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Turned off by manicured goatees


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I was talking with a man who’s super nice but he has this one thing that really turns me off - a manicured cheesy goatee.

 

I do like closely trimmed beards and some other types of facial hair, but the manicured ones à la Chuck Todd, Robert Downey Jr. (or worse ones, this was just an example so you guys understand what I’m talking about) make me want to puke. Specially as man who have it do it in a way that doesn’t compliment or go with their face.

 

How would you act in this situation? Do you still think about going on a date (it does seem pathetic to give up on someone over this), do you hint nicely that they would look better with no beard or a more traditional one? Or, as I think you all might say - should I just shut the heck up, meet them and if things go well eventually I can have GF rights to their looks? :laugh:

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Not too fond of the trimmed goatee either, but I love beards. Unfortunately both men I dated with beards decided to shave them off, to reveal faces I was far less attracted too... LOL.

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Haha Elaine :D Yes beards can be super sexy if done right :love:

 

I think I might not want to kiss the guy because of that manicured goatee ugh. I feel pathetic but if I’m honest...

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I know... can I make a sarcastic “joke” that I’ll go on a date if he shaves that thing or grows a full trimmed beard?

 

Guess not :(

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Happy Lemming
I know... can I make a sarcastic “joke” that I’ll go on a date if he shaves that thing or grows a full trimmed beard?

 

Guess not :(

 

You could always buy him a razor (not Gillette) gift wrap it and give it to him on your first date. Tell him there will be a second date if he uses it to shave off the beard...

 

You could also tell him you will shave if he shaves off the beard. :)

 

That would be a HUGE incentive for me to shave, if I had a beard!!

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Yeah, I had a boyfriend who would have gotten a lot further without the goatee. It was blond and barely visible, too. He always wore sunglasses. I used to wish he'd wear those on his chin. I didn't say anything. I think the most you can do is say, I want to see old photos of you and then GUSH about the ones without facial hair and say how handsome he USED to be.

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some_username1

Can't help but think this is one of those threads where if the gender was reversed it'd be all like: "Gurl, he ain't got no right telling you how to dress/shave your privates/ This man is soooo controlling" etc. :laugh:

 

I would have a problem with anyone I was looking to date having this sort of attitude because it comes down to "I think he would look better like this" emphasis on the *I*. It would be your opinion that he would look better rather than empirical fact. What would your thoughts be if you knew right now that he was wondering how he could change your dress sense or your hairstyle so you dress in a way that appeals to him? Appearance is a very personal choice and speaks to who we are, for that reason if you are thinking about how you can change someone's appearance before you have even met I would say it's best for both parties to move on. You seem to have no problem getting dates so it seems daft to focus on this guy.

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Go on a date with the guy and in a flirty way tell him you'd prefer him without the goatee. See what happens. Maybe he'll bargain with you. If he gets all butthurt then he's weak and not worth your time anyway.

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If he gets all butthurt then he's weak and not worth your time anyway.

 

I can't imagine him being butthurt. Rather, I suspect that a negative reaction would be related to him simply having strong boundaries and not bothering with someone who's trying to change him from the outset. And it could be argued that he may think that the the woman telling him to shave is not worth HIS time.

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But but... manicured boxy goatees are the cheesiest thing ever invented! :lmao: I don't even get what they convey. They're not really masculine, or sexy. Maybe they look cute in punk rockers or certain musicians as it's part of the aesthetics. But in a regular man they look just weird!

 

In all honesty I feel bad for feeling this way. I know it's vapid. But I find them so horrid :eek: The guy is quite handsome... but there's this THING stuck in his face unnecessarily :lmao:

 

Appearance is a very personal choice and speaks to who we are, for that reason if you are thinking about how you can change someone's appearance before you have even met I would say it's best for both parties to move on.
Edited by edgygirl
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Yeah I see validity in both your points. I think I'd be pissed if someone tried to change me from the outset.

 

Go on a date with the guy and in a flirty way tell him you'd prefer him without the goatee.

 

I suspect that a negative reaction would be related to him simply having strong boundaries and not bothering with someone who's trying to change him from the outset.

 

And Happy Lemming - no way I'm shaving there! Not my style :p

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Basil, bargaining involves him getting something in return for shaving his goatee. It's a good way for both parties to get something they want.

 

There are people out there that might go with the exact opposite hairstyle their partner likes, but that's not really "maintaining strong boundaries", it's more a form of hostility. It's better to have a relationship that's filled with loving compromise.

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Yeah I see validity in both your points. I think I'd be pissed if someone tried to change me from the outset.

 

 

I can't even. Agree. Off to bed after voicing my opinion. Not on board with asking for adjusting or the goatee sis.

 

 

 

Best Edgygirl.

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Kitty Tantrum

Tell him you won't meet him because he has a goatee. If he volunteers to shave it off tell him you won't meet him because he's too much of a pushover.

 

NEXT!

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That's why you should go on a date, be a little flirty about the goatee, and see what happens. I wouldn't expect him to get up from the table and come back 5 minutes later clean shaven. But maybe you'll get an interesting and fun dynamic going. Or it will end up sucking and you'll be back in the exact spot you're in now.

 

For anyone out there who might be facing the same conundrum, just remember. fortune favors the bold. :)

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I can't even. Agree. Off to bed after voicing my opinion. Not on board with asking for adjusting or the goatee sis.

 

Best Edgygirl.

Alright, the deals off. I'm getting the shaving cream and razor out right now. :mad::p

 

(We have a deal about my facial hair for anyone who's wondering)

Edited by gaius
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Ha! This is hilarious! :lmao: Hey as I said facial hair can be very sexy. It just depends which type.

 

Alright, the deals off. I'm getting the shaving cream and razor out right now. :mad::p

 

(We have a deal about my facial hair for anyone who's wondering)

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There are people out there that might go with the exact opposite hairstyle their partner likes, but that's not really "maintaining strong boundaries", it's more a form of hostility. It's better to have a relationship that's filled with loving compromise.

 

Compromise works both ways. It can also be about you accepting your partner for how they look and them accepting it about you in return. I am a woman who wears very short, choppy hair despite hubby liking it long. And hubby wears Tshirts instead of my preference of button up shirts. I think this is a quite acceptable compromise.

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Happy Lemming

Who knows, he may be getting tired of facial hair and looking for a reason to shave it off. When I worked, I tried a goatee once when everyone else at work was growing them. Mine itched and there was an inordinate amount of gray in it (made me look older than I was). So when the person I was dating expressed dislike at it, I was more than happy to shave it off.

 

He may be on the fence about it and looking for a reason to shave it off.

 

If its a choice of going out with a beautiful woman or some hair... hand me the razor. Heck, I'd shave every inch of my body for Christina Hendricks!!

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Happy Lemming - good taste in women! Joan Holloway :love: MAD MEN. She was probably my only girl celebrity crush in the past 10 years :lmao:

 

I'd feel totally comfy telling someone I'm dating to shave, or keep it. Actually the man I was dating in October asked me out of nowhere if I wanted him to shave his growing stubble beard, that he would if I did... I said nooooo I like it! But someone I just met... he might think I am high-maintenance too soon.

 

Let's see, I just realized the man is visiting my city, he lives in one of the countries I come from. So now the goatee might be the least of my problems :p

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Who on earth would bargain to change something in their appearance just in order to get a date? I'd be concerned about this person's lack of boundaries and sense of self.

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