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It honestly sucks being single. Anyone that claims its great, are liars


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Old 24th January 2019, 9:32 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Normm View Post
And being coupled with the right person is so much better than being single.
I would agree with that personally, and I'm sure OP agrees. But we can't speak for everyone else.

I was offering an explanation as to why OP has been told that being single is great. I'm not telling her she's wrong to feel otherwise.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:41 PM   #32
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Not to say l don't get someone liking single , l don't care what anyone does or prefers good luck to them,
Best to just know ourselves though and be true in whatever we genuinely prefer and want with our lives and hopefully whatever that is makes us happy.

ps , dunno what 200pounds is in kg but it sounds bloody heavy.
But there's plenty of heavy guys around so as long as she bats on her field good luck to her.
What l found really insulting though when a heavy girl expected me to be interested because that ain't gonna happen. l'm in good shape and l insist on exactly the same back.
Even had a girl say to me once so what difference does it make she's overweight , ahh, could she really be that blind to the female body.
And does she really expect to treat herself like that yet a guy in good shape to not complain.
l dunno , talk about see no evil hear no evil.
Ain't happening in this lifetime.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:43 PM   #33
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I've experienced both situations so I think I can contribute. I'm 5'4 and around 125lbs but I've been over 200lbs for 2 years.

What can I say, I still attracted men when I was fat, but probably specific men who are into chubby women. Now I don't feel my weight is an issue in attracting any men. Quite the contrary, it helps a lot, almost every men I meet says how my body is perfect. If only they knew. It's a little sickening, I don't like men who over-focus on looks, but that's the reality of our society, I think most men do specially on the body

HappyLemming, I recommend her niece does sleeve gastric surgery. Someone in my family did it and they are size 2 now and happily dating.

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I find that to be pretty offensive. Sure. I’m not everyone’s type and some men might be turn off by my weight, but it has never been an obstacle in my dating life.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:44 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by chillii View Post
Not to say l don't get someone liking single , l don't care what anyone does or prefers good luck to them,
Best to just know ourselves though and be true in whatever we genuinely prefer and want with our lives and hopefully whatever that is makes us happy.<snip>

^I like the first 6 sentences in your post.


I don't understand the last 4

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Old 24th January 2019, 9:47 PM   #35
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Highroller107 I totally get you and although we probably have to be in a relatively good place in life to find someone, I don't believe in the motto that one has to be happy by themselves before finding love. I don't think I can be really happy uncoupled. You have the right to feel how you feel, don't let anyone tell you that it doesn't make sense. People have different needs, and only we know what we need in life.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:56 PM   #36
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ps , dunno what 200pounds is in kg but it sounds bloody heavy.<snip>
200 pounds = almost 91 kilograms.

The niece doesn't want a heavy guy, she wants the same type of guy her 110 pound (50 kilogram) sister got. And she sits there and complains to anyone who will listen to her. Again, not willing to make any changes to fix the situation.

I have no idea why my girlfriend (her aunt) doesn't come right out and tell her to stop the pity party and do something about being obese.
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Old 24th January 2019, 9:56 PM   #37
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I'm single and am genuinely happy. I would be happy being married, too. As a general rule, I've found my happiness isn't dependent on others, although I like people and enjoy being around them.

I would be wary of marrying someone who wasn't happy while single. I find I'm more attracted to people who are living life to the hilt and happy about their lives.
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Old 24th January 2019, 10:37 PM   #38
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^ This ^
But even with all that said, there are people who are happier coupled up no matter how dysfunctional it gets or how hard it is, because they just don't like being on their own or can't do it financially, especially if they want children. I'm just not one of those people.
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Old 24th January 2019, 10:41 PM   #39
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that's a good assessment preraph
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Old 24th January 2019, 10:59 PM   #40
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OP never mentioned her weight, so why did this turn into a "no fat chicks" discussion?
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Old 24th January 2019, 11:04 PM   #41
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Originally Posted by Finding my way View Post
OP never mentioned her weight, so why did this turn into a "no fat chicks" discussion?
I was using that as an example about change. And how my gf's niece did not want to change.

It was not my intention to turn it into a "no fat chick" discussion.

My point to the OP was... if you've been doing the same thing over and over again and its not working. Do something completely different to obtain your goal of meeting a man and securing a boyfriend.
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Old 25th January 2019, 12:25 AM   #42
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Highroller107 I totally get you and although we probably have to be in a relatively good place in life to find someone, I don't believe in the motto that one has to be happy by themselves before finding love. I don't think I can be really happy uncoupled. You have the right to feel how you feel, don't let anyone tell you that it doesn't make sense. People have different needs, and only we know what we need in life.

Yeah , l don't either. l think it's just trying to be helpful in urging people to find some happiness for themselves no matter what ,so it is sorta meant in good will non the less.
But funny , matter of fact l could not have been more miserable after divorce at the time l met gf , and she was in exactly the same place and time after hers too.
l'd worked through everything it wasn't about that as such but just life at that stage, l was just not a happy puppy at all and neither was she.
Next minute though we were as high as kites on luvvvvvvv.
ps , thanks HL, that's pretty heavy.

Last edited by chillii; 25th January 2019 at 12:36 AM..
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Old 25th January 2019, 12:19 PM   #43
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Of course most people will be happier in relationships. It is literally your natural instinct to mate. Everyone is affected to some degree, but people can control their instincts with their intellect. That is how you get people who can genuinely be happy being single--that or they have a bad history with relationships.
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Old 25th January 2019, 1:12 PM   #44
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I never sleep alone. I have dogs.

And Iím perfectly fine with that!
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Old 25th January 2019, 1:18 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by Nilfiry View Post
Of course most people will be happier in relationships.
Some of us neuro-diverse people are wired differently. For us, the above is simply not the case.

As an aside, it's interesting to me how non-neurotypicals often display more empathy and understanding of those who don't 'think' like us than some NTs who are convinced their way is the only way...
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