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What do you really want?


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I think a lot of people follow a herd mentality and are not really being true to themselves. Thats why we get break ups.

 

So at this point of your life. Within the world of romantic relationships. What do you really want out of them. Do you want to have a bunch of women or men. Do you want an open relationship. Marriage. No Marriage. In a 5 yr timeframe. What would you like to happen.

 

For me at age 47. I would like a women that is 30/40 something. Single and Childless or 1 child at the most. She makes herself to be as pretty as can be. Light and easy and cheerful/playful and flirtatious. Wants and desires me in a romantic way and is affectionate and is always ups for kissing/snuggling/making out and making love a dozen times a week. Interesting conversations and laughs. No rush to have kids/marriage. Spend time with each other and also have space. Just one woman. Not a bunch.

 

Thats it. Pretty simple to me. Height/weight/Ethnicity are negotiable. With Weight. I am athletic and fit and am striving to keep healthy so I would expect her to be the same as well. A steady job as well. On her own, but if she lives with her parents, to save up for a Condo is alright as well. Lives by close. So no Long distant relationship for me. Just chilling with each other and being authentic. No problems with pets. I am not getting rid of my cat.

Edited by Mysterio
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It's good to know what you are looking for, just don't close yourself off to someone if they don't tick every box. Sometimes, the woman who turn out to be "Ms. Right" can really surprise you.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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I look at people for who they are on the inside. A man who can make me laugh and loves to laugh and is happy is a keeper. I haven't met a regular guy like that since high school though, when I was 14-16 yrs old.

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Mysterio, you say that what you want is simple, but given your age, parts of your expectation make it a very tall order. I'm your generation and I don't know any woman who would fit your description

 

You frequently talk about wanting a woman who's 30/40's who isn't in a hurry to have kids. I can't help but think you've never researched female fertility. Any woman who's in your age bracket who likes kids would likely already have them. If not, they would be wanting to have them before their fertility runs out. The women who want kids and aren't in a hurry will be likely looking for for someone who's closer to their age. ie; someone who's 15 years younger than you.

 

Makes herself up to be as pretty as can be? Again, I don't know anyone in your age bracket who does this. Sure, most of us tend to our hair and dress well enough, but the extra mile is saved for when we're doing something nice. It's actually rare enough that the woman who does go the extra mile with styling is noticeable.

 

Wanting an athletic woman isn't impossible, but what about simply wanting someone who's healthy? Again, I know many healthy women my age, but not many who are athletic.

 

Sex a dozen times a week? Yep, you may get this during the start of the relationship, but it's a rare woman who will keep this level up. Are you actually serious that you need sex nearly twice a day ongoing?

 

In short, your list is unrealistic. Of course, you can stick to it if you want, but you're going to end up single and lonely if you can't compromise.

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So at this point of your life. Within the world of romantic relationships. What do you really want out of them. Do you want to have a bunch of women or men. Do you want an open relationship. Marriage. No Marriage. In a 5 yr timeframe. What would you like to happen.

 

For me at age 47. I would like a women that is 30/40 something. Single and Childless or 1 child at the most. She makes herself to be as pretty as can be. Light and easy and cheerful/playful and flirtatious. Wants and desires me in a romantic way and is affectionate and is always ups for kissing/snuggling/making out and making love a dozen times a week. Interesting conversations and laughs. No rush to have kids/marriage. Spend time with each other and also have space.

 

So all you want a beautiful, younger, slender, seductive, extroverted, enthusiastic, intelligent, funny, insatiable, unattached and undemanding partner?

 

Dang, how'd you stay single til 47?

 

Mr. Lucky

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CautiouslyOptimistic

 

Thats it. Pretty simple to me.

 

Not at your age....especially the "in no rush to have kids part."

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I want the intimate relationship that I have with my wife. And I want us to explore and experience every bit of that intimacy that we share, for whatever time we both have in this life.

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Honestly I have never been one to postulate a bunch about the future, nor day dream about what my fantasy spouse, job, house etc is going to be like.

 

This has been true ever since I was young. There was never a dream guy, nor a list of requirements, I never fantasized about what my boyfriend should be like.

 

Instead I prefer to live very much in the present. At times in my life that has meant meeting and dating some very interesting people with absolutely no expectations.

 

If I had a check list, or some sort of timeline planned, I don’t know that I would have met my husband. When I met him he was a jock, I didn’t think I liked jocks. He perused hard, I thought I wasn’t interested in dating seriously at the time and rather imagined I would be single for a few more years.

 

My “plan” has always been to have a career that will allow me to enjoy life. Afford decent lifestyle without too much stress. I knew I never wanted children (so I guess you could say that was a hard line), but besides that, I have drifted where life and opportunities have taken me.

Edited by RecentChange
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Happy Lemming

I've done what I wanted and set out to do. I was nomadic and adventurous throughout my youth... dating a wide variety of women. I sowed my wild oats. I never got married nor had children. I'm not too picky when it comes to a woman's looks or physique. I've dated women 4' 10" to 6' 1" and 98 lbs. to 305 lbs. and everywhere in between. I stayed as long as I was having enjoying myself. Although, I would breakup with a woman (I liked) & move on when the nomadic gene in my DNA was screaming for me to uproot and travel to the next locale.

 

As I entered my late 40's, I slowed down a bit and have been in a long term relationship of 7 years with a great woman. Neither of us want to get married nor live together, but we enjoy each other quite a bit. I have what I want (for this period of my life). In 5 years, I don't expect any major changes in my life. I do think in 10 years, I may want a different home in a different area (more rural), but that is just a guess (at this point).

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In short, your list describes the Holy Grail of women. She doesn't exist.

 

Agreed.

 

I had a plan for my life. Things turned out as planned in some ways, not in others. Because that this, I’m now much more “go with the flow” and “let’s see where life takes me” than I have ever been before...

 

I have just made a job change that I hoped would bring more balance to my life. I’m tired of always feeling overworked and overwhelmed. I’ve got it good right now and want to enjoy my life a little more. I want to take time to smell the roses, as they say...

Edited by BaileyB
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My life turned out nothing like I'd planned.

 

I was never going to have kids, then I met the love of my life and he wanted them. Imagining him as a good father changed my mind.

 

I hadn't travelled much, but as I was late 20's, we decided to have kids while I was young and fertile and travel when the kids were adults. But now I'm a carer for our disabled son and I don't know how I will fit travelling in. That said, it was a wise decision to have kids young because I went into early menopause. I think I'd be very sad now if I didn't have kids because I'd prioritised travel.

 

All in all, I have a great husband and a good life.

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I want someone who is into me. ME. Not me and someone else at the same time, not me and someone more than me. ME, dammit. I don't know why but I can't seem to get this. Ever.

Edited by Fair
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Myst' in another thread l think you said you'd like intimacy 3 or 4 times a week, is it springtime over there or somem :bunny::bunny::bunny:

Anyway nope l never needed some list l'd know her when l see her although there was def' a few no no's though.

But funny, you pretty well just described my woman , maybe l better marry her eh :bunny:

Although she's also very different but then so am l and that's what l go for anyway so even better.

But she's not perfect , neither am l.

l actually didn't really think it was a list really, mostly just common sense things any good relationship has anyway.

 

But l'm wondering, what would you do if you got it all , except she didn't have a steady job, or due to something she was broke.?

Would you look after her and help her back on her feet?

Reason l ask l notice a lot of guys on here say stuff like she must be working and self supporting but in my experience when l was single after a divorce , l cam across a lot of girls that had fallen on hard times after divorce themselves . One in particular would've made the best damn gf or w you'd ever find and none of her situation was her fault just circumstances after a marriage broke up.

So would you walk away? Personally she wasn't for me so nothing came of that but not because of her circumstances , just nothing in common.

Another owned 5 houses , she liked investing , both equally great girls a man would be lucky to have but the one going through hard times was one you would for sure choose to be in your corner out of the two.

So it just goes to show.

No surprises to me .

Edited by chillii
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I want someone who is into me. ME. Not me and someone else at the same time, not me and someone more than me. ME, dammit. I don't know why but I can't seem to get this. Ever.

 

If there was ever one thing I was loathe to accept, it's that men never are just exclusively into one woman. There's lots of women who think their man is the best man, the only man for them. Never once met a man who felt that way about the woman. It was a constant disappointment to me when I was young. Makes you just feel disposable and disrespected and like no one values who you are.

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If there was ever one thing I was loathe to accept, it's that men never are just exclusively into one woman. There's lots of women who think their man is the best man, the only man for them. Never once met a man who felt that way about the woman. It was a constant disappointment to me when I was young. Makes you just feel disposable and disrespected and like no one values who you are.

 

 

 

 

Geez, that's sad , shallow men.

l need to feel that. lf she didn't make me feel that way about her l wouldn't even be with her in the first place.

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Kitty Tantrum

I've already got pretty much exactly what I want, so fingers crossed that he doesn't die suddenly or something. It took me a couple of spectacularly failed relationships to get a grip on what is actually GOOD for me and to put this list together.

 

My criteria, in no particular order:

 

- Bigger and stronger than me.

 

- ‎Traditionally masculine and a good role model for my sons (leadership, confidence, self-improvement, etc.). Does NOT subscribe to modern ideologies RE: feminism, gender equality, "toxic masculinity."

 

- ‎In overall good health/fitness. Good basic hygiene.

 

- At least reasonably handsome, with a strong preference for "rugged" over "pretty." If he spends more time/money on his grooming/appearance than I do (which isn't much), that's a big NOPE.

 

- ‎AT LEAST ten years older than me (and has to LIKE IT and not make me feel weird about it).

 

- ‎Loves to spend time outside - hiking, camping, fishing, etc. Enjoys rain and snow.

 

- ‎NOT fanatical about any sports.

 

- ‎Strong work ethic, no aversion to hard/physical/dirty jobs.

 

- ‎Good at MAKING things, fixing things, improvising, etc (smart with good hand skills).

 

- ‎Honest, kind, and HUMBLE.

 

- ‎Minimal consumer tendencies. Okay with using the same phone for 5+ years and driving an old car. Absolutely no keeping up with the Joneses.

 

- Willing and capable head-of-household. ‎Does not require me to contribute monetarily. Prefers having a dedicated homemaker over a little extra cash.

 

- ‎Has clear and solid expectations of me with regard to the relationship, housework, my appearance, etc. The higher the standards, the better (within reason).

 

- ‎Fatherly tendencies. Doesn’t HAVE to want to make any NEW babies with me, but has to be good with the two kids I've already got.

 

- Places high value/importance on family. ‎Good relationship with his own family of origin.

 

- ‎Wants to get MARRIED and build a shared legacy together, with or without shared genetics.

 

- Has to accept that I have a strong moral/philosophical/personal objection to many aspects of family law in my country; that I am VERY lenient with my ex-husband RE: child support (he pays about half of what he "owes" - and still not reliably), and that I am never going to take him to court or try to extract more money from him unless he does something REALLY crappy.

 

- ‎Not attached to fragrances. Amenable to my insistence that all soaps/detergents/lotions/etc. be absolutely fragrance-free wherever possible.

 

- ‎Not a picky eater. Enjoys simple homemade meals. Willing to eat leftovers, and sometimes kale. Can't hate bacon.

 

- ‎Compatible sense of humor. Makes me laugh, and appreciates my off-color/offensive/sarcastic sense of humor and compulsive pun-making.

 

- ‎Doesn't need me to provide an ever-escalating level of excitement and stimulation in order to maintain his interest. Doesn't expect me to grow out of being shy and boring.

 

- ‎Good at reading body language. Doesn’t assume something is wrong just because I'm quiet.

 

- ‎Enjoys spending time alone or with friends/family/people who are not me. Understands and accepts my occasional craving for absolute solitude.

 

- ‎Wants sex at least MOST days and doesn't mind doing most of the initiating.

 

- ‎Enjoys lots of touching/cuddling/physical affection with or without sex.

 

- ‎Not a gambler. Doesn't smoke cigarettes (occasional cigar is A-OK). No addictions or substance abuse issues (I'll make an exception for coffee; if he loves a perfectly pulled shot of espresso, that's a plus).

 

- ‎Likes to read books.

 

- Capable of deep thought, intellectual conversation, logical argumentation, etc. - BUT, doesn't try to drag me into it too often. Especially with regard to politics. Ew, politics.

 

- ‎Not glued to or dependent on his phone/computer/television or any other mass-media propaganda delivery device.

 

- ‎Believes in God.

 

- ‎Good driver. Likes being THE driver. Rarely asks me to drive and only with good reason.

 

- ‎Not afraid of telling me NO.

 

- ‎Encourages and supports me in my pursuit of productive hobbies (writing, sewing, shoemaking, etc.).

 

- ‎Gets on reasonably well with my family, especially my dad.

 

- ‎AGREES WITH ME when I observe that I am getting fat. Encourages me to DO SOMETHING about it instead of trying to coddle my feelings (but not in a mean-spirited way).

 

- ‎Would never ever EVER want to share me, or tolerate sharing me with other men, for any reason. Hard to believe I have to specify that, but experience has been a harsh teacher.

 

----------

 

I guess that's a pretty long list, but I don't think it's too horribly impractical. I'd have a hard time compromising on any of those points. Especially... all of them.

 

It's as much about him being able to tolerate ME as it is about him measuring up to my standards. I'm all about pleasing my man, but there are plenty of things about me that I simply cannot or will not change. At my age and with the experience I've had, I can pretty comfortably say I'd rather grow old and die alone than with someone who wishes I was a substantially different person.

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If there was ever one thing I was loathe to accept, it's that men never are just exclusively into one woman. There's lots of women who think their man is the best man, the only man for them. Never once met a man who felt that way about the woman. It was a constant disappointment to me when I was young. Makes you just feel disposable and disrespected and like no one values who you are.

 

Well I certainly feel that way about my wife. She really is the only woman for me and I mean that 100%.

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I guess that's a pretty long list, but I don't think it's too horribly impractical.

 

I think you and Mysterio were made for each other!

 

At least list-wise ;) ...

 

Mr. Lucky

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LOL!!! :lmao: Sorry I couldn't help. That's utterly unrealistic. I can say I am most of the things you mentioned, but the below is simply delusional.

 

No rush to have kids/marriage.
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The Dude Abides
If there was ever one thing I was loathe to accept, it's that men never are just exclusively into one woman. There's lots of women who think their man is the best man, the only man for them. Never once met a man who felt that way about the woman. It was a constant disappointment to me when I was young. Makes you just feel disposable and disrespected and like no one values who you are.

 

Hello Preraph

 

Sorry you never met a man who would treat you the way you deserved. :(

 

I tell Mrs Dude Abides that she doesn't have to worry about me running around because she gets all my focus and I have no time to try to please another woman. I tell her it's a full time job keeping one woman happy and I do my job well :D. LOL

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The Dude Abides
So all you want a beautiful, younger, slender, seductive, extroverted, enthusiastic, intelligent, funny, insatiable, unattached and undemanding partner?

 

Dang, how'd you stay single til 47?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

LOL :lmao:

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