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Hot/Cold..help me figure him out


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I have written a little bit about this situation in other threads, but I decided to make a thread just for this. I am done trying to figure this out on my own and I regret times that I made rash relationship decisions without coming to LS first. So, here it is. I will try to make this as brief as possible.

 

I was dating this guy about 8 months ago. We lasted a mere 2 months because I broke up with him. He was a rebound from the bad breakup I had. He clinged to me, acted crazy about me, called too much, begged me to see him, but overall he was SOOO nice to me. I broke up with him, and he moved 5 hours away without telling me. By the time I found this out, I called him and we started talking again though not very frequently.

 

Up until about a month and a half ago we weren't talking regularly. But somehow that all changed. He started telling me how much he missed me, how he wanted us to get married even!

 

It scared me of course, but eventually I gave in and decided to drive 5 hours to go spend the weekend with him. Here are the important parts of that weekend:

 

*The first 2 days he acted CRAZY about me. He even told me he loved me, that he wanted me to move there to be with him, that he would find me a job, that he would even find FRIENDS for me!

 

I never acted responsive to this. When he told me he loved me I said "Yeah right." When he told me to move there I woudl tell him, "That wouldn't be wise of me, J. What if I move here away from everyone I know then you decide you don't like me anymore and I'm stuck here?" He would roll his eyes and say "Whatever."

 

*I started feeling jealous over him and told him to stop checking out girls in front of me at this bar we were at.

 

He told me he wanted to be exclusive with me and we wouldn't date others. I didn't agree to it I just looked at him like "yeah right" and he said "Why are you so insecure? Why don't you trust me?" I said "I don't know why but I don't trust you." I think I don't trust him because I question his sincerity for some reason.

 

*We went to the lake around a BUNCH of people I didn't know but they were his friends, and he didn't introduce me to them.

 

*At one point on the lake, he told me to pull my bikini bottoms over to flash him and I was like "NO WAY!" There were people on the boat! He got mad and walked off and I threw a towel at him and called him a jerk.

 

*I can't help but make comments about his ex-girlfriend who is one of my friends. When he would do something mean to me I would say "You are nice to her, but mean to me" He said I was annoying him with it.

 

*After the bikini incident he mouthed the words "I love you" and I was just like "Yeah RIGHT!"

 

*On the last day it was at his peak of being mean to me. We had sex that morning, and he got up and said "I feel gross now I have to take a shower" I got mad and said "You never walk off like that!" he just ignored me. Later that morning, I went and took a shower and when I came out I asked him to do something for me. He comes to the doorway and says "just so you know, it's a pet peeve of mine to be bossed around. You mumble too." Then walked off. I said "YOU KNOW WHAT MY PET PEEVE IS? SOMEONE WALKING OFF AFTER THEY HAVE SEX WTIH ME!" He just said, "well then I will need more practice."

 

*He walked me to my car and kissed me on the FOREHEAD!

 

*all that week (last week) we fought really bad. I was angry it took him 2 days to call me. When he finally called he was short and brief and it pissed me off so I yelled at him and he hung up on me but called back. I left him a text msg saying "So over it. Goodbye bitch."

 

*Next couple nights I drank myself to oblivion and would leave wacko voicemails telling him we would just be friends, that I'm dating 3 guys, that I was with this other guy and he was staying with me....."blah blah blah just trying to get a rise out of him.

 

*He always calls me back. But when he does he either hangs up on me or is a smart ass which is a total 180 from how I remember him.

 

*Last time I talked to him he asked me about this "other guy" I had told him the night before was going to stay with him. This guy was also caling the whole time I was with J for that weekend and he kept saying "LET ME ANSWER THAT!" and getting mad over it. I told him we were just friends and he says "It doesn't matter" then said "Have a good day" and hangs up!

 

I don't understand what is going on. I feel like I'm in love with him now, and the tables are turned. He's acting like he doesn't give a shyt about me now. What did I do?! Was it because I wasn't responsive to his "professions of love" and acted like I didn't believe a word he said? Did I ruin it with my mean voicemails and text messages? he always called back though...but does he just give up?

 

background:

He has a kid (and is depressed over that)

He attempted suicide 7 months ago

 

Is he just mentally unstable, over me completely now (and if so, what did I do wrong?), or is he f***ing with my mind? What can I do to fix this? I'm on day 3 of NC and he hasn't called me. What should I do? I hate how I'm feeling right now. I have been so mind f***ed. :mad:

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A Fly onThe Wall
Originally posted by XNemesisX

*He walked me to my car and kissed me on the FOREHEAD!

 

Ouch !!

 

If you have ever kissed a guy on his forehead did you do it because you wanted him or wanted to convey to him that you wanted it to go further ?

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:(

 

Well he kissed me on the lips first then jumped away and blamed it on my lip gloss.

 

Yeah right.

 

I just don't get it....how can he go from being WILDLY and I do mean WILDLY in love with me to kissing me on the forehead? Does it have anything to do with me being unresponsive and saying the things that I did???

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A Fly onThe Wall
Originally posted by XNemesisX

I just don't get it....how can he go from being WILDLY and I do mean WILDLY in love with me to kissing me on the forehead? Does it have anything to do with me being unresponsive and saying the things that I did???

 

I don't think it is anything you did or didn't do ..

 

He might have scared himself by rushing in too fast with you.. Kinda like whoa what am I doing here ..

 

If you think it is something like this then you need to decide if you want someone that might do that to you again and again

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I feel for ya girl.. My BF is the same way.. all about me one minute and the next he's an assclown...

 

Got to say though that when I notice it the most is when I'm bending the f'ck over backwards for him.. then he gets to be a real jackass and when I'm like what the f'ck ever then he's all about telling me he loves me, doesn't want to treat me bad.. blah blah... so the only conclusion i've come to is this...

 

The chase is so great.. getting to where you are is when they don't have any freaking idea what to do with it...

 

Ugh.. Good Luck

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You are right Merin and I HATE how it is this way.

 

I guess the only thing I can do right now is stick to NC and hope he calls me. I think I have done everything I can but I just hope he isn't backing off because he thinks that is what I want, because it isn't. :(

 

You know what really sucks? I'm finally over my f***tard ex and I finally like someone else...and then this happens.

 

Why can't I have things the way I want them!I feel like I could have a temper tantrum right now. I suck at life!

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But it also kinda bothers me that this guy is rejecting me because he is SO ugly. He is fat, bigger boobs than most women, jacked up grill....he's kind of a loser. He knocked up a minor, dropped out of college, and works some low paying crap job. Has no money.

 

But I still like him!

 

I'm obviously not as shallow as I thought. All my friends call him "Eeyore" because they say he looks retarded and acts goofy. Like a big doofus.

 

And he is rejecting me!

 

I don't think I'm all that attractive but I KNOW I'm better looking than him..by far. When we were out one night this guy came up to our table and said this to him, "Man you are doing a GOOD job to have her!" and laughed and walked off.

 

People stare at us when we are out and even on the trip one of his friends said to me, "what do you see in HIM?!" and laughed.

 

But he is rejecting me!

 

This just broke down any sort of ego I may have once had lol.

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Originally posted by XNemesisX

But it also kinda bothers me that this guy is rejecting me because he is SO ugly. He is fat, bigger boobs than most women, jacked up grill....he's kind of a loser. He knocked up a minor, dropped out of college, and works some low paying crap job. Has no money.

 

But I still like him!

 

I'm obviously not as shallow as I thought. All my friends call him "Eeyore" because they say he looks retarded and acts goofy. Like a big doofus.

 

And he is rejecting me!

 

I don't think I'm all that attractive but I KNOW I'm better looking than him..by far. When we were out one night this guy came up to our table and said this to him, "Man you are doing a GOOD job to have her!" and laughed and walked off.

 

People stare at us when we are out and even on the trip one of his friends said to me, "what do you see in HIM?!" and laughed.

 

But he is rejecting me!

 

This just broke down any sort of ego I may have once had lol.

 

Hang in there Girl...

 

It's Ironic in some ways to me that things seem to happen this way sometimes...

It also pisses me off :laugh:

 

My BF when he first met me told me he couldn't believe I would talk to him, that he felt I was out of his league blah blah... AND I would reassure him that he was crazy.. that to ME he is adorable and amazing... BUT honestly I think sometimes you can over do it in building someone elses self esteem to the point they get an inflated ego and heavy head... it's my opionion that happend with my BF and perhaps with this Guy you're talking about now...

 

I don't think he is really rejecting you Brooke... I think he is feeling cocky and he knows it's driving you crazy...

 

Don't let this bring you down girl...

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Thanks Merin...I feel quite a bit better now :o

 

I think I did inflate his ego. During the trip I would tell him how cute I thought he was and how funny he is. I also *cough* complimented a certain attribute of his.

 

Now he probably thinks he is the man and can get any girl he wants. I should have sabotaged his self-esteem and called him "Eeyore" or the hunchback of notre dame or something.

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Originally posted by XNemesisX

Thanks Merin...I feel quite a bit better now :o

 

I think I did inflate his ego. During the trip I would tell him how cute I thought he was and how funny he is. I also *cough* complimented a certain attribute of his.

 

Now he probably thinks he is the man and can get any girl he wants. I should have sabotaged his self-esteem and called him "Eeyore" or the hunchback of notre dame or something.

 

:laugh: You're Welcome Girl..

 

When I first met my BF he would tell me how he got shot down a lot when he was out so he stopped approaching girls... then about 2 months ago he told me he could have any woman he wants... uh.. :rolleyes:

 

Just let it ride for now girl.. he'll call you.

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XNemesisX, dump this guy. You want him, because he doesn't want you. Your description of him did not list one good thing that you admire about him.

 

Merin, your post was hilarious. Your patience is admirable. :laugh:

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