Greg60. Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I must congratulate myself even if no one else thinks it is a big deal. I've had a crush on a coworker for over 4 years. When it started out my interest level was 80%-85%. By 2018 it dropped to the 70s and now just in the last week it has dropped to 60%-65%. I'm finally making progress. I'm hoping it falls some more because it sucks to be in a positon of dealing with an unrequited crush. It took years to get my interest level down. How did I get here? This may help others going through a similiar situation with an unrequited crush on coworker. 1. I only worked with her when it was absolutely necessary. I would not choose her as a first option for work partner. Basically I limited contact while still being professional. I suspect what ignited the crush in the first place was spendong too much time partnered up together and talking about our personal lives outside of work. I did not mean to catch feelings but I did. 2. I took up new hobbies. 3. I chat up other women outside of work like on dating apps. 4. I am highly aware that my interest level is way too high and I acknowledge that it should not be this high. I don't live in denial about it. A very important step in getting my interest level down is to acknowledge the truth. Then I modify behavior accordingly such as not talking to her unless it is work related. I think that by applying all these religiously it has helped. I don't think my interest level in her ever got into the 90s otherwwise I would not think objectively. The fact that I could still be objective in my thinking proves I was not too far gone and it was 85% at maximum. 60% interest level is mild attraction. Ideally interest level in a coworker should be less than 55%. 50s is borderline. As long as I keep applying these strategies my interest level will not creep back up. This week I think I appreciate my stress free comfortable life as a single man. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I’m sorry, is this a scientifically proven scale of attraction... just curious how you got your numbers. But seriously, your strategies are good even if you analysis is a little... unusual. Wishing you continued success, I guess... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg60. Posted February 8, 2019 Author Share Posted February 8, 2019 I’m sorry, is this a scientifically proven scale of attraction... just curious how you got your numbers. But seriously, your strategies are good even if you analysis is a little... unusual. Wishing you continued success, I guess... Yes interest level is real. Attraction comes in degrees. It is not as simple as being either attracted 100% or 0%. One woman has 83% attraction for her husband while another has 95% attraction and another has 70% attraction. Now these numbers can go up or down over time depending on how many things the guy does right or wrong in her eyes. The thing is that what turns a woman off is a matter of degree depending on his actions. For example let's say you are a woman married to your husband for 10 years. Every once in awhile he may get lazy about helping you around the house with chores. Is that a turn off? Probably. Are you going to think about divorcing him over that? Depends on how often he makes it a habit to not help and procrastinate doing chores. Alot of women complain that their husbands don't do enough housework. We all get lazy sometimes and nobody is perfect but if this mistake is made once or twice a year and no more then the wife is turned off only a little bit. A once or twice a year lapse in helping her out around the house may mean she penalizes 2 or 3 attraction level points which he can recover later. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 It’s great you took steps to get over her but I think my main question would be did you also work on trying to figure out why you were hooked on someone who didn’t love you back for 4 years? That’s a long time... I feel doing some psychological explorations to understand deep down why this happened would do you good. At least so you don’t get into the same situation again and waste precious time in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Malin889 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Did she ever express any percentage of interest in you? Were you ever dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts