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How the heck do happily married women lock down a man?


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Old 14th March 2019, 4:32 AM   #46
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You've seen women do this??? You must live in a completely different world to me. My 30yr school reunion involved me thinking about my presentation about 30 minutes before I left home.
Of course I have..I was almost shocked to see how many women were done up to such a high level...You could tell that they paid a pile of money and invested a ton of time, for their dresses, makeup, accessories, etc...

And yes..we are on the same planet, sis....I've read enough of your posts to know that you are NOT a typical woman...

And that's not a knock, btw...

TFY
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Old 14th March 2019, 5:56 AM   #47
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"Lock down" sounds like some verbiage they would use at Sing Sing or Folsom

I actually only knew Folsom as in the "street fair"... had no idea it was a prison, too!
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Old 14th March 2019, 9:17 AM   #48
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I actually only knew Folsom as in the "street fair"... had no idea it was a prison, too!
Some American you are. The place was made famous by one of Johnny Cash's best songs, and here's a video of him actually performing "Folsom Prison Blues" at San Quentin prison:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG0fS4DoGUc

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die". Most badass line in a song since 1950.
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Old 14th March 2019, 9:45 AM   #49
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How to lock someone (happily)- provide something they don't have otherwise:
-for religious people is sex that they won't have if single
-for people that were in long-term relationships is a replacement companionship
-for single dads is a new mom for their kids etc

How to lock someone (for the sake of locking) - nag nag nag. Spice up with some passive aggressiveness and take him to weddings and engagement parties. Joking obviously but obviously working strategy for ones that can't do it otherwise lol.
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Old 14th March 2019, 10:25 AM   #50
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A woman can't lock a man down. But she can find a man who chooses to stay. I agree that it's about looking for a man who is relationship minded.
Yup, and the way to get them to choose is the same for either gender... by dealing with integrity, reliability and meeting their emotional needs. It would be nearly impossible to not love a woman who sincerely expresses respect and appreciation.

The notion that it's an ongoing hotness competition is an erroneous perception. Well, there certainly are those who can't quit chasing tail, but that's not most. Don't waste your time on men who have no integrity, are not committed to monogamy, or whose primary personality feature is entitlement. And, be cognizant of what you're using as bait, because that will determine the kind you catch.

The five A's of mindful loving - Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, Attention, Allowing. ~David Richo

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Old 14th March 2019, 12:50 PM   #51
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You've seen women do this??? You must live in a completely different world to me. My 30yr school reunion involved me thinking about my presentation about 30 minutes before I left home.
You're probably so gorgeous you never give it a thought, basil!

But, yeah, I know lots of women who, as TFY writes, spend weeks/months prepping for the reunion. Esp for the decade ones 10, 20, 30, etc.!

This thread has some great tips for single women! Look good, yes, but be a good person, too!
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Old 14th March 2019, 1:31 PM   #52
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Some American you are.

Good thing I'm not....?
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Old 14th March 2019, 1:56 PM   #53
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My wife decided that it was OK for us to play with other couples and girls. So we did a few foursomes, a wife swap and then threesomes with her girlfriends until finding one that was secretly bisexual and made my wife realize that she too is bi. We stayed with that girlfriend for the next 30 years of our 47 year marriage.

This ethical non monogamy worked for us very well plus we both got to have someone else to love. Our girlfriend was treated as family long before we invited her into our bed. It was not until she got divorced and lived with us after selling her home to pay her ex his half, that it turned sexual and even then, it took 8 months and her hinting at it for it to happen.

Sounds terrible, but is it more terrible than all of our monogamous friends and siblings cheating and divorcing, having kids from two different parents and bankrupting them in the process? Serial monogamy is more acceptable than putting your marriage and each other before all else, even if that “else” is monogamy. Never a problem and never any jealousy in all those years.

We are all presented with monogamy which fails more than marriages do, with no alternatives at a time well past when marriage was structured to prevent problems that no longer exist in the age of birth control and DNA testing. No longer do women need men to protect and provide for them. No longer do men need to make sure that their mates are not carrying babies with some other man’s genes in them, making them waste their limited time and resources on passing along some other man’s genes while killing off his own.

People rather go down in the monogamy ship then seek the safety of another ship. It is cray cray that people rather cheat within the framework of a monogamous marriage than seek alternatives. We knew lots of married couples who were non monogamous either openly or simply having one of the spouses look the other way. One women I worked with had a boyfriend for 10 years of her marriage and loved her husband. Said he was a great father and provider but not the kind of man she like in bed who treated her roughly and like a “slut”. She said she would never marry the kind of guy she liked sexually and the type of guys she would marry would never treat her like she wants to be treated in bed. True story and I heard similar ones.
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Old 14th March 2019, 2:33 PM   #54
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Don't think of it as locking down. I am not in prison. They are happily married because they have the traits that make a man want to share his life with them and she chose a man she wants to share her life with.
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Old 14th March 2019, 8:12 PM   #55
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Be kind to him, and supportive. Cook good food (every man likes a nice meal cooked for him, I don't care what anybody says). Have sex with him often.

A man who has that isn't going to want to lose it, and you will get it back in spades.
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Old 14th March 2019, 11:19 PM   #56
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Be kind to him, and supportive. Cook good food (every man likes a nice meal cooked for him, I don't care what anybody says). Have sex with him often.

A man who has that isn't going to want to lose it, and you will get it back in spades.
I am happy to split the cooking back and forth, but yes. Take care of me, and be appreciative (words, actions, warmth, sex, some room to spend time with my friends a couple times a month), and I will gladly marry. In fact, I'm looking for you!

Also - when there are challenges that come up for the both of you, say "we will make it work", "we will figure it out together", "we are in this together" and mean it. I can hardly tell you what a strong effect it has had on my the VERY few times a woman has said that type of thing to me and meant it. Even though I usually work it out for the both of us, hearing this melts me. I know how rare it is, and I would gladly stay with such a partner.
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Old 16th March 2019, 11:25 AM   #57
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Be kind to him, and supportive. Cook good food (every man likes a nice meal cooked for him, I don't care what anybody says). Have sex with him often.

A man who has that isn't going to want to lose it, and you will get it back in spades.
Really?? It's been my experience that the more a woman does, the less the man does, until it's almost completely one-sided. Especially after you get married. I really believe most men get married because they don't want to "try" anymore. Dating & courting is hard work for them.

I want to know how do happily-married women keep their men "trying"???
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Old 16th March 2019, 6:57 PM   #58
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So I have to cook him dinner and give him a good bj and that’s it? Does that whole “connection” thing come into play also? Sounds impossible-there are sooo many hot women out there. How does one man choose 1 wife?
Not for nothin', but you're assuming that ALL men are capable of attracting virtually any woman they want. LOL!

Walk through any mall and take a REAL good luck at the men walking along with their wives. Most of them are plain as hell or downright unattractive, and they're NOT married to beauty queens or anything even close. So I'm not sure why you think all these men have the pick of the litter - they don't.
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Old 17th March 2019, 1:56 AM   #59
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Really?? It's been my experience that the more a woman does, the less the man does, until it's almost completely one-sided.
OB, that's a pretty jaundiced view, I'd guess there's lazy partners of both sexes. The reverse male cliche is, once you get married, she stops taking care of herself and her appearance.

Successful marriages adjust and adapt. Neither partner is the same person at 40 they were at 25, the same is true at 55. "Trying" means different things at different stages...

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Old 17th March 2019, 2:24 AM   #60
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Really?? It's been my experience that the more a woman does, the less the man does, until it's almost completely one-sided. Especially after you get married. I really believe most men get married because they don't want to "try" anymore. Dating & courting is hard work for them.

I want to know how do happily-married women keep their men "trying"???

That's the attitude that will lead you right to a life of boxed wine and cats.
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