjoy it.

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RecentChange

I guess I am different.

 

I expect my animals to BEHAVE and see to it that they do. I would be mortified if one of mine was jumping all over someone!

 

Yes puppies have short attention spans and lots of energy - but behavior like this needs to be immediately and consistently corrected.

 

At this stage that would mean greeting guests on a leash - consistent “down” commands and lots of praise for keeping feet on the ground. Make it easy to be good.

 

All day visit? Some vigorous fetch or other play exercise to take the edge off and get the dog to sleep for part of the day.

 

In my eyes, this isn’t acceptable - just like kids animals need strong boundaries and consistent fair discipline. One of the worst injustices you can do for a dog is never train it properly. That’s why many end up in shelters. Training a dog to be a good citizen means it has a less stressful and happy life with people.

 

When I am out and about I often greet dogs I meet (after asking the owner). Many times I will get a warning that they jump up - umm not with me. I can be friendly and give them a happy pet - while keeping one hand on the collar with a “stiff arm” that keeps them from jumping up in my face or on me. It’s funny to see dog’s reactions. Usually it takes just two tries - attempts to jump - huh? I can’t jump. Attempts to jump second time - oh, I can’t jump - ok!!! I’ll get pets from here wag wag wag.

 

When failing to correct behavior - you are training them to engage in that behavior.

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amaysngrace

I’d take objection to anybody putting their hands on my dog in a domineering way.

 

Just saying

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CautiouslyOptimistic

RC, you sound exactly like my daughter, who is an excellent dog trainer and why our 6 year old is perfect! Our 4 month old still needs work, but she never jumps up on my daughter because she's so strict! (My daughter scolds me for "untraining" the puppy when she's at her dad's house and I'm in charge of the pup...).

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What should we do?

 

The answers you get will depend on whether posters are "dog people" or not. Since it seems you're not, take the advice with a grain of salt.

 

Can you meet the cousins at a local park until the dog is older and hopefully better trained?

 

Mr. Lucky

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The dog is very young and a bit boisterous, you know that, so go round to your cousins wearing suitable clothing to accommodate that.

NO point in fighting it, they probably love their dog jumping up on them, some people do.

It doesn't sound in the least bit aggressive, so chill out. Seems to me people who make a fuss and flap about are the ones the dog will go to, so stay calm and the dog will pick up on your calmness and leave you alone.

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If you don't like it, don't go there. It's the dog's home, not yours. They're closer to it than they are to you, in reality, as it is part of their immediate family and dearly loved.

 

You're teaching your kids to hate animals, and I don't like that one bit. Dogs are the sweetest creatures on earth.

 

I mean, I'd LOVE it if when I go visit people with little kids, they'd make them go stay chained up outside, but it's their house and their kids and if I don't like it, I just won't go. My guess is they're thinking, I wish she'd keep better control of her kids when they're over and not act so spazzy around our dog.

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Thanks so much for the replies.

 

The dog may be a puppy, however it is a nice size we're not talking about a small dog up to your knee more up.to your face when it jumps.

 

 

It's just the whole day it's on you, every time you come back from the bathroom or enter a room or just sitting there it's jumping on you.

 

 

They've had the dog since November.

 

I just don't want it play biting me and wish it would just jump when I first come and not all day.

 

I just wanted to hear other opinions if eventually the dog will stop jumping, I don't think my cousins really are training her since when she's all.over us they do nothing.

 

They know we're not dog people and are being inconsiderate of their wild dog.

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If you don't like it, don't go there. It's the dog's home, not yours. They're closer to it than they are to you, in reality, as it is part of their immediate family and dearly loved.

 

You're teaching your kids to hate animals, and I don't like that one bit. Dogs are the sweetest creatures on earth.

 

I mean, I'd LOVE it if when I go visit people with little kids, they'd make them go stay chained up outside, but it's their house and their kids and if I don't like it, I just won't go. My guess is they're thinking, I wish she'd keep better control of her kids when they're over and not act so spazzy around our dog.

 

It's not my kids, we're my parents and brother, we're all adults

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Thanks so much for the replies.

 

The dog may be a puppy, however it is a nice size we're not talking about a small dog up to your knee more up.to your face when it jumps.

 

 

It's just the whole day it's on you, every time you come back from the bathroom or enter a room or just sitting there it's jumping on you.

 

 

They've had the dog since November.

 

I just don't want it play biting me and wish it would just jump when I first come and not all day.

 

I just wanted to hear other opinions if eventually the dog will stop jumping, I don't think my cousins really are training her since when she's all.over us they do nothing.

 

They know we're not dog people and are being inconsiderate of their wild dog.

 

They like their dog better than you. It's more family than you are. You are a guest. The dog lives there. Your fear is irrational and you need to work on it. Meanwhile, stop going there if you can't tolerate a normal dog.

Edited by preraph
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RecentChange
I’d take objection to anybody putting their hands on my dog in a domineering way.

 

Just saying

 

Well I would object to allowing your dog to jump on me...

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RecentChange
RC, you sound exactly like my daughter, who is an excellent dog trainer and why our 6 year old is perfect! Our 4 month old still needs work, but she never jumps up on my daughter because she's so strict! (My daughter scolds me for "untraining" the puppy when she's at her dad's house and I'm in charge of the pup...).

 

Thanks CO - I have 30 years experience training horses. Have trained my own dogs, did 4H dog obedience as a kid, and later taught it. Back when I had Goldens we went to some obedience competitions and did well.

 

I expect all my animals to have manners. My cats know to never scratch or bite, to come when called and even how to sit. My dogs know how to be good citizens and behave around people - and my horse, she could be in the dang circus - she is very well schooled.

 

There is nothing “mean” about setting boundaries and being a leader. Many pets actually crave having a strong leader to follow. They still sleep in my bed, they still get cuddles and love, but they understand the rules due to consistency.

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I have horse training experience as well, but I believe in letting dogs be dogs, because dogs are perfect as it gets here on earth. If you have one that knocks you down, that's one thing, but I still say it's their home and their rules and that she is the one out on the edge with irrational fears.

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This response is going to go over like a lead balloon

 

 

OP, I'm like you. I'm not a dog person. I'm more of a bird nerd. This being said, if I know someone doesn't like my birds landing on them, they go into their cages when they visit. It's the polite thing to do.

 

Many people consider their dog to be their psuedochild, which is fine. The problem becomes that they don't carry that through. Just like I wouldn't allow my human children to climb all over people, now is the time to teach a puppy to behave.

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Puppies and toddlers just can't be programmed quite yet. It's a good time to start, but....you will just have to keep at it. I find that with dogs, bonding is the main thing and then they will cooperate with you unless they find a situation bad energy, which they have their own instincts about. But admittedly, that is for people who have a lot of time to spend with their dog.

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Wallysbears

I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 child and a senior citizen mother (with early stage dementia) all living in my house with my husband and I.

 

If anyone comes into my house, I can guarantee them this:

 

1. There will be fur.

2. There will be toddler toys

3. There's likely to be my mother sleeping in a chair or potentially repeating stories to you.

 

My son and my dogs will want to "greet" you when you come in. My son is going to give you a hug and want to show you toys. The dogs are liable to jump or give you a paw or well, just sit up against you and get fur on you.

 

The one cat will hide. The other acts like a dog.

 

 

Don't like it? Fine. It is my house/our house (meaning my husband and I) and you don't have to come here. We pay the mortgage, we get to say what the rules are.

 

Do my dogs behave incredibly well? Yes. 95% of the time. I've had people compliment me on them. But they get to be anxious, hyper, nervous or happy just like humans do. They are sentient beings just like humans are. And if people coming into my home don't respect that this is my home...and the people/beings/animals that live here are allowed to be "themselves" inside these 4 walls? Then don't come. It is that simple.

 

There's an entire world out there where I expect my animals and my son to be well behaved and perfect. Home is a sanctuary.

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amaysngrace
Well I would object to allowing your dog to jump on me...

 

Then don’t ask if you can pet him/her and they wouldn’t come near you. :)

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I have one who is a little like Joe Biden (pictured at left. She even looks like him) and wants to sniff and touch you, and does have bad breath. The other is really afraid of everyone in general because of seizure issues when young and that manifests under stress, so the last thing I want to do is stress her out by no-no'ing when she's even willing to come into the room with people. I was thrilled when she finally put her feet up on my best friend's chair last time she came over and wagged her tail. But I don't let the one with problems come around children unless they are teens and I know they are pet-savvy and won't get aggressive with them or pushy.

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An untrained dog is far more likely to be given up and is also harder to rehome. And frankly, I would no sooner leave a dog untrained than leave a child untrained.

 

We adopted our last dog and quickly realised that he'd never been given a day's training in his life. Cue a dog training specialist and we ended up with a very well mannered dog. The only difficult part was visitors who didn't care about being jumped on - their refusal to continue with the training rules would work to undo our training. If I did it again, I'd be a lot stricter on visitors and let them know that the dog training isn't about them, but about supporting us to have a well behaved dog.

 

Anyway - to stop a dog jumping, keep turning your back to it the dog as it jumps. If the dog goes around in front of you, then turn yourself away. When the dog stops jumping, reward it. If when you turn around, the dog starts jumping again, repeat the process.

 

If the dog nips you, the correct response is to yelp. It's dog language for Ouch. They will learn really quickly not to nip.

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I understand it's their home, however there is something called consideration and understand not everyone is a dog lover.

 

The entire visit is spent getting the dog off of us.

 

We come to socialize, eat and play with their kids. We are not here to train or get a dog to not jump on us.

 

 

The dog is a nice size and when it jumps and leans on you and darts to you suddenly it can be heavy and uncomfortable.

 

I would be having conversations and the dog just lunges at you.

 

I just think it would be nice for most of the visit to keep it in the backyard, leash it outside on it's long leash. I'm not saying put her in a cage by any means and leave it tied up all day.

 

 

I just feel bad for my brother who does have a fear of dogs and this dog is wild.

 

We enjoy visiting, however I would never let this go on in my home.

 

If it was the other way around I would respect and consider my guest's feelings and leave the dog outside when their inside, leave it on the leash which was perfect, it is a long leash so she has plenty of room to wonder the yard, I didn't even know she was on a leash.

 

Just to allow a dog to jump on your guests after they have said they don't like it is just inconsiderate and wrong.

 

It just won't leave us alone, we have greeted her, however the entire day of having a dog jump on you and lick you is annoying. It also tried to play bite.

 

We're just not comfortable simple as that and the dog just seems to get more wild and doesn't listen.

 

We just think our cousins should try to get the dog off of us.

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amaysngrace

Dogs are puppies until they’re around two years old so if you can’t handle the puppy being a puppy you may want to consider meeting up somewhere else.

 

How about your house?

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Dogs are puppies until they’re around two years old so if you can’t handle the puppy being a puppy you may want to consider meeting up somewhere else.

 

How about your house?

 

 

I understand, however how about they're considerate for the next few years and leash or put a gate up. Why should we be jumped on all day and let this puppy go wild, why can't their be training?

 

We live far from them and with their kids, it's easier for us to go to them.

 

They have all their stuff at their house and they wouldn't be able to leave their dog for any length of time.

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