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Transforming into a passive aggressive man


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I'm not a misogynist nor do I hate any gender. In fact, I am a man who loves and cares for all. I might be called a misogynist by people who fail to see my point. I am a man who would love a woman more than any other man could, but whenever I see a woman withholding sex and abusing this power, my inner- self forces me to become a passive-aggressive man. I have noticed that there is a lot of double standards when it comes to sex. Sexual intimacy was created as a gift by nature so that a man and woman can bond together. Unfortunately, many women abuse this power for their own selfish advantages.

 

Here is the main thing:-

 

If women think that they are doing a "favor" to me by having sex with me, or if women think that I would be doing a "favor" to them by not having sex with them, or if women think that I would be "respecting" them by not having sex with them. This is because sex was created to bond men and women. It was not created for women who could use it as a tool.

 

I know that many manipulative women wouldn't want me as their partner because they use sexuality for their own benefit and obviously I wouldn't get manipulated, as I already understand the manipulative nature. I wouldn't want to become their partner either!

 

I'm not a woman hater, but I do hate women who use sexuality for their own benefit. No man has ever used sex as weapon against women.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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No man has ever used sex as weapon against women.

 

I would have to disagree with you here. I’ve seen men use sex to get what they want. Both men and women can use sex (or withholding it) as a way to punish the other person or get something.

 

But I have to agree that I find that manipulative and wrong. I’ve seen many people on here recommend to stop having sex in order to get the other to do something. I don’t see that as a solution at all, IMO, it only creates more problems. Sex shouldn’t be a reward for doing the right thng or whatever.

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Kitty Tantrum

Sex is one of my favorite things, and my ex-husband used that against me all the time. I gave him my virginity, I gave him intimacy whenever he wanted it, he'd withhold and dangle it as a reward to get what he wanted or manipulate me emotionally.

 

Your own personal experiences are not representative of everyone everywhere.

 

You sound very bitter. I'm sorry you've been hurt so badly in the past. Welcome to the club!

 

Now get your head far enough out of your butt to recognize that men, as a whole, do all of the same sorts of awful things women do.

 

Also, if sex was "created" for any one thing... pretty sure that one thing would be making babies. :laugh:

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No man has ever used sex as a weapon against women, you say?

 

How do you categorize rape and sexual assault?

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I'm not a misogynist nor do I hate any gender. In fact, I am a man who loves and cares for all. I might be called a misogynist by people who fail to see my point. I am a man who would love a woman more than any other man could, but whenever I see a woman withholding sex and abusing this power, my inner- self forces me to become a passive-aggressive man. I have noticed that there is a lot of double standards when it comes to sex. Sexual intimacy was created as a gift by nature so that a man and woman can bond together. Unfortunately, many moronic women abuse this power for their own selfish advantages.

 

You can make any part of a relationship a battleground, doesn't have to just be sex. Partners can fight over emotional intimacy, finances, lifestyles, etc.

 

When this happens, both lose. You seem to be focused on your own loss, but if you're not having sex, neither is your partner if you're exclusive.

 

The idea is to let the relationship win by engaging in behaviors that benefit both partners. Since this means setting aside patterns of hostility and retaliation, your statement that "I am a man who would love a woman more than any other man could" until "I see a woman withholding sex" doesn't help you. Who defines "withholding"? If you turn sex into a power struggle, whomever cares the least will win every time.

 

Your attitude will screen out the very women you'd want to be with. You might want to rethink such a self-defeating approach...

 

Mr. Lucky

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loversquarrel
No man has ever used sex as a weapon against women, you say?

 

How do you categorize rape and sexual assault?

 

As crimes of violence against those who are the victims of it. I don’t think the op was thinking of rape/sexual assault but rather more in regards to relationships between men and women. Anyone at any age can become the victim of rape, it is not gender exclusive nor age specific.

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Actually, you set yourself up to be the victim of withholding sex by your very attitude. And btw, sex wasn't necessarily "created" for the reasons you like to believe. Ask any cavewoman.

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While you might interpret her disinterest in sex as purposely withholding it from you to gain power, another man may interpret it to mean he is not desirable enough or simply not good in bed.

There are certain things in nature you cannot change. Men and women are different. Men have many sperms, women only one egg per month.

We have such a thing as the disenfranchised male. The powerful male has many women wanting him while the defeated male has no one at all - no dates, no girlfriend, no sex, he's denied the chance to mate. That's his defeat by other men.

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I would never have sex with a man as some kind of favor to him. I would only have sex with a man whom I'm attracted to and wish to have sex with. Nobody is owed sex. If someone isn't having sex with you then they are either trying to form some sort of relationship with you first or they are not attracted to you. You get to decide what you want to do about that. You can walk away anytime you want, no need to become passive aggressive or aggressive.

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Women are still judged much more negatively for having sex outside of marriage than men are, and especially for having had many sex partners. Some men think women they date should have sex with them but should not have had sex with all the men she dated before him. If you’re upset about a woman waiting before deciding whether to have sex with you, keep in mind the stigma women still face rather than assuming she’s being manipulative.

Edited by Tamfana
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Actually, you set yourself up to be the victim of withholding sex by your very attitude. And btw, sex wasn't necessarily "created" for the reasons you like to believe. Ask any cavewoman.

 

I am not trying to play victim here. I made it very clear I would rather choose not to bang someone who thinks I am a hungry street dog and she is the one who does favor. I am not a beggar who begs women. Balance is important in relationships. I cannot even imagine living with a woman who thinks I would be respecting her or doing her a favor by not having sex with her. Is it that difficult to understand?

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Now get your head far enough out of your butt to recognize that men, as a whole, do all of the same sorts of awful things women do.

 

Responses like these just trigger my passive aggressive behavior. Unfortunately, internet websites are doing great job messing up with my mind. Instead of addressing the issue and help me with my behavior, several people post comments that just add fuel to the fire. Here is the main issue: I actually want to become a really great husband, but unfortunately several responses by people on websites makes my mental problem worse. I really do not want to ruin any life of any woman. But if the life of any woman is ruined by my behavior, then people who made my behavior worse by their harsh comments would be the one who would be responsible, not me.

Edited by Only-yours
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I think part of the issue is you have a really kind of strange preconception of what sexual relationships are and get real bent out of shape when someone doesn't fit that mold -- and really, your beliefs are so outside the norm that no one is going to fit that mold. Women are all different and have their own priorities and their own brains and make their own decisions -- and just so you know, most of them, their Number 1 priority is NOT sex. It's high on the list of recreational fun, but it's not their religion and they don't feel it's their duty and owed to you. I know you can't see how out on the limb you are on this subject, but trust me, it reads pretty extreme.

 

If you don't like a woman, don't continue to date her. Easy-peasy.

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I am not trying to play victim here. I made it very clear I would rather choose not to bang someone who thinks I am a hungry street dog and she is the one who does favor. I am not a beggar who begs women. Balance is important in relationships. I cannot even imagine living with a woman who thinks I would be respecting her or doing her a favor by not having sex with her. Is it that difficult to understand?

 

Huh? what are you even talking about here? Are you living with a woman who is asking you to not have sex with her? Certainly nobody here has advised that it's acceptable for a live in partner to withhold sex for no reason.

 

My impression from reading your other comments and threads is that you do not have a girlfriend and you are angry at women who refuse to have sex within the first few dates or even the first date. If you think any woman owes you sex because she accepted a date with you, you are sorely mistaken. A woman has every right to decide when, where and with whom she will have sex. A woman with good self esteem will never be pressured into sex by a man with that attitude.

 

[]

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Personalize and pejorative content redacted
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Sunshine, you are a 25 year old boy with a hyperactive sex drive and you are angry you don’t have women falling at your feet to have sex with you.

 

You have a couple options here:

 

1. Make yourself more attractive than other men you age by bringing maturity to the table - meaning not just looking good but also having your financial house in order

 

Or

 

2. Be attractive and go after the young 20’s and late teens (18-19-20) crowd

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I'm not a woman hater, but I do hate women who use sexuality for their own benefit. No man has ever used sex as weapon against women.

 

As for the “sex as a weapon” comment - drop that too. You’re showing immaturity with that statement. Sex is most definitely used as a weapon by men. That’s called rape and sexual harassment.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Kitty Tantrum
Responses like these just trigger my passive aggressive behavior. Unfortunately, internet websites are doing great job messing up with my mind. Instead of addressing the issue and help me with my behavior, several people post comments that just add fuel to the fire. Here is the main issue: I actually want to become a really great husband, but unfortunately several responses by people on websites makes my mental problem worse. I really do not want to ruin any life of any woman. But if the life of any woman is ruined by my behavior, then people who made my behavior worse by their harsh comments would be the one who would be responsible, not me.

 

LOOOOOL

 

Sure. Construct a scenario that conveniently makes your behavior somebody else's fault.

 

You made a bunch of assertions in your OP and asked no questions, requested no help. You picked a fight and now you're playing victim.

 

You would do well to take a break from the internet and do some work on yourself before you take to broadly criticizing others and blaming them for your problems.

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As for the “sex as a weapon” comment - drop that too. You’re showing immaturity with that statement. Sex is most definitely used as a weapon by men. That’s called rape and sexual harassment.

 

When I said "using sex as a weapon", what I actually meant was using sex as a borrow tool, no tin the sense of rape or sexual harassment.

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I think part of the issue is you have a really kind of strange preconception of what sexual relationships are and get real bent out of shape when someone doesn't fit that mold -- and really, your beliefs are so outside the norm that no one is going to fit that mold. Women are all different and have their own priorities and their own brains and make their own decisions -- and just so you know, most of them, their Number 1 priority is NOT sex. It's high on the list of recreational fun, but it's not their religion and they don't feel it's their duty and owed to you. I know you can't see how out on the limb you are on this subject, but trust me, it reads pretty extreme.

 

If you don't like a woman, don't continue to date her. Easy-peasy.

 

No. My beliefs are not outside the norm. I just believe that it is really important for a women to desire her man sexually just as her man desires her sexually. Sex shouldn't be used as a favor or weapon. Here's the question for you: do you really believe that it is normal for a woman to give sex to men as favor?

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LOOOOOL

 

Sure. Construct a scenario that conveniently makes your behavior somebody else's fault.

 

You made a bunch of assertions in your OP and asked no questions, requested no help. You picked a fight and now you're playing victim.

 

You would do well to take a break from the internet and do some work on yourself before you take to broadly criticizing others and blaming them for your problems.

 

Well, I wouldn't act literally just because someone gave me some advice on the internet. However, opinions given on forums are given by real people, not by robots. I always get upset when I get called as a "misogynist" for fighting against hidden psychological abuse like sexual manipulation.

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I would have to disagree with you here. I’ve seen men use sex to get what they want. Both men and women can use sex (or withholding it) as a way to punish the other person or get something.

 

But I have to agree that I find that manipulative and wrong. I’ve seen many people on here recommend to stop having sex in order to get the other to do something. I don’t see that as a solution at all, IMO, it only creates more problems. Sex shouldn’t be a reward for doing the right thng or whatever.

 

I am glad you do understand what I mean. Unfortunately, some women don't understand that. They just label a man as a "misogynist" who fights against sexual manipulation.

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loversquarrel
As for the “sex as a weapon” comment - drop that too. You’re showing immaturity with that statement. Sex is most definitely used as a weapon by men. That’s called rape and sexual harassment.

 

No it isn't. Rape and sexual assault are crimes of violence and are not gender nor age specific. These are criminal acts, not the op's subject intention. Men can use sex as a weapon in much the same way women do without the use of violence, men can withold sex maliciously just as much as women can.

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