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Is it weird to feel bad for an ex?


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My ex broke up with me almost a year ago. We only dated two months, and she completely broke my heart and has really treated me like crap since. She does a lot of the push-pull and hot-cold towards how she acts towards me. Anyway, I saw her last Saturday to help her out with something and ever since then I just can't help but feel sorry for her.

 

She has a pretty rough life, and definitely deals with depression like myself. After seeing her last week, I saw where she lived for the first time, and it was just a tiny 12x12 room with no access to any other parts of the house, and it made me sad. In addition I saw on Valentines Day she was home alone so I messaged her Valentines Day because I felt bad for her again. I know she is unhappy in life and I wish I could help her but I don't know how.

 

I honestly don't have those feelings I once had for her, but I wish I could bring some happiness to her life. I was thinking of asking her to dinner and maybe just having a good time but I don't know if I want to go down that road.

 

I guess I'm just wondering, has anyone ever felt sorry for their ex, specifically one who crushed their heart and treated them like crap?

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thefooloftheyear

Most people that have their heart crushed and get treated like crap, move on with their lives and don't bother with that other person....Not that they aren't compassionate people, just that those that hurt them now become "strangers" that no longer mean anything that much....So then they really wouldn't know what type of misfortune that other person has..Its not like its your family, where you are blood related.. Before you met her, she was no more than a face in the crowd to you...

 

If I were you, I would wish her well then move on with your life...You are just continuing the heartbreak for no real reason...Especially the fact that you only dated for two months., .How much of a legacy do you really have??I am sure she will be just fine without you....Remember she ditched you...

 

TFY

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Were you two real close? Did you go out a lot? Why was she so ugly to you? I wouldn't worry about it to much unless you really want to just be her friend. She sounds like she needs a friend even if she doesn't deserve you as one. It's up to you how to proceed.

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You are a compassionate person, who can see other's suffering. Never feel bad for being kind.

 

Also coming around to compassion is also a sign that you have forgiven somebody who previously hurt you. It's a sign of emotional growth.

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Were you two real close? Did you go out a lot? Why was she so ugly to you? I wouldn't worry about it to much unless you really want to just be her friend. She sounds like she needs a friend even if she doesn't deserve you as one. It's up to you how to proceed.

 

Yes we were extremely close. Talked nonstop from the day we met to a couple months after our breakup. We were literally each other’s only real friend. We went out about 2-3 times a week but it was always very loving. The reason she was so crappy towards me is because she has a history of bad relationships so I think when she met a guy who treated her so well she got scared. I then became really needed trying to win her back which pissed her off

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You are a compassionate person, who can see other's suffering. Never feel bad for being kind.

 

Also coming around to compassion is also a sign that you have forgiven somebody who previously hurt you. It's a sign of emotional growth.

 

It is true I feel I have forgiven her. But I don’t know how to deal with the sadness I feel for her.

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You recognize it as compassion. If there is a concrete thing you can do to help her that you want to do & she is open to receiving it from you (she may not want your help), do that. Otherwise, there is nothing you can do. Pray if that is within your faith.

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