Otter2569 Posted February 2, 2019 Share Posted February 2, 2019 For months i've been feeling that my relationship has become boring and monotonous. I try to be understanding that the holidays are stressful, its winter so we are stuck indoors a lot, we both have kids and there have been a few unexpected life events over this period as well. We have been together almost 3 years so maybe it is a phase we need to work through? As time goes on I feel more like friends. Interest in sex and its frequency have also dropped. She is pretty stoic emotionally which was nice in the beginning, now it feels cold and robotic. My thought is to find something we can do together like a cooking class or an art class. I also planned a vacation for just the 2 of us in a few weeks as well. Somehow this **** has got to kick up a notch... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 10+ years, I don't feel that way about our marriage personally. But, I do think that it's important to have realistic expectations. Especially if there are kids in the equation, not every day (or even every week) can be a sex-filled vacay right out of the movies. It's probably a balance of both - a compatible partner in a relationship where both of you are making some effort, AND the acceptance that life isn't always fireworks (and IMO doesn't always have to be, in order to be happy). What are your absolute needs (not wants), to be happy in your relationship? Do you feel that they are realistic over a long term? Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 3, 2019 Share Posted February 3, 2019 I'm getting the impression that your LIFE is monotonous and you're expecting your relationship to compensate for that. Unless you want to jump from relationship to relationship as soon as the honeymoon period ends, that's not a realistic expectation. As someone who played a lot of video games in my youth, I liken it to the "level grind." Sometimes we hit a plateau and life requires us to put our nose to the grindstone for a while before something shakes loose. Side quests (vacations, projects, etc.) can be good for breaking up the monotony, but avoid hitting the reset button and starting over from the beginning unless you want to find yourself in the same place again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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