LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

What do you really want?


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree57Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 22nd February 2019, 2:49 PM   #31
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 216
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dude Abides View Post
No fanaticism about sports is OK with me, although can I convince you that baseball is worthy of obsession? Opening Day isn't far off.
Baseball is the only sport I kinda sorta understand, so I have a higher tolerance for it than, say, football. My ex-boyfriend tried explaining football to me on several occasions (as have a handful of other people), and I just DON'T GET IT. It grinds my gears because I'm SMART (like, consistently around 99th percentile). I learn most things pretty quickly. But trying to make sense of football or sports like it (soccer, hockey, etc.) makes my brain hurt. Baseball is less chaotic, but STILL hard for me to follow. I wouldn't complain if my fiance enjoyed watching or playing a sport regularly/semi-regularly, but I could never handle it being a huge part of our lives the way it is for some people. Like having a bunch of people over to watch a game, or tailgating, or going out to sports bars a lot. Nope nope NOPE!

I'll own up to the fact that this might have a lot to do with me not being able to handle being the "dumbest" person in a group.
Kitty Tantrum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 3:03 PM   #32
Established Member
 
Elswyth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 26,861
I can't imagine having a laundry list like that for a partner, lol. Imagine if a woman wrote something like this:


Quote:
I am 47 but I want a guy who is in his 30s. Must be ready to propose within 2 months. Preferably 6'5" and above but can do with just 6'. Should earn at least $200k a year. Very romantic and wants to take me out on dates dozens of times a week. Buys me flowers every few days or so. That's it. pretty simple to me.
__________________
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
Elswyth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 3:16 PM   #33
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 179
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty Tantrum View Post
Baseball is the only sport I kinda sorta understand, so I have a higher tolerance for it than, say, football. My ex-boyfriend tried explaining football to me on several occasions (as have a handful of other people), and I just DON'T GET IT.

I'll own up to the fact that this might have a lot to do with me not being able to handle being the "dumbest" person in a group.
OK, so it sounds as if I have a chance to get you going with baseball It really is a big chess match. Every action on the field or the dugout or the bullpen has an equal / opposite reaction for the other team. Folks who say it's boring just aren't catching what is going on. . OK I will stop now before everyone tells me to shut up LOL.

If it makes you feel any better, I played football for years but long ago lost all interest in the sport. I don't watch more than a few minutes of NFL all season.
The Dude Abides is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 7:36 PM   #34
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 13,413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elswyth View Post
I want a guy who is in his 30s. Must be ready to propose within 2 months. Preferably 6'5" and above but can do with just 6'. Should earn at least $200k a year. Very romantic and wants to take me out on dates dozens of times a week. Buys me flowers every few days or so. That's it. pretty simple to me.
I'm sorry Elswyth, I'm already taken...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 8:18 PM   #35
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elswyth View Post
I can't imagine having a laundry list like that for a partner, lol. Imagine if a woman wrote something like this:








But alas , they do all the time , go see the thread about the guy in LA looking for a women.
l saw it here a lot on date sites too , and the weirdest thing was they were often by ugly women, go figure.
chillii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 10:34 PM   #36
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 35,347
Mysterio with all those criteria you're going to have a real tough time finding someone. Instead pick 3 or 4 things that are MUST HAVES and concentrate on finding a girl with those charesteristics
__________________
"Alright, we'll call it a draw..."

- Monty Python
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd February 2019, 11:37 PM   #37
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: God save the Queen.
Posts: 1,588
It's terribly saddening for me to go to the New Orleans Mardi Gras parade and not be able to land a single date. I feel like a 40 year old woman who feels invisible. I just want to be able to meet someone who values my life skills again, and can share an intellectual connection with me. Onwards back home, keep on chugging.
Garcon1986 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 12:49 AM   #38
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 13,413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garcon1986 View Post
I just want to be able to meet someone who can...share an intellectual connection with me.
At Mardi Gras, Garcon? Seems like the right idea but wrong place...

Mr. Lucky
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 12:59 AM   #39
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: God save the Queen.
Posts: 1,588
Right I really don't fit in at the Mardi gras central
Garcon1986 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 5:17 PM   #40
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,367
Here is how I view my life. I would like to have a stable love relationship with a woman. I am 47. I feel like I have to be reasonably methodical about my choices. Just looking at everything from my side of life.

So I have refined my list and have to look at the following.

She has to be Single/Widowed/Divroced. Not Separated. I just see too many people being separated having issues with ex's. I don't want that.

1 child or childless is reasonable. I can't imagine being with a woman that has 4 kids. My buddy BD has an ex wife that has 4 kids. 2 with him. 2 with the guy she left him for. She is now on guy # 5 and they got divorce 11 yrs ago. BD was her second husband. A lot of us both men and women, have to be careful of who we end up with. Better to have out eyes/ears open to whats going on.

The woman I think would be a good fit for me age wise is 35+. If we click and meet each others family and are steady for 2 yrs. Of course I will be open to marriage and kids. I think 1 would be good. I just don't see myself as having a whole bunch of kids at age 47 soon to be 48 in March.

As dar as the physical stuff. I am not expecting sex everyday. I just say that 2 times a week of physical intimacy would be nice. Or however it works out. I need a lot of physical affection to feel close. I don't want to go 17 weeks with out kissing and making love. I want a great relationship. Not perfect, but good that we can weather storms and life each other beyond the romantic haze of being a couple.

Live in my city. What I think is at least aim high and not get so set in my ways is the best option.
Mysterio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 5:23 PM   #41
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,367
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
Mysterio with all those criteria you're going to have a real tough time finding someone. Instead pick 3 or 4 things that are MUST HAVES and concentrate on finding a girl with those charesteristics
My must haves have to be broken down.

Single/Affectionate towards me/Health conscious and into Music in terms of going to music outing. I like to see a lot bands. So sitting around a TV is not my thing.

Summing it up again. We are affectionate towards each other. We got to Music concerts together. Interesting conversations/Laughs. Keep in shape/health conscious support towards each other. Financially stable.

I think thats all I want. Nothing more than that. I just feel that If I let my lust hormones carry me away. I might end up in a bad situation. At 47 I have to win its my only option. I feel like I am deserving of something great, as I do of all of you.
Mysterio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 5:35 PM   #42
Established Member
 
alphamale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, MI :lmao:
Posts: 35,347
so much for being less picky the older you get
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 6:00 PM   #43
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 11,778
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
The woman I think would be a good fit for me age wise is 35+. If we click and meet each others family and are steady for 2 yrs. Of course I will be open to marriage and kids. I think 1 would be good.
A woman of this age who will agree to this timeline is likely to not want kids. Because a woman who wants kids will already have them or be in a rush to have them. Are you OK with no kids?
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 6:16 PM   #44
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 216
Mysterio: I think the biggest issue with your list, as others have pointed out, is the age/kids thing.

If you know that you want children AND that you don't want them right away, it makes a lot more sense to look for women under 30.

Women over 30 who don't already have children, or who only have one, are not likely to be patient about having more. Their fertility is already on the decline at that point, and they know that. They also most likely don't want to have their kids really far apart in age, and they don't want to be pregnant when they're OLD.

Looking for a woman who is 35+ and then putting off having kids for 2+ years is setting yourself up to either not have children at all, or to have children who are born with disabilities. Advanced maternal age also increases the various risks to the mother during pregnancy and childbirth. Childless women seem to be statistically more likely to suffer complications with advanced age than women who have already had at least one successful pregnancy.

Unless you find a woman in remarkably good health AND with a family history of healthy childbearing in later age, it's quite a gamble.

If you're cool either way - with having kids eventually, or not - then I guess I'd just advise you to be careful in how you present that. It's cruel to dangle the possibility of having children in front of a woman who is rapidly running out of time to have them if you're wishy-washy about your own desire and timeline.

At 47, you have a lot more time to make up your mind and take action toward building a family than a 35 year old woman does. You could go through several such women, entering into 1-2 year relationships with each of them and breaking it off for whatever reason - and still go on to find a woman to build a family with. For all of those previous women, however, the time THEY put into those relationships with you might have been their last shot.
Kitty Tantrum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2019, 6:19 PM   #45
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterio View Post
My must haves have to be broken down.

Single/Affectionate towards me/Health conscious and into Music in terms of going to music outing. I like to see a lot bands. So sitting around a TV is not my thing.

Summing it up again. We are affectionate towards each other. We got to Music concerts together. Interesting conversations/Laughs. Keep in shape/health conscious support towards each other. Financially stable.

I think thats all I want. Nothing more than that. I just feel that If I let my lust hormones carry me away. I might end up in a bad situation. At 47 I have to win its my only option. I feel like I am deserving of something great, as I do of all of you.



Haaaa yeah, the kids thing. l was the same l only have one daughter and ex and l work together ok , and that's all l was accepting in something new too, for many many reasons.
You don't even have any kids or ex's for her to deal with at all so absolutely nothing wrong with that.
My worst fear was l might fall in love with someone but she also just happens to have a herd of kids and ex's, then l'd be stuck.
So l made damn sure straight up , any more that 1 kid and ex in the picture, l don't care who she was, l'd keep on walkin right there .
Luckily l discovered there was actually plenty of women out there anyway with no or 1 child so it wasn't a problem at all.

The rest of your stuff there on this one is just stuff anyone would hope for in any decent relationship , wish you the best of luck.

Last edited by chillii; 23rd February 2019 at 6:24 PM..
chillii is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Really, really, really want to contact him. AnyaNova Coping 13 22nd September 2013 9:06 PM
Does he really want to be friends? WHAT DOES HE REALLY WANT? simplisticlycomplex Breaks and Breaking Up 3 2nd August 2013 12:36 AM
Guys, if you really, REALLY, *REALLY* want to get taller... Imajerk17 Dating 6 24th February 2012 9:07 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 6:53 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.