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Could it be her fault/like she isnít girlfriend material/ that he did this to her?


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Old 11th February 2019, 3:31 PM   #16
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It's not her fault that he's a thief. It is her fault that she picks bad men.

The serenity prayer applies to more then drinking & drugs:
Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
In this scenario she doesn't understand that she can change how she choses me to date & that she must change that approach or risk more bad guys like him. She & Destini both need more wisdom in their lives.
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Old 11th February 2019, 3:32 PM   #17
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I find it concerning that you think that your friend may have got scammed because she is not gf material.

That is just so backwards.
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Old 11th February 2019, 3:46 PM   #18
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Yeah like others have pointed out, this has nothing to do with being ďgirl friend materialĒ and everything to do with not having any self respect.

She doesnít know how to respect herself. Not let dirt bags have unprotected sex with her. To not give money to people who do not respect her. To hang out in front of a Walmart while Mr. boyfriend of the year tries to steal a charger - oh right, he wasnít stealing a charger, he was stealing her money, stealing her self worth.

We CHOOSE the people we invite into our lives. Why did she choose this con man to be so incredibly generous with? The phone was a repayment? I am sorry she got scammed so much - and I hope hope hope she is not pregnant! That would be just horrible.

Soooo yeah, unless she takes a hard look at WHY she picked such a terrible man, things like this will probably keep happening.

Itís sad that she didnít have a strong father figure in her life to teach her that she deserves soooo much more than this.
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Old 11th February 2019, 4:04 PM   #19
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OP, this is why criminals continue to operate. People are ashamed to admit that they've been swindled. They know people will judge and say it happened because he or she is stupid, has low standards, desperate, etc. Even women who are victims of date rape will remain silent because people will say she got herself into that situation.

But a crime is a crime. There are organized criminals targeting people on dating website. They do succeed in getting people to send them money. That's why the criminals continue. Some of these people are normally smart but the criminals are professionals. Victims don't come forward because they'll get the blame.
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Old 11th February 2019, 7:41 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
It's not her fault that he's a thief. It is her fault that she picks bad men.

The serenity prayer applies to more then drinking & drugs:
Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
In this scenario she doesn't understand that she can change how she choses me to date & that she must change that approach or risk more bad guys like him. She & Destini both need more wisdom in their lives.
My relationship is fine. The same guy that I told you guys about and him doing things sexually to me in the car a few months ago since then we have both gotten each other Christmas gifts, me and his sister get along. I have her Snapchat, phone number etc she even sends me videos of him working when she goes to visit him at work. I even know his underwear size lmaoo, I bring him lunch, he does the same for me but instead he buys me lunch sometimes through uber eats. We eat out often, weíre going to the auto show for Valentineís Day. His family likes me and weíre going out of town without each other, heís going to Miami in the Spring Iím going to Vegas in August but we both trust each other enough to not care. Although he slickly mentioned something about how girls are gonna be all over him in Miami but thatís not cheating, we talked about that and moved on. I love my sister and feel bad for her and hopes that she learned but my dating situation is no where near like hers. Iím on birth control so we do have unprotected sex, and yea sometimes in the car or we get hotels a lot but only because neither of us live alone. So my relationship is fine. My sister is who iím Worried about with the guys she choose to date. I mean this only her second experience with dating/having a boyfriend and only her second sexual partner and before him she hadnít had sex or dated a guy in a year. So she does respect herself(referring to the the people who said she didnít) she just has to open her eyes and realize that the world is full of people who could care less and will use you. Especially con artist. She learned a lesson the hard way.
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Old 11th February 2019, 7:46 PM   #21
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What guy you had sex in a car with? Last time I looked you were out of work & pregnant by some guy who impregnated you while cheating on his GF. You were living with some relative of his & not understanding why we all wanted you to get away from him.

How old is your sister, BTW? Cause you're only about 19 & not setting the best example for her.

Where is your mom in all of this?
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Old 11th February 2019, 8:30 PM   #22
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Oh gosh, what a sad situation all around.

You know his underwear size..... yeah okay that is deep commitment right there.

You BOTH are way too trusting. You canít trust the man who impregnated you, and you are risking your unborn child if you are having unprotected sex with him.

I really wish you girls had some good role models, because itís painfully obvious that you do not - and you both are going to learn lessons the hard way. The painful, will ruin your future and the future of your children hard way.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 3:15 AM   #23
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No it's that man's fault. If you aren't normally put in that kind of situation and the man asks you to do something that nobody sans would normally ask you to do, it creates a type of underlying fear in a woman and confusion and creates a bad dynamic. I've been in a situation like that before. It's not her fault if somebody's parents are letting their psychotic kid walk around. Somebody has to know he is unstable and I am betting he has abused members of his immediate family long before he set out to find new victims that he knows he can get away with stuff.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 4:00 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gretchen12 View Post
OP, this is why criminals continue to operate. People are ashamed to admit that they've been swindled. They know people will judge and say it happened because he or she is stupid, has low standards, desperate, etc. Even women who are victims of date rape will remain silent because people will say she got herself into that situation.

But a crime is a crime. There are organized criminals targeting people on dating website. They do succeed in getting people to send them money. That's why the criminals continue. Some of these people are normally smart but the criminals are professionals. Victims don't come forward because they'll get the blame.
Exactly this! I can't believe how viciously the posters are attacking this girl whom they don't know and who isn't even posting here. This guy did a terrible thing to her and everyone is attacking her? One poster even said it's all her fault but maybe it's a little bit the guys fault too. Are you kidding me? I'm so glad none of you ever struggled in your youth, none of you ever picked a bad partner, none of you were ever naive and gullible and none of you ever made a bad decision.

I guess those of us who struggled with issues like low self esteem and inexperience when we were young are just losers who deserved to be treated horribly. We certainly shouldn't hold the thieving scamming men responsible for their actions, why their practically being forced to steal by their loser victims. Poor guys! Their the real victims. He stole from Walmart? Well let's all blame that on the girl too! That must mean she's a disease ridden loose woman who is probably going to pregnant. If she wasn't such a low down dirty no self respect woman she could have never been victimized. Loser.

Honest to God. No compassion, no empathy, no kindness. Let's all just stomp on that girls head some more because she hasn't been humiliated enough.

Your friend may have been gullible, she may have gotten involved with this guy because she lacks maturity or has some self esteem issues. If that's the case now she has learned a valuable lesson about trusting bad men. However she cannot be blamed for this guy's actions. He is the thief and the user. That's not your friend's fault and she did not deserve any of this. Being girlfriend material has nothing to with anything. If someone isn't girlfriend material you then you just don't date them. Your friend may have some issues but this guy is 10 times worse. He is a terrible human being
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Old 23rd February 2019, 12:40 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
What guy you had sex in a car with? Last time I looked you were out of work & pregnant by some guy who impregnated you while cheating on his GF. You were living with some relative of his & not understanding why we all wanted you to get away from him.

How old is your sister, BTW? Cause you're only about 19 & not setting the best example for her.

Where is your mom in all of this?
I think Destini needs to keep her stories straight.
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Old 23rd February 2019, 2:01 PM   #26
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Really, she's confused? I'm going to say your friend is dumb as a box of rocks. And the tipoff wasn't that she let some guy who admitted he steals scam money off her. The tipoff was she had unprotected sex with him. How stupid is that? Well, won't it be fun when the strip turns blue and she's stuck with trying to get child support out of THIS winner for the next 18 years? If you want to do something nice for your friend, have a talk with her about getting on birth control pills or patch and buy her a big box of condoms, and tell her not to trust people she just met and NEVER to give men money unless it's to split a dinner bill.
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