Tmaag14 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Me and my girlfriend dated for a little over 3 years and I had felt like we were drifting apart. I asked her about it and she had told me she felt like she found someone that could treat her better than I did. I took this as motivation to better myself and our relationship but about two week later I found out that she was having sexual relations with one of my friends. When I found out I asked her about it and she lied about it even though I knew everything and it took her multiple chances to finally make the stories match up. I decided that we should go on a break and during this break I talked to my friends about it and they helped me realize the bad things in our relationship that I never could see. She didn’t let me hang out with my friends. I couldn’t talk to anybody of the opposite gender. Everything was my fault and I let it be. She didn’t like my family. She was mean to a lot of people. So I then decided that it should be more of a break and that we should see other people because we had only ever been with eachother. (except for when she cheated on me) I started talking to this new girl and she is so much nicer and we connect a lot better. I feel like it is unfair to this new girl if we date and I still miss and think about my ex and I also have thought about getting back together with my ex because I can tell she really believes that she made a mistake and that she needs to fix it and won’t be happy if she doesn’t. She says things will be different this time around and when I ask how she says she just feels it. Reading all of this I don’t understand why I want to get back together with her but I can’t help how I feel. I guess my question is would it be worth going back with my ex and stop talking to this new girl or should I just try to forget about my ex and build a relationship with the new girl. I feel like in either situation somebody is gonna get hurt and I am going to have some sort of regret. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Dating is a tryout. She failed the test. Don't go on a fools errand. The capability to lie and cheat is there. Why go back for seconds? Stick with the other girl. You don't owe your X a thing. Except to be grateful you didn't end up marrying her. She showed you who she is. Believe her Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Me and my girlfriend dated for a little over 3 years and I had felt like we were drifting apart. I asked her about it and she had told me she felt like she found someone that could treat her better than I did. I took this as motivation to better myself and our relationship but about two week later I found out that she was having sexual relations with one of my friends. When I found out I asked her about it and she lied about it even though I knew everything and it took her multiple chances to finally make the stories match up. I decided that we should go on a break and during this break I talked to my friends about it and they helped me realize the bad things in our relationship that I never could see. She didn’t let me hang out with my friends. I couldn’t talk to anybody of the opposite gender. Everything was my fault and I let it be. She didn’t like my family. She was mean to a lot of people. So I then decided that it should be more of a break and that we should see other people because we had only ever been with eachother. (except for when she cheated on me) I started talking to this new girl and she is so much nicer and we connect a lot better. I feel like it is unfair to this new girl if we date and I still miss and think about my ex and I also have thought about getting back together with my ex because I can tell she really believes that she made a mistake and that she needs to fix it and won’t be happy if she doesn’t. She says things will be different this time around and when I ask how she says she just feels it. Reading all of this I don’t understand why I want to get back together with her but I can’t help how I feel. I guess my question is would it be worth going back with my ex and stop talking to this new girl or should I just try to forget about my ex and build a relationship with the new girl. I feel like in either situation somebody is gonna get hurt and I am going to have some sort of regret. Someone already got hurt. Think about how it felt when you found out she cheated on you with your friend? You should cut your X off with zero contact and your X friend (he's a snake). You don't need people like that in your life. Your X is controlling. You need to read "No More Mr Nice Guy" free PDF download. It's short and will help you. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Life is hard enough without being with people you cannot trust. She is just your gf, not your wife of 20 years with 3 kids, a mortgage and a retirement plan to consider. Gfs who cheat need binned. As for the new girl she is a rebound and as you are still thinking about your ex, then you are going to seriously hurt her, when you realise she is not your ex and dump her, or she realises you cannot fully commit to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Life is hard enough without being with people you cannot trust. She is just your gf, not your wife of 20 years with 3 kids, a mortgage and a retirement plan to consider. Gfs who cheat need binned. As for the new girl she is a rebound and as you are still thinking about your ex, then you are going to seriously hurt her, when you realise she is not your ex and dump her, or she realises you cannot fully commit to her. Or, the new girl might not be a lying cheater and you won’t mind that she isn’t your ex. . Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Or, the new girl might not be a lying cheater and you won’t mind that she isn’t your ex. . He says he still wants to get back with his ex, so hardly the basis for a good relationship going forward... Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Your ex shows all the signs of being an abuser. Those people do not change no matter how sorry they seem to be. It’s all an act to get you back. If you go back, she’ll start doing the same things all over again. Stick with the new girl. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 There is nothing to go back to with your EX. After 3 years she proved herself to be a disloyal liar. All of your friends also pointed out other things that show you two did not have a healthy relationship. It's probably too soon for you to take up with a new girl. You are using that new girl as a rebound, to fill the hole in your heart left by your EX's departure but a rebound is still some forward motion. Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted February 13, 2019 Share Posted February 13, 2019 Me and my girlfriend dated for a little over 3 years and I had felt like we were drifting apart. I asked her about it and she had told me she felt like she found someone that could treat her better than I did. I took this as motivation to better myself and our relationship but about two week later I found out that she was having sexual relations with one of my friends. When I found out I asked her about it and she lied about it even though I knew everything and it took her multiple chances to finally make the stories match up. I decided that we should go on a break and during this break I talked to my friends about it and they helped me realize the bad things in our relationship that I never could see. She didn’t let me hang out with my friends. I couldn’t talk to anybody of the opposite gender. Everything was my fault and I let it be. She didn’t like my family. She was mean to a lot of people. So I then decided that it should be more of a break and that we should see other people because we had only ever been with eachother. (except for when she cheated on me) I started talking to this new girl and she is so much nicer and we connect a lot better. I feel like it is unfair to this new girl if we date and I still miss and think about my ex and I also have thought about getting back together with my ex because I can tell she really believes that she made a mistake and that she needs to fix it and won’t be happy if she doesn’t. She says things will be different this time around and when I ask how she says she just feels it. Reading all of this I don’t understand why I want to get back together with her but I can’t help how I feel. I guess my question is would it be worth going back with my ex and stop talking to this new girl or should I just try to forget about my ex and build a relationship with the new girl. I feel like in either situation somebody is gonna get hurt and I am going to have some sort of regret. Which one do you like more? Which one shows / showed she likes you more? Which one do you think of when all alone lying in bed after you shut the door? Which one do you wake up to thinking about? Which one occupies your mind? For that's the one that you've got feelings for, return the favor in kind. Link to post Share on other sites
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