Norman07 Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 This is speaking mostly for myself. I have been thinking that I really don't need to worry about finding a girlfriend. What can a girlfriend provide me with that I'm not already getting on my own? I'm sure that the one answer that crosses most men's minds is sex. I know that sex is not all a relationship is about but it is pretty important. A relationship without sex is really no different than a close friendship. No need to find a girlfriend for any nonsexual benefits when I can just make friends. Therefore it should not matter whether a woman friendzones me or not. The sex benefit does not mean that much to me. Why? Because in my past relationships I never found sexual satisfaction. I could not attain an orgasm during sex. My ability to be sexually excited got worse. With the last girlfriend I could not even hold an erection long enough to put the condom on. It was at that point I decided it is time to give up on girlfriends and just take my interactions with women no further than casually dating. I also think that in my case a long distance relationship works for me since I have no interest in meeting her in person. The only way I get sexually satisfied is from masturbation and spicing it up by looking at lesbian pornography. Therefore it is not going to bother me that much if I had a girlfriend and she took sex away from me because I gained weight. I realize if a man is not all that bothered about losing sex privileges from his girlfriend or wife then there's no reason for him to get married or find girlfrirend in the first place. Am I missing something here? Most of the advice on this board is good about how to increase chances of a successful relationship but I don't think it applies to rare breeds like myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Ideally I would love to have a GF that desires sex from me and wants to do that for me as well. I actually desire it. I don't need a bunch of women. Just one. I prefer it that way. I just can't understand why its not in my life as much. Its like make an effort, nothing really works. Don't make an effort. When it comes. At least for a while, I get my way so to speak affection wise. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Some people are just asexual. You may be one of them. If the lack of sex in your life isn't bothering you & you are fine with friendships only. Have friendships. Since you have no desire to meet an LDR partner in person do disclose that up front in your search; you don't want to cruelly give somebody false hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Norman07 Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 Some people are just asexual. You may be one of them. If the lack of sex in your life isn't bothering you & you are fine with friendships only. Have friendships. Since you have no desire to meet an LDR partner in person do disclose that up front in your search; you don't want to cruelly give somebody false hope. Oh I have. I've been pen pals with this one woman for 7 years. It works for both of us. I think both of our interest levels are low like 55%. We're just using each other for emotional needs. Sometimes I am pen pals with 4 or 5 women at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Some people are asexual. My oldest daughter identifies as such. She has lots of female-male friendships, and enjoys "romance", but for her, sex is not something she has any interest. It's not related to what's going on in her life, it's just the way she is. What made a big difference for her was recognizing this and not trying to fit into some mold of what society says she should be. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 Oh I have. I've been pen pals with this one woman for 7 years. It works for both of us. I think both of our interest levels are low like 55%. We're just using each other for emotional needs. Sometimes I am pen pals with 4 or 5 women at a time. This would be highly unusual behavior for just about all heterosexual men... I'd agree with the others that maybe you have some gender/sexual ambiguity, but I am not qualified to make a judgement on it, just going by what you posted... Not sure what the real question is... Are you happy? If so, great.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
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