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Is this my gut or paranoia?


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theunusualdice95

I have been with my OH for over 5 years now. We are engaged and I thought we were happy! We live together, have a cat together, haha our little fur baby! Etc etc. However there has been a long history of cheating from his end. From the first few months we were together, to now, he has cheated. However before I explain, I went to meet a man after Christmas last year to in a way “get him back” and it worked. He found out the same day I went to meet him and all hell broke loose. Since then, we have been okay.. working through it all. There has been no issues until last week.

 

He told me he was working late last Tuesday and came home at about 8:30. I had rung him previously to this asking what he would like me to cook him and he was sounding all sorts of weird on the phone so when he came in I asked if everything was ok. He was still acting very suspicious and I already just had a gut instinct telling me he had been with a girl. Now, after about what felt like hours pressing him as I knew what had happened he came clean but told me he had only been meeting her as a friend as he had been so down and upset about what I had done to him at Christmas that he needed someone to talk to. However it then transpired that he had been meeting her for weeks on and off.. saying he was at one place when he was with her. Even when he went bowling with some work mates lately, he met her on that night too. Now I cleared up any confusion about it with her (or so I think so unless she has copied his lying tactics). For the story I’m about to tell, her hair colour is very relavent - she is blonde.

 

So we dealt with that but I felt as though my trust had been broken again. I knew they had been seeing each other for drinks and stuff as friends however it was still hard as he had lied to me.

 

With all of that being water under the bridge we decided to carry on until last night. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and he told me the same thing that he would be working late which was fine!

 

He came home to a nice cooked meal, table set, music and candles on and when he came to say hello to me, he had a long blonde hair quite wrapped up in his beard. I pulled it out and looked at him and asked him where it had come from - I was once blonde years ago naturally and I now have very dark brown/black hair which is long but very clearly not blonde/white! He went slightly red and didn’t look me in the eye.. acted shifty and then said “oh I don’t know where that came from?” And then changed the subject very quickly after. I let it go because it was Valentine’s Day and he had brought me flowers and some chocolate.

 

Now for those of you who think this is a toxic relationship, we have decided to work through our issues as we are great together. Everyone says it. But what do you all think? When I asked the girl last night, who he had previously been meeting as a “friend” she told me she had been at her friends house all day. Is she lying to cover it up? Should I question him a little more later or over the weekend? My gut is telling me something is very off. Oh and a plus note, for the rest of the evening when I picked up his phone, his eyes shot at me and he always wanted to see what I was doing on it. For the past week he has been constantly online on WhatsApp. But no new messages appear when opening it to see the chats.

 

I really need your advice as I believe he is hiding something here. My gut hasn’t been wrong before. :(

What do you all think? Just to save me from going insan!

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You don't need our advice, really. That blond hair might as well have been bow tied around his D*ck... of course he is cheating. But this should be no surprise to you given his history. If you are looking for advice, dump the chump. No marriage, no children, no ties that can't be severed... consider you will get off lucky.

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You as a couple are not dealing with or working on anything.

He is going along in his own merry way cheating and doing as he pleases, and YOU are tying yourself in knots trying to be OK with it.

Stop it.

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<snip>My gut is telling me something is very off. Oh and a plus note, for the rest of the evening when I picked up his phone, his eyes shot at me and he always wanted to see what I was doing on it. For the past week he has been constantly online on WhatsApp. But no new messages appear when opening it to see the chats.

 

I really need your advice as I believe he is hiding something here. My gut hasn’t been wrong before. :(

What do you all think? Just to save me from going insan!

 

Um, that's not your gut. That's the blonde hair stuck in your bf's beard.

 

There is just no good reason to stay in this relationship.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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I have been with my OH for over 5 years now. We are engaged and I thought we were happy!

 

If you thought the two of you were happy, how do you explain "a long history of cheating from his end. From the first few months we were together, to now, he has cheated"?

 

If that's contentment, hate to see what he'd do when he was dissatisfied...

 

Mr. Lucky

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I let it go because it was Valentine’s Day and he had brought me flowers and some chocolate.

 

Well, if that’s all it takes... he’s got it pretty easy.

 

 

Now for those of you who think this is a toxic relationship, we have decided to work through our issues as we are great together.

 

Sure, you are great together... except, when one of you is sleeping with someone else.

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