MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Do you find it takes you a long time to like a guy (or if you're a guy, a girl), and to develop feelings for him? And if so, do you find guys are not willing to wait and just be friends and develop the relationship you do have? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Hello MF I have had two genuine loves in my life. The first was a beautiful gal while I was in college, and for both of us it was the proverbial "love at first sight". If not for parental meddling, I am quite sure she would have been "the one". The second was/is Mrs Dude Abides , and for us it wasn't "love at first sight", but it was pretty quick otherwise. I recall I was completely knocked off my game with her, pretty much from the first few dates. To respond to your question, I am sure that for both these women, I would have waited a long time if they had needed a long time to develop serious feeling for me. I was smitten and would have suffered the whole time if they had been slow. Thinking back to my younger days, I don't think many of my buddies practiced much patience. If a gal wasn't interested they usually seemed stomach move on (as best as I can recall). Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Do you find it takes you a long time to like a guy (or if you're a guy, a girl), and to develop feelings for him? And if so, do you find guys are not willing to wait and just be friends and develop the relationship you do have? What do you consider a long time? What do you mean by feelings? I can 'like' a man very quickly, from the first date. After the date I can't stop thinking about him, and I'm excited to see him again. It sometimes takes a while for the feelings to kick in, 'love' and stronger feelings, say a few months. I don't really know when the feelings are there, but it's more that I come to acknowledge them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 To respond to your question, I am sure that for both these women, I would have waited a long time if they had needed a long time to develop serious feeling for me. I was smitten and would have suffered the whole time if they had been slow. Thanks The Dude Abides. So how long do you think you would've waited? And would you have needed them to tell you that they needed time, or would you have waited anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 What do you consider a long time? What do you mean by feelings? I can 'like' a man very quickly, from the first date. After the date I can't stop thinking about him, and I'm excited to see him again. It sometimes takes a while for the feelings to kick in, 'love' and stronger feelings, say a few months. I don't really know when the feelings are there, but it's more that I come to acknowledge them. A long time as in nearly a year. When you say, "I can 'like' a man very quickly, from the first date. After the date I can't stop thinking about him, and I'm excited to see him again." , can those feelings ever take months? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Hi mf. lt's not that l wouldn't wait matter of fact l waited 2 yrs for someone and so did she me, But for feelings to grow, nah. l knew straight away with her and same with my ex w back when, and so did they me. Of course they grow even more hopefully but they should already be there to start too. That wasn't why we had to wait 2 yrs . So me , if she wasn't feeling it day one no l wouldn't wait for feelings because l'd say there'd be something wrong and l would be interested in someone iffy about me/us. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 A long time as in nearly a year. When you say, "I can 'like' a man very quickly, from the first date. After the date I can't stop thinking about him, and I'm excited to see him again." , can those feelings ever take months? No, it has never been that long for me. Either for a guy to develop feelings for me, or vice versa. If a man needed that long to decide if he had feelings for me, I would conclude he did not and it's better for me to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 ps. btw sorry, that was meant to say l "wouldn't" be interested . Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 When I met my current Girlfriend (Been dating nearly 4 months) It took me about 2 dates to fancy her. 1st Date Bowling liked her enough for 2nd date 2nd Date she just wowed me 3rd date we became official... So it depends on the person. You can like the straight after the first date or it can be 2-3 date or more Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Everyone is different. For me it's attraction right off the bat. I tried the "Maybe I will develop feelings for them". Never worked and it broke hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
The Dude Abides Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Thanks The Dude Abides. So how long do you think you would've waited? And would you have needed them to tell you that they needed time, or would you have waited anyway? MF, It's hard to say because this was a long time ago. But I would guess that, as smitten as I was, I wouldn't have been able get through daily life activities:eek: if these ladies hadn't given me the idea that romantic good times were ahead. IOW, if I had no idea from them that they needed time to let things develop, I am certain I would have been out of my mind with uncertainty and a thousand other emotions. Back in my youth this is what we called "a basket case". LOL. And I would have been one. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 It doesn't take me longer than two or three times of being around each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Either you are attracted to someone or you are not. There is no in between... Pretty simple 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 Isn't there such a thing as attraction developing after friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Isn't there such a thing as attraction developing after friendship? Sometimes, I suppose. Is this guy your friend? Has he given you any indication he feels more strongly for you? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Popular opinion seems to be that women can develop attraction over time (although I've never had that experience), but men either feel it right up front or not at all. Who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 Sometimes, I suppose. Is this guy your friend? Has he given you any indication he feels more strongly for you? This guy is no longer in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Isn't there such a thing as attraction developing after friendship? It can happen but it is probably a very small percentage. If you are depending on that to happen it could be a long and disappointing wait. When you are friends with someone first getting it to be romantic has so many pitfalls, reasons, and excuses from the people involved it rarely ever happens. I would not go down this road looking for romance it is usually a losing plan. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 If you're talking about "feelings" and not just attraction. Generally speaking, when it comes to feelings, men are like light switches and women are like a volume knob. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 17, 2019 Author Share Posted February 17, 2019 Generally speaking, when it comes to feelings, men are like light switches and women are like a volume knob. Truth in that. ^ "If you're talking about "feelings" and not just attraction." - both. Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_daviss Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 I personally find that I don't trust a guy in person for a while but when we arent face to face im more willing to open up if a guy isn't willing to go slow for you don't bother with him if he isn't willing to try to be good to you he isn't worth it Link to post Share on other sites
Olivia_daviss Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 If he doesn't stay interested early on he won't stay interested long term Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Yes and yes Link to post Share on other sites
Alice82 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Hmmm...well the old fable says that slow and steady win's the race. Old dude up top seems to concur with his current situation bringing him everything he wanted. Let's toast to all of us finding such happiness in love too! Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 Yes and yes Yay ------ Link to post Share on other sites
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