Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I have Been dating a guy for 3 months and I recently met his parents who I think liked me I'm an autistic shy person I struggle to talk to other people and I am worried about making a bad impression I'm even more worried because I had a conversation with her on Snapchat and I really screwed up Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 what were the basics of the screw-up? what subject were you discussing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 It was weird I asked her some normal stuff when I asked about school she started dodging questions so I stopped then she said what's your problem with me Idk what this means or how I caused it Other thing that may have caused it is how I'm trying to seem more popular and have lied about having tons of friends to seem more his speed could this have caused it? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 Maybe she struggled with school and is just embarrassed about it. Try not to read too much into it. The lying is bad but what’s worse is that you’re pretending to be something you’re not in order to fit in. Being you as you are is enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 I don't think being what I am is good enough I'm in a small town studying and he is basically worshipped so I don't think I am good enough really Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 He chose you to be his girlfriend so you’re obviously good enough to him, right? It’s a bad idea to put him up on a pedestal. He’s lucky to be with you as much as you’re lucky to have him. You need to gain a little more confidence, girlie. He sees good things in you...why can’t you do the same? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 I haven't tried to put him on a pedestal I'm just constantly reminded he is better than me even my own siblings said congratulations and acted like it was a miracle Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 Give all the abuse that you have been taking from the people at school who recently went to jail for the way they treated you, you have a lot on your plate. Of course you are not in the best frame of mind to put your best foot forward. Just be yourself. Shy is OK. Her brother loves you. She is pre-disposed to like. Be gracious. It will be fine. Stop stressing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 Stop stressing something I haven't been able to do recently Is it even a good idea to try and build a relationship with her or would that seem fake I feel like I haven't been chill for lk 6 months Idk why but I just start wheezing and panic a bit when I need to meet his family is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 You are going to slowly build a relationship with her. First step meet. You won't be BFFs immediately. You will be civil & polite. You are connected on social media. Let your BF set the pace of how much time you spend with his sister. For now all you have to do is get through these few hours when you meet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 I have Been asked to have lunch with them all tomorrow and I have literally been thinking all day stuff like what do I wear should I straighten my hair should I do this should I do that and I am thinking through every way it could go wrong when you had to meet your pertners family were you nervous Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 It's understandable that you are concerned about your appearance. Pick the style that suits you best that you have time to execute. If it will take a long time to straighten your hair leave it natural. When you look your best, you feel your best but your outfit also has to get you through your regular day. It's lunch with a contemporary. It's not a job interview. Go. Order something easy to eat that is not messy. Listen more then you talk. Smile. You will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 OK il do my best I am worried that isn't good enough but il try Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 (edited) No need to worry at all... I was very nervous before I met my g.f mum for the first time, kept thinking about what to say etc.. I am Autistic and shy as well we both now get along like house on fire Just be yourself order something light, listen to what they have to sell and when asked questions ask truthly. Everything will be fine where you going for lunch?? Edited February 21, 2019 by GTR King Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 (edited) It is not her you are dating, she just has a walk-on part, so smile and leave it. Learning, so to say, you now know that if a person dodges one question then the questions must be stopped, or you cause the person to poke back at you, which, sadly, took the form of "what's your problem?" She could have been nicer, and made a joke, or could have changed the subject. There is a likelihood that your boyfriend is not blind to her faults, but also loves her, so just smile and say "hi". Do not try to force anything happen, sort of thing, let them set the pace. Wear something that won't show food stain mishaps (I am a champion at messing up jumpers) a dark colour. Edited February 21, 2019 by darkmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 the lunch went OK I wore a dark red jumper over a light pink t-shirt with a black skirt his parents are OK with me his mom likes me his eldest sister and her husband like me but his other sister said hi and nothing else the whole time she also made a huge deal of sitting between me and my boyfriend Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 Am I just totally unlikeable I mean everywhere I go people hate me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 Earlier this morning something happened I went brush my teeth I collapsed in the bathroom and fainted after this I went to the doctor and he asked me if I was very emotionally stressed could this have caused that I mean all the really traumatic stuff is over Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 I'm glad you went to the doctor. Yes, everything you have been through is taking a toll. Please go talk to a campus counselor. You need an outlet. BTW, your BF is now on this site: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/678002-what-can-i-do-make-up-her Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 Wait he's on this Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 Can you delete posts Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 I'm sorry if you think less of me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 @d0nnivain I'm fine I don't have ptsd or anything I was just upset because of what happened il get over it people always do Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 @d0nnivain I'm fine I don't have ptsd or anything I was just upset because of what happened il get over it people always do If you say so. You are in charge of your health & your life. I'm just some woman on a message board. But I can't imagine anybody who would go through what you survived & not have some emotional scars from it. You can deny it all you want & it will grow worse throughout your life. Or you can address it now & have a happy healthy productive live & fulfilling relationships. The choice is yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Olivia_daviss Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 But if nothing about my life has ever gone well why would it start now also so sorry for snapping at you there I just suddenly felt incredibly angry Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts