Hopeful30 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Read in an article the other day that although men love the idea of being with a 'perfect 10', most opt out and go for the average woman because less insecurity about having to ward off other men and keep competing to keep the woman. True? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Most men just go after who they are into. Shrugs. My friend has a bf and he considers her a perfect ten (she is though for rea) but yeah. I met my fiance randomly one day, as we walked past each other on the street; he liked what he saw instantly, but would have known I was not some perfect ten... But it is not like he CONSCIOUSLY went after me an average girl, for any known reason. He told me he goes after what he wants, and would never consider consciously selecting more "average" women on the basis of less competition, and he finds the concept rather odd. It is not like men all think their partners are super models, but many of them instantly see their partners as "hot" or "attractive" and feel chemistry, so while they do not outright think "right, she is average, not many men will go for her YAY":lmao: They also do not think "oh wow so she is a 9, or an 8 etc...:sick:". Some men just feel drawn/attracted to certain types of women without thinking twice about how hot they are to society. I can only speak on my and my Fiances behalf. He always dated attractive women (I have seen his exes) and always just went after the women he felt that he wanted, without putting much thought in as to how hot others viewed them; HE was into them and he purports that he could never get with a girl who he did not immediately find attractive. He also said that he does not put any stock into their rating to others and figures they are just "hot" or "attractive" to him and that is it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 When I was single and dating I can't say I dated many average women but I didn't prefer the perfect 10 because normally with those looks comes tons of baggage that just isn't worth all the high maintenance drama. All the perfect society 10's that I dated also weren't the best people inside or didn't have the best personality to match their looks so it wasn't a good match.. I married who I consider a 10, maybe not the model type of 10 that society calls a 10 but certainly a 10 in my eyes... and pants I think you are basically talking about settling rather than dating down because of competition... Settling can be just a readjustment of one's expectations and not a bad thing if kept in check... Dating is about finding out what we want thru figuring out what we don't want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 When I was single and dating I can't say I dated many average women but I didn't prefer the perfect 10 because normally with those looks comes tons of baggage that just isn't worth all the high maintenance drama. All the perfect society 10's that I dated also weren't the best people inside or didn't have the best personality to match their looks so it wasn't a good match.. I married who I consider a 10, maybe not the model type of 10 that society calls a 10 but certainly a 10 in my eyes... and pants I think you are basically talking about settling rather than dating down because of competition... Settling can be just a readjustment of one's expectations and not a bad thing if kept in check... Dating is about finding out what we want thru figuring out what we don't want. Exactly. I don't think when you truly love someone it really registers that "wow I find them so beautiful... Buuuut - they are not 10 to society":lmao: When my fiance sits there and he often tells me as we just watch TV " you're beautiful" or " you have a nice face" or etc etc. I think when you love someone, to them and their pants you are a ten in the sense that they would not change a thing (which is also a nice thing he throws in to the compliments)! I sincerely doubt when a man lovingly tells his partner they are beautiful, and at times gropes them in a vulgar manner and tells you verbally how horny you make them - that they even register your rating out of 10 LOL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 My boyfriend thinks I am a 10, the guy next door probably thinks I am a 7. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A man wants to be with a woman he feels attraction for, a woman could be a 10 in society's eyes and a 5 to his eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I think there’s a lot of truth in that but I think the reasons may no be as obvious as they seem. I think they’re looking more for low maintenance than high maintenance. Also, a lot of men can’t handle being with a beautiful woman. They become possessive, jealous, controlling, etc. So, when a guy screws up on that level and the woman leaves him, he’s mystified as to what went wrong and then selects someone more average looking because he believes she will be less inclined to leave him even when he acts like a jerk - which may or may not be true. A lot of men see beautiful women as having options and being less tolerant of bad behavior. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Read in an article the other day that although men love the idea of being with a 'perfect 10', most opt out and go for the average woman because less insecurity about having to ward off other men and keep competing to keep the woman. True? For some yes, but not really that common. They are attracted to more than the physical. Guys like to meet their emotional match just as much as women do. But I like to think my husband got the whole package when he met me 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Men want above average kind of women but looking like a model only goes so far. When you are spending that much time with somebody you need much more than looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful30 Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 Perfect 10 on a scale of greatness overall, not only physical appearance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 IME, women in general are all just as picky and as much work. Looks/status doesn't figure into that at all. Why? Demand, a dynamic created by the general perpetual male sexual drive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Studies have proven that relationships endure best when the man and woman are at a similar level lookswise. A man can spend more money to date up, but that doesn't mean she desires him on the primal level. In most cases if he's not as good-looking as she is, her desire will be lukewarm at best - but she'll enjoy the benefit$ as long as he keeps them coming. I think a lot of men are figuring out it's not very fulfilling to be with a woman who doesn't truly desire him. She'll look good on your arm, but won't go out of her way to please you in bed, for example. She might go through the motions to keep the benefits coming. But most men can tell the difference between going through the motions and genuinely striving to please. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I think there’s a lot of truth in that but I think the reasons may no be as obvious as they seem. I think they’re looking more for low maintenance than high maintenance. Also, a lot of men can’t handle being with a beautiful woman. They become possessive, jealous, controlling, etc. So, when a guy screws up on that level and the woman leaves him, he’s mystified as to what went wrong and then selects someone more average looking because he believes she will be less inclined to leave him even when he acts like a jerk - which may or may not be true. A lot of men see beautiful women as having options and being less tolerant of bad behavior. ^^^^All of this. Particularly the maintenance thing,...and the Hypergamy that ties into it. Actually I am not worried about the competition as much as I am mindful of the things you listed. As far as the competition, I believe in the adage "If a guy knows what he is doing, he doesn't have any competition". Most of the so-called competition won't know what they are doing and will shoot themselves down, you only have to stand back and watch. By the same token if I lost to the competition because I screwed it up, then it is on me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) most of the good looking women I've dated have been full of sh*t there is a saying that goes: "if a man wants a happy life he should have an ugly wife" Edited October 17, 2018 by alphamale Link to post Share on other sites
Art Anderson Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) Most people answering are getting this right. It's what your own mind is telling you, through what ever filters you were born with or developed from experience, that determines what is 5 or what is 10. I guess I'm pretty clueless and just like to be with someone I find interesting and who piques my curiosity and then sure, I'll look for physical things I like about them to help develop the whole thing into an attraction. I'm about as average as you can possibly get. I say that with confidence because several times I've walked into different restaurants, sat myself down, waited for service, been ignored for at least 15 minutes, put my jacket back on and walked out the door and not once did anyone speak to me or make eye contact. I'm invisible. I'd make a game of how long I could sit there without being noticed, instead of making a scene. F e'm. I wouldn't want to dine there anyway by that point. Meanwhile my friends occasionally remind me of the hot girls I used to go out with, and they say that in front of their own wives. What? is my usual reaction. Then I think back and yeah, I guess so. Example 1 - She was a girl I knew since grade 3. Always my friend and when we got to high school age and beyond, if neither of us had a boyfriend/girlfriend, we'd head out together. Why stay home alone? I took her one time to a military bar where you could bring a date in on Fridays. I come back to the table with our drinks and it's her surrounded by 5 guys in my unit taking up the other 5 chairs at the table. Really guys??? Example 2 - An actual girlfriend later in my mid twenties and again I seat her at an Italian restaurant, then go to the washroom. I come out and there are 3 waiters hovering over her. C[mon. By then I was used to it though and just amused. She was a neighborhood girl I'd see at parties where she would fight off the creeps and one time years before this dinner, she just asked straight up, when the hell I was going to ask her out. As long as you are honest with your own motivations and honest with the other person, I'd say do what feels like the right fit. Edited October 17, 2018 by Art Anderson Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 most of the good looking women I've dated have been full of sh*t I've noticed patterns with them. They have too many options so they get the kid in a candy store syndrome and can never decided on any guy because there is always another one out there that seem just a little better than what they have. So they friend-zone every guy they know till they burn through all the guys within their social circles till there are none left. Then they have to find a whole new group of friends and a new social circle to have a new supply of options. Eventually the years catch up with them, their looks fade, they don't have the options they used to have and end up feeling kind of "lost". To a degree this also happens with the men as well, particularly the ones who have an easy time picking up women. With the guys, I see this pattern particularly the PUA leaders and the "Dating Coaches", who seems to always be endlessly single in spite of the clear ability they have to meet and pickup women. No woman is ever good enough,...they always find something wrong with them, and move to the next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 IME, women in general are all just as picky and as much work. Looks/status doesn't figure into that at all. Why? Demand, a dynamic created by the general perpetual male sexual drive. Probably not as true as you think. I’ve never looked at things that way, but in retrospect, I think my past partners have seen it that way - although I’ve never been accused of being demanding or high maintenance (stubborn and independent have been pointed out, however). I don’t think most women understand their value to the man she’s with. In some ways, I wish I had understood the dynamics because I think I would’ve valued myself more and would’ve been more selective in general. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Studies have proven that relationships endure best when the man and woman are at a similar level lookswise. A man can spend more money to date up, but that doesn't mean she desires him on the primal level. In most cases if he's not as good-looking as she is, her desire will be lukewarm at best - but she'll enjoy the benefit$ as long as he keeps them coming. I think a lot of men are figuring out it's not very fulfilling to be with a woman who doesn't truly desire him. She'll look good on your arm, but won't go out of her way to please you in bed, for example. She might go through the motions to keep the benefits coming. But most men can tell the difference between going through the motions and genuinely striving to please. I would disagree with this. I was once completely nuts about a guy who wasn’t good looking at all but he was confident and smart as hell. I didn’t give a fig about his looks because his personality made up for it in spades. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I’d also add that I think men are mostly authentic so when they perceive a woman as high maintenance, that may also register as inauthentic. For example, the differences between the two single women on Gilligan’s island. When polled, most men preferred the more down-to-Earth girl to the more glamorous one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I’d also add that I think men are mostly authentic so when they perceive a woman as high maintenance, that may also register as inauthentic. For example, the differences between the two single women on Gilligan’s island. When polled, most men preferred the more down-to-Earth girl to the more glamorous one. you talkin' about Mary Ann and Ginger? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 Way too simplistic. First, this whole concept of a "ten" misrepresents things. In Hollywood, for example, is widely known that the most popular female stars aren't those who would "qualify" as perfect "tens." Second, I have found there to be a difference between a supposedly "ten-level" beautiful woman ... and a person who has sex appeal. People are as attracted to "sexy" as they are to "beautiful" ... and those are not the same. Beauty is just one quality ... and so is sexiness ... You'd be a fool to date or marry someone based on one quality ... People want smarts, stability, values, warmth, friendliness, I love super-smart women ... and that's something I can't determine until I talk to them. Spend a week with a beautiful woman who has few other qualities that you admire, and you'll want to bang your head against a wall. The whole "ten" thing applies more to high school and junior high than it does to adult dating. Frankly, I think adult dating is similar to job hunting. Sure, we want the highest-paying job ... and the ideal job ... We take what we can get and we make the most of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 For some reason people have this misconception that average/ugly/homely people have superior personalities because they can't get by on their looks and are less 'work' and impel less competition. IME, wrong. All a woman needs to do is put out the "I want to Fck" aura, regardless of looks, or even personality, and males will congregate because they all love the pussy. Seen it firsthand both while dating and while married. They can be just as bitchy and manipulative and downright evil as a room-stopping eleven. IMO, there is no correlation at all between what the guy/society perceives as appearance and who they are as people. Zero. Room stoppers simply get noticed more often and analyzed more often and others insecurities projected upon them more often. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I wanted to have sex with Ginger and wanted Mary Ann to cook for me... Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I wanted to have sex with Ginger and wanted Mary Ann to cook for me... Have Mrs Howell "Lovey" do the cooking. In the bed put Ginger on one side and Mary Ann on the other side. It's all about balance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) you talkin' about Mary Ann and Ginger? Yep - that’s who I’m talking about. I couldn’t remember one of the names. Edited October 17, 2018 by bathtub-row Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 The really hot girl was faith despite all the advances she got. The average girl was not. its funny how life works e32 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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