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How the heck do happily married women lock down a man?


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Old 13th March 2019, 7:17 PM   #31
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"Lock down" sounds like some verbiage they would use at Sing Sing or Folsom
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:21 PM   #32
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First off, the dinner and a BJ idea is a good start. Just sayin.

The trick, IMO, is to be the kind of woman a guy wants to be with. These days, I see a lot of perpetually single ladies talking about how a man needs to just take them as they are, flaws and all. Well, where has that gotten those ladies? I'm not saying you should fundamentally change who you are as a person, but trying new things might not be so bad. Just find the type of guy that you wanna get with and become the woman he can't live without.
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:24 PM   #33
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First off, the dinner and a BJ idea is a good start. Just sayin.

The trick, IMO, is to be the kind of woman a guy wants to be with. These days, I see a lot of perpetually single ladies talking about how a man needs to just take them as they are, flaws and all. Well, where has that gotten those ladies? I'm not saying you should fundamentally change who you are as a person, but trying new things might not be so bad. Just find the type of guy that you wanna get with and become the woman he can't live without.
yea like wearing makeup and a miniskirt and heels on occasion
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:31 PM   #34
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Sounds impossible-there are sooo many hot women out there. How does one man choose 1 wife?
Could say the same thing in reverse - there are so many hot guys out there. How does one woman choose one husband when there are so many guys out there (and traditionally they're the ones chasing)?

Not all guys are controlled by their sex drives to the point that they'll disregard their relationship just to sleep with the hottest girl they see. In fact, most don't. Guys do fall deeply in love too, you only have to look across this forum to see as many heartbroken guys as girls when the relationship ends. Of course eyes will wander - for many guys (and girls too!) that's just nature, and I'll admit an attractive girl at the bar will grab my attention. But I choose not to approach her, because the girl I'm in a relationship with is good to me, also attractive and we are highly compatible on many levels. Why would I want to throw that away?
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:47 PM   #35
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You can't put your energy and focus into being enough for them, you have to be enough for you and then the right one will come
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Old 13th March 2019, 8:50 PM   #36
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These days, I see a lot of perpetually single ladies talking about how a man needs to just take them as they are, flaws and all. Well, where has that gotten those ladies?
It's certainly no coincidence. I suspect that these women think they are above personal growth. While we shouldn't make ourselves into someone we are not, it's important to consider whether the change is positive and would benefit us in the long run.
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Old 13th March 2019, 10:36 PM   #37
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It's certainly no coincidence. I suspect that these women think they are above personal growth. While we shouldn't make ourselves into someone we are not, it's important to consider whether the change is positive and would benefit us in the long run.
I call it "Golden Vagina Syndrome" where some women think that men should be perfect to them but they can treat their man however the hell they want because their amazing magical vaginas are reward enough. The irony of course being that any good man with a shred of self-respect would never stay with a woman who acts like this.
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Old 13th March 2019, 11:59 PM   #38
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To be fair, there are also men who think they are above personal growth - we see it here all the time. But that's for another thread....
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Old 14th March 2019, 12:21 AM   #39
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I wholeheartedly agree with you, believe me.
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Old 14th March 2019, 12:32 AM   #40
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Not to add "fuel to the fire", but less and less men are wanting to get married. Although studies vary, it appears that 23% - 25% of all males will never marry.

So for every four men you meet, that say they are open to marriage, one of them is not telling the truth.
Perhaps they are among the +/- 4% of men who identify as gay; or, don't overlook the possibility that there are a substantial number of us who no women are interested in marrying.

Interestingly, I just read an Observer article that cited this statistic: In the USA, 53% of all unmarried adults are women.

OP - you are looking at this wrong. Men and women who are marriage minded will find each other. It's not really like women are desperately trying to "lock down a man." If you're looking at it this way, I think you're probably getting in your own way.

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Old 14th March 2019, 12:47 AM   #41
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Think ultimately the "magical secret" to a long lasting relationship (ie. "locking down") is that both partners choose to remain in it. It sounds trite, but it's not - relationships can even survive death if the remaining partner chooses to remain loyal to the other's memory. Happens all the time.

Think really what you should be asking yourself is:
  • What will make someone choose to be with you in the first place?
  • What will make you choose to be with them? (i.e. the qualities you're looking for)
  • What will make them continue to choose you indefinitely?
  • And what will make you continue to choose them?

It's easier said than done, but if you can nail these things down, you'll have the LTR.
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Old 14th March 2019, 12:51 AM   #42
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But I think one of the reasons you see more women than men "dating down" in terms of looks is that those guys will usually have less(or no) options, so it's far less likely for those guys to go away....They never get the opportunity to...

TFY
You must live on a different planet than I do. I'm amazed on a daily basis at the number of abysmal looking men with hot women on their arms. In fact, I just went to my 35th high school reunion and it was remarkable how much better the women generally looked than the men. It was a big topic at our table; men and women agreed.

I am attracted to good looking women, for sure, but I can't say that it's the main feature on which to build a lasting relationship. Shoot, I was married to a beauty and her looks did nothing to hold our marriage together when it hit the skids.
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Old 14th March 2019, 3:40 AM   #43
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You must live on a different planet than I do. I'm amazed on a daily basis at the number of abysmal looking men with hot women on their arms. In fact, I just went to my 35th high school reunion and it was remarkable how much better the women generally looked than the men. It was a big topic at our table; men and women agreed.

I am attracted to good looking women, for sure, but I can't say that it's the main feature on which to build a lasting relationship. Shoot, I was married to a beauty and her looks did nothing to hold our marriage together when it hit the skids.
I think you guys are kind of saying the same thing: It's not uncommon to see a woman linked up with a guy who, superficially, is beneath her supposed level.

I see this more in the realm of serious relationships rather than casual flings, which sort of what fooloftheyear was getting at: When it's time to "settle down," a lot of women are going to trade off some the superficial perks for the assumed increased stability they expect to get from a guy who is superficially beneath them.
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:07 AM   #44
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You must live on a different planet than I do. I'm amazed on a daily basis at the number of abysmal looking men with hot women on their arms. In fact, I just went to my 35th high school reunion and it was remarkable how much better the women generally looked than the men. It was a big topic at our table; men and women agreed.

I am attracted to good looking women, for sure, but I can't say that it's the main feature on which to build a lasting relationship. Shoot, I was married to a beauty and her looks did nothing to hold our marriage together when it hit the skids.
Maybe you need an eye exam...You are making/reinforcing my point...

And another thing....Don't base anything on what you see at reunions...I saw the same thing at mine too...Take a look at those same women you saw, 6 months or a year from then..Reunions are a big deal for women...They spend months/years prepping and training for them as if its their wedding night or some shyt…Guys don't care as much...

But I stand by my previous statement....Good looking/well built guys make most women nuts....They(women) want to be seen as the "prettier" looking one of the couple...They hate it and feel insecure if the guy upstages them physically...Not to mention practically every one of her friends and other women on the street will be eyeing the guy up and wondering what he sees in her...Its hard enough for most women to have to maintain their basic looks on a daily basis, let alone to have to constantly be questioning if they are meeting the standards of some very attractive guy...Obviously not all women are like this and many are comfortable and confident enough to deal with it....Its also the reason that you practically never see a good looking guy with a dud looking woman...If you do, its more than likely that he's married and his wife let herself go and he is probably stuck now..

Guys generally don't see it the same way...They feel good if their woman is good looking or has a good body....It wont matter as much if she upstages him and guys wont be as insecure about it as women do, they'll just take it and be thankful...Other guys will nod in approval/respect....They wont be looking to steal that guys woman, like many women do to each other...

Its all this crap that makes women seek men that are beneath them in terms of physical looks for LTRs, IMO...Just look at how many women on this site complain about how they cant get satisfied in bed by their guys....Its no wonder when they start selecting guys primarily not for how they look or if they make them wet, but rather because of how stable he is, or because they don't want the insecurity of a good looking man in other aspects of life outside the bedroom..

TFY
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Old 14th March 2019, 4:28 AM   #45
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Reunions are a big deal for women...They spend months/years prepping and training for them as if its their wedding night or some shyt…
You've seen women do this??? You must live in a completely different world to me. My 30yr school reunion involved me thinking about my presentation about 30 minutes before I left home.
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