Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 My boyfriend just texted me “I wanna make out.” Every time he does this I get irritated and don’t respond. Is it normal to feel irritated by this? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Is it normal to be irritated when your boyfriend sends you a sexual text. Not really, no. I mean, everyone has a different comfort level with this kind of talk. But, what he texted was barely suggestive. Certainly not particularly flirty or x-rated. What is it that irritates you? How is your relationship - do you have fun with this guy and enjoy a good sex life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 I’m not sure why it irritates me. I do have fun with this guy and we do have a good sex life except that his drive is much higher than mine. I feel like I have a pretty healthy drive but we have been together a year and a half and he would have sex every time we get together if I would be willing. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I’m not sure why it irritates me. I do have fun with this guy and we do have a good sex life except that his drive is much higher than mine. I feel like I have a pretty healthy drive but we have been together a year and a half and he would have sex every time we get together if I would be willing. Is it possible that you are irritated because you are just feeling pressure? Do you do things together that do not involve sex? Do you feel like you have a good connection and he appreciates you in other ways, that are not sexual in nature? To be very honest, I love flirting with my boyfriend by text. We do it by text, and also in person. But... if he was constantly asking, it would get old really fast. Just saying... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Whether it's normal or not, you don't like so just let him know that. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 My boyfriend just texted me “I wanna make out.” Every time he does this I get irritated and don’t respond. Is it normal to feel irritated by this? can't blame you...that's some really raunchy stuff there.... All kidding aside, If you don't like it just tell him to stop...Im sure it wont be a big deal...Just be aware that he may react to it as you being a wet blanket and it might set him off.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Is it possible that you are irritated because you are just feeling pressure? Do you do things together that do not involve sex? Do you feel like you have a good connection and he appreciates you in other ways, that are not sexual in nature? To be very honest, I love flirting with my boyfriend by text. We do it by text, and also in person. But... if he was constantly asking, it would get old really fast. Just saying... The constant pressure doesn’t help. But thinking back to a past relationship where that pressure wasn’t there, I would get irritated when he sent me that kind of text too. It has to do with the fact that it’s out of the blue. I like to be warmed up or romanced first. I think I feel objectified. He is a sweetheart and I know he loves me but I wish we had more conversations that don’t have to do with sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 You have mismatched drives and get irritated by sexual innuendo. Perhaps you two aren't really compatible? If you get married, a significant mismatch will be a major source of frustration and irritation for BOTH of you, and could easily lead to divorce - or cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 One important lesson to learn about relationships is that women “just get it”, but men can never read your mind unless you teach them. You are unjustified in expecting him to understand you want to be romanced unless you tell him. Use this as an opportunity to teach him what you think. Don’t suddenly be cross and grumble at him and shut down. Men will always want physical intimacy but you can make it a win win situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Whether it's normal or not, you don't like so just let him know that. I did end up telling him and he took it well. We laughed about it. I mean, common. “I wanna make out” sounds really bone headed. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I did end up telling him and he took it well. We laughed about it. I mean, common. “I wanna make out” sounds really bone headed. Yes, when it’s just out of the blue, it sounds really dumb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Why do you ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 Perhaps, but perhaps not. His drive might not always be higher than mine. Maybe I could slip the opposite of viagra in his drinks? (kidding) We've talked about our drive difference a few times and have come to an understanding. I don't know many women that would be willing to have sex every single time they see their partner of 1-1/2 years or more. He realizes his drive is unusually high in his relationship with me. There is a lot more to our relationship than sex. We are amazed at how well we get along. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 How old are you? Why do you ask? Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 Why do you ask? I'm thinking you are likely in your early 20s? I am trying to put this in context so we can give you better advice. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 (edited) Age influences sex hormones. From my personal experience men in their 20s (and teens) want sex and think about it ALL the time. My boyfriends in my 20s also were up for sex every time we met. Many times I felt pressured to do it even when I didn’t really feel like it - well, I love them I thought - “I shouldn’t be refusing when they want it, right?” Maybe that’s why you're irritated with his texts. It reminds you that sometimes you have to do it even when you don’t really feel like it. The funny thing is for women (at least for me) the sex drive increased a lot after my mid 30s. It gets crazy high in your 40s. Exactly when it seems it goes down for some males. Why do you ask? Edited February 4, 2019 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 The constant pressure doesn’t help. But thinking back to a past relationship where that pressure wasn’t there, I would get irritated when he sent me that kind of text too. It has to do with the fact that it’s out of the blue. I like to be warmed up or romanced first. I think I feel objectified. He is a sweetheart and I know he loves me but I wish we had more conversations that don’t have to do with sex. What did he say when you told him this? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 It's fine that you feel irritated by it. I think it's disrespectful. He's just going to sit there and masturbate if you say anything sexy back to him. Let him do that on his own time. I'm not saying no one should do it if both people enjoy it, but from being on here, it seems like more of a one-way man road -- or people are too private to want to talk about it, which is good too. I think what would bother me most about it is if that was usually the end goal, rather than seeming interested in what I was doing or thinking about. In the days before internet, I had a Navy friend who used to call me from the traffic control tower and talk dirty. He didn't seem to mind that it was mostly one-sided -- or that he was created God knows what havoc with the incoming and outgoing aircraft. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 (edited) It has to do with the fact that it’s out of the blue. I like to be warmed up or romanced first. I think I feel objectified. He is a sweetheart and I know he loves me but I wish we had more conversations that don’t have to do with sex. Perhaps, that is his attempt to warm you up and romance you... Sexting can be a fun way to flirt and set the mood... He's just a little too direct, too blunt, and obviously focused on the end-game. As they say, you have to know your audience. For whatever reason, you have decided that you don't like it. That's fair enough, and you should communicate that to him. Hopefully, he will respond your opinion and develop a little more tact. Just remember - relationships are about compromise. You need to decide if this is a hill that you want to die on? Because, becoming irritated and dismissing his attempts to be close with you is going to affect your relationship. You both need to communicate and try to come up with a compromise that meets both of your needs. Edited February 4, 2019 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 In regard to our ages, it's pretty funny... Yes, you would think we were in our early 20's, but he is 52 and I am 50! And yet, he has the highest sex drive of any boyfriend I've ever had. Frankly, it's exhausting, but we've talked it out and we're okay. I don't have it when I don't want to and he realizes he gets it more from me than he probably would from the average woman, so he can't complain. I agree that I need to communicate with him about how I feel, and I did after my initial post, over the phone. He called me and joked, "Do I need to take a breath mint or something?" I told him that for whatever reason I always get irritated when he sends me texts like that. It went well. We laughed about it and he agreed not to send me texts like that anymore. Then he sent me a really sweet text saying, "The truth is, I want to kiss you every day for the rest of my life." That one went over really well! <3<3<3 . I guess I just like more romance and finesse than many of you here. He doesn't mind because he can be very romantic too, plus he loves me and likes making me happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormysea2 Posted February 4, 2019 Author Share Posted February 4, 2019 It's fine that you feel irritated by it. I think it's disrespectful. He's just going to sit there and masturbate if you say anything sexy back to him. Let him do that on his own time. I'm not saying no one should do it if both people enjoy it, but from being on here, it seems like more of a one-way man road -- or people are too private to want to talk about it, which is good too. I think what would bother me most about it is if that was usually the end goal, rather than seeming interested in what I was doing or thinking about. In the days before internet, I had a Navy friend who used to call me from the traffic control tower and talk dirty. He didn't seem to mind that it was mostly one-sided -- or that he was created God knows what havoc with the incoming and outgoing aircraft. Haha!!! THANK you! I'm glad at least one person can relate! I was feeling so outnumbered. And yes, I also get the impression this site is a one-way man road. I mean he is a good guy and usually makes me very happy. But no relationship is perfect all the time, right? And we're all entitled to our feelings, even if they differ. Link to post Share on other sites
Luster1 Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 My boyfriend just texted me “I wanna make out.” Every time he does this I get irritated and don’t respond. Is it normal to feel irritated by this? It's all about balance. Do you see him as he sees you? If he sees you as a sexy person he wants to make love to, you should see him as the same thing. Make sure your sex drives match up. And when you tell him how you feel, if he doesn't listen and stop asking for what you don't want, or if he does for a little while then starts up again, then leave him. I think I was in basically the same situation as you, and I'm happy with the way it ended, so if you need advice feel free to talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted February 4, 2019 Share Posted February 4, 2019 I told him that for whatever reason I always get irritated when he sends me texts like that. It went well. We laughed about it and he agreed not to send me texts like that anymore. Then he sent me a really sweet text saying, "The truth is, I want to kiss you every day for the rest of my life." That one went over really well! <3<3<3 . I guess I just like more romance and finesse than many of you here. He doesn't mind because he can be very romantic too, plus he loves me and likes making me happy. Well, there is your compromise. Dial up the romance, and dial down the horn-dog. Romance is all good. My boyfriend is very smart and I love our banter because it's often very intelligent and witty. It totally turns me on, and vice-versa. And the more suggestive comments... we'll because they are slid in every now and again... they have the desired effect too! Try to have fun with it. Find a way to have fun with it... and, appreciate the fact that you have a guy who loves you and finds you so attractive that he wants to be with you all the time. You just need to renegotiate some balance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted February 5, 2019 Share Posted February 5, 2019 OP, you mentioned that he wants to have sex every time you see each other. How often are the two of you seeing each other? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts