Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Hello, I was wondering what peoples views were on sexting whilst in a relationship, would you consider it cheating? I don't mean like mild flirting, I mean sexual messages (no photos being exchanged.). I know some people say due to no physical touching etc. then it's not cheating but do you think that due to the messages content and possible intent it's breaking the trust of relationship ? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 Maybe so, but they can always open their mouth to voice their concerns to their partner if they aren't satisfied. It would be a deal breaker to me if my girlfriend sexted and cheated on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 some ppl like smut... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 It's a slippery slope. It's not cheating per se but it's really bad for the primary relationship & some indication that the person is not getting their needs met inside the relationship. It would cause me to seriously re-evaluate staying in the relationship with somebody who did that. It's kind of like somebody saying I want to kill that person or actually stabbing / shooting the other person. Even if the other person doesn't die, so it's not murder, I'm not sticking around to wait for the perpetrator to get it right next time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 What's cheating depends on the rules of a particular relationship. If your partner wouldn't approve and you're doing it behind their back, then it is a form of cheating. It doesn't matter whether I think it's okay or not because you're not dating me. It's your partner's opinion that matters. Infidelity is not only about sex. There are many ways to be unfaithful to a partner. Lying about money, for example, can be just as destructive to a relationship. If you know your partner would not approve of something and you do it in secret anyway, you are not upholding your end of a partnership. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Is it cheating? YES. Most definitely. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 I know some people say due to no physical touching etc. then it's not cheating but do you think that due to the messages content and possible intent it's breaking the trust of relationship ? Exchanging messages with someone plotting the overthrow of the government is treason, they don't have to wait until you actually act. This is no different, it establishes the intent to go outside the relationship. If my partner was sexting with someone else, it would be pretty disingenuous to act surprised when she actually cheated... Mr. Lucky 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 24, 2019 Author Share Posted January 24, 2019 Exchanging messages with someone plotting the overthrow of the government is treason, they don't have to wait until you actually act. This is no different, it establishes the intent to go outside the relationship. If my partner was sexting with someone else, it would be pretty disingenuous to act surprised when she actually cheated... I get you. It's the intent to act upon your plans that make it suspect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted January 24, 2019 Share Posted January 24, 2019 Sometimes there are questions asked in here I can say I haven't given hardly a thought and this is one of those. It's never been an issue at home. I told my wife from the start I want her to do anything she thinks it will bring happiness in her life. When she is on her text machine to one of our male friends going back and forth more power to her. Could they be sexting? Never say never. I have no clue to what they are saying and quite frankly I'm not interested unless she wants to share something with me. So for me it would not be cheating. Where as other guys would lose there minds! People are just wired differently. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 (edited) You have got to be f**king kidding, right? If not, then good luck with that. You will need it. Edited January 25, 2019 by doyathinkso signature disappeared had to add it Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 Yes it's cheating. It's highly inappropriate to be getting sexual with anybody outside of a monogamous relationship and yes, sexting is sexual. It pretty much falls into the category of emotional cheating. Personally I would divorce over this but that's me. There are so many apps out there today that allow this type of activity and if you catch a partner engaging in this type of activity how could you trust they haven't done more? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 25, 2019 Author Share Posted January 25, 2019 Yes it's cheating. It's highly inappropriate to be getting sexual with anybody outside of a monogamous relationship and yes, sexting is sexual. It pretty much falls into the category of emotional cheating. Personally I would divorce over this but that's me. There are so many apps out there today that allow this type of activity and if you catch a partner engaging in this type of activity how could you trust they haven't done more? I absolutely am on the same page as you pal. I couldn't ever look at my partner in the same light again if she did that to me and as you say, how could you trust that they haven't done anything else? Link to post Share on other sites
T-Rexus Posted January 25, 2019 Share Posted January 25, 2019 It's not cheating yet, but if it's two people who know each other in real life, then it has a very big chance of becoming actual cheating. If anything it may be close to an emotional affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hollywood-Tourist Posted January 26, 2019 Author Share Posted January 26, 2019 If anything it may be close to an emotional affair. Which is just as bad and damaging to a relationship IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 An emotional affair is absolutely as bad as a physical affair or worse if it's a woman having it. While a man may appear to give love to get sex a woman is more likely to give sex to get apparent love. An emotional affair puts a woman on a very steep and very slippery slope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarah_Smiles Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 To me, if you are sexting with anyone other than your actual partner then - yes, it is cheating. Doing anything remotely sexual behind the back of a partner is cheating, especially if you cannot tell that partner about it, and you hide it, then you know they would probably consider it wrong for you to be doing also and see it as cheating on cheating on them.( unless you have an open relationship and they are doing stuff with others too) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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