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Lots of people rebound


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Society tells us that rebounding (i.e. jumping into another relationship right after you've ended the previous one) is BAD, and that it's even worse to be a person who is involved with someone who is rebounding. You don't want to be on the receiving end of someone who has just had a breakup.

 

Except that it happens every day. Rebounding that is.

 

People are hooking up with people who just had a breakup all the time.

 

I'd argue that most of the people who over 30 and NEW to signing up for a dating app are probably just out of a relationship or still in one. The breakup or the coming of a breakup is what causes them to sign up. They don't want to be alone and have to fix their situation ASAP.

 

And we've all seen very desirable people jump from one person to another. Before the iron gets a chance to even cool off it's back into the fire. And they might even have a line of people who are dying to be with them waiting for them to be single so they can have a chance.

 

My point is, why do we go around saying that rebounding is so bad when it happens everyday? Nobody's listening!

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Society tells us that rebounding (i.e. jumping into another relationship right after you've ended the previous one) is BAD, and that it's even worse to be a person who is involved with someone who is rebounding.

It's not just society that tells us that, it's many people's experience and common sense. It's like saying don't eat a laundry pod, it'll make you ill! But many people still did it.

 

My point is, why do we go around saying that rebounding is so bad when it happens everyday? Nobody's listening!

You answer your own question:

They don't want to be alone and have to fix their situation ASAP.

Their desire to not be alone is greater than their logical thinking process that rebounding is bad.

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Rebounding is bad, but IMO not every relationship that occurred shortly after another one is a rebound. Rebounds happen when the person is desperate not to ever be single and hitches up with the very first willing person they meet. So sometimes this does happen shortly after a relationship, yes.

 

 

 

But some people who are out of relationships just happen to meet someone whom they really get along with - I don't see why they need to deny themselves a potentially great R just because they hadn't yet been single for [insert arbitrary time here].

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Dumpees tend to rebound.

Dumpers just move on as they are usually long finished with the relationship before the split, so they are ready for the next one.

Their next relationship has as much chance of being successful as any other.

 

The dumpee is often blindsided and grieving and so grabs the first person to come along to make them feel better... they are often no-where nearly ready to date again and so the relationship is often doomed to fail.

The poor rebound often gets very hurt as they were quickly slotted into a position of deep love and care, to find it was all a sham.

Their new found "true love" was just not over his/her ex... and they were just a poor substitute...

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somanymistakes

My point is, why do we go around saying that rebounding is so bad when it happens everyday? Nobody's listening!

 

We go around telling people to obey the speed limit even though speeding happens every day too. We try to remind people what is and isn't a good idea. But not everyone listens.

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I have been dumped abruptly in the past. It's embarrassing to admit but one of the first things I did was reach out to a different ex.

 

I didn't want him physically in the least. Emotionally? Even less! I asked a friend why she thought I would do this and she thinks it's because you feel ugly and lonely when dumped and you want the comfort and assurance you are still attractive and worthy. And the distraction too.

 

I think this is true for rebounds.

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Dumpees tend to rebound.

Dumpers just move on as they are usually long finished with the relationship before the split, so they are ready for the next one.

Their next relationship has as much chance of being successful as any other.

 

 

Hmm, good point. I never thought about it that way, but this does make sense, and correlates with my observation/experience.

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