Can your report a co-worker for slapping you?

[TheDingo]

It happened outside workplace. It was a social gathering.

 

We were debating about abortion and when I didn't agree with her, she slapped me hard. I decided not to make a scene nor do anything but that's really uncalled for.

 

Imagine if I had been one of those male feminist that hits women back or if I had slapped a girl for disagreeing with me on a topic. I did nothing but could I have reported it and get her fired??? I'm stuck with her at my workplace.

[Logo]

I take it you’re a male.

 

What did you say to her just before she slapped you?

 

What’s a male feminist?

[TheDingo]

Yes, I'm male.

I was disagreeing with her when she kept saying (in such an arrogant tone) that it's a woman body and she can do whatever the heck she wants to and that it's too bad if she wants to abort it or keep it. I argued against that point and she slapped me.

 

Male feminist are the ones that keep promoting that equality means punching or hitting back women like men. They are extremists. I have to say that if there is one thing I agree with them is why is it that if a man says something the woman doesn't agree with or were to call her a name, it already guarantees a slap? Vice-versa and all hell breaks loose. It should be unacceptable to hit anyone, whether male or female.

Edited September 25, 2018 by TheDingo

[central]

If it was a work gathering, then yes, you can. If it was not, then you can report the assault to the police. Once the police report has been filed, you could send a copy to HR.

[preraph]

Oh, YES. What a horrible person to slap you. You should definitely report it. I don't care where it happened. And if they won't do anything because it didn't happen at work, they should still know she's this over the edge and violent. You shouldn't have to work with someone who slapped you. I feel if they employer doesn't do anything, call the EEOC (employment commission) and ask them if the employer should do something or not.

 

Technically, you could file assault charges, but there's no proof at this point unless there were witnesses and you can give police their names.

 

A coworker came randomly into my office and threw an ashtray against the wall and I reported him forthwith and they fired him.

[spiderowl]

It is worth reporting it to the police and work, even if work do nothing. Apart from the fact that her behaviour is unacceptable, work will probably want to be aware that they have a potentially violent member of staff. If she behaves like this with one person, she could do it again with someone else. She may well have a history.

 

I am sorry this happened to you. It is understandable that a woman might disagree in the strongest terms (in a discussion) as to whether she has rights over her own body or not, but resorting to violence when violence has not been used against her is unacceptable. I am assuming in all this that you were not physically or verbally abusive towards her.

Edited September 25, 2018 by spiderowl

[TheDingo]

I am assuming in all this that you were not physically or verbally abusive towards her.

No, I wasn't.

[d0nnivain]

There is something to be said for making a fresh report. If this happened yesterday feel free to report her to HR & the police. If it happened more then 6 months ago, you are pushing it. No matter what I would speak to her privately, demand an apology & tell her that there will be consequences if she assaults you again.

[MountainGirl111]

Battery is a criminal offense involving the unlawful physical acting upon a threat, distinct from assault which is the act of creating apprehension of such contact.

 

Battery is a specific common law misdemeanor, although the term is used more generally to refer to any unlawful offensive physical contact with another person, and may be a misdemeanor or a felony, depending on the circumstances. Battery was defined at common law as "any unlawful and or unwanted touching of the person of another by the aggressor, or by a substance put in motion by him."[1] In most cases, battery is now governed by statutes, and its severity is determined by the law of the specific jurisdiction.-wikipedia

 

 

 

 

I would say what she did to you is battery. I don't if it was provoked or not provoked or exactly what words led up to it. But likely there was a heated discussion?

 

Yes you can report it and SHOULD report it. When people get away with these kinds of things it doesn't get better. In my last workplace and man kicked a woman in the butt. She should have filed charges, but didn't. What he did was totally unlawful. She was afraid to report because he was considered to be in a higher position than she was and she was afraid to lose her job.

 

I also think many people do not understand what constitutes verbal abuse and it does occur in the workplace and there should be a zero tolerance policy on that.

 

I tend to stay away from debating about abortion. There are strong feelings involved on both sides and it doesn't usually end well.

Edited September 25, 2018 by MountainGirl111

[MountainGirl111]

Assault is the intent to do bodily harm.

 

Battery is the action of doing bodily harm. (following through on the assault)

 

[Harm can have various meanings, I suppose.] What kind of harm are we talking about here?

 

If there is a situation in which someone is pushed, provoked, in other words incited...that may change how a prosecutor looks at the case.

[MountainGirl111]

I'm going to go on a little rant here. Please bear with me.

 

Men are abused and assaulted. Battered TOO!!!!

 

Men can be abused mentally and emotionally. Women can use various methods to do this. Put downs, controlling, guilt, manipulation, with holding affection, threats, being very demanding, lack of support,lack of care, neglect. addiction. The list goes on of ways women can be anywhere from down right abusive to just not a very nice/good partner.

 

Put downs in particular really get to men and abuse them mentally/emotionally. I've witnessed how some women talk to their husbands or partners and I just cringe. Some women are never happy and are hard to deal with. It's never GOOD ENOUGH. That really wears a person down after awhile.

 

 

Women are more in touch with their emotions, but are not always good about managing their emotions and men are not always good at being in touch with their emotions.

[preraph]

It's true if a lot of time has passed, it just isn't quite as credible, but I would still report her. I'd tell them I waited to see if she was ever going to feel remorse about it and apologize, but that she never did so now you feel you are working in a hostile work environment and that you knew her employer would want to know about the incident.

 

You can go make a police report first and tell them that if you want. I don't think anything much will come of it, but if they're not too busy, they might go get her side of it. You know, these disputes, the police often have a hard time knowing who to believe unless you can show marks. Anyone can lie. She could say you hit her first.

[beatcuff]

there is a big difference between right and correct. yes can you do as the others suggest BUT one only has to look at the current situation with SCOTUS. so you go to HR. they get her very different version. oh and then add you are much bigger, there was drinking involved, yada, yada. even if you have witnesses will they might say 'it got heated' or you were in her face... now where are at.

 

a more measured approach should be taken: act as if never happened, she maybe more embarrassed than you were offended. then in a couple of months decide whether to continue to socialize with her, either way i suggest you steer clear of those topics in the future.

Edited September 25, 2018 by beatcuff
clarify

[MountainGirl111]

It happened outside workplace. It was a social gathering.

 

We were debating about abortion and when I didn't agree with her, she slapped me hard. I decided not to make a scene nor do anything but that's really uncalled for.

 

Imagine if I had been one of those male feminist that hits women back or if I had slapped a girl for disagreeing with me on a topic. I did nothing but could I have reported it and get her fired??? I'm stuck with her at my workplace.

 

You certainly can report it. I don't know if it will get her fired or not. That depends upon the management/administration where you work.

 

This was in public, so you also have witnesses, yes?

 

There's no need to slap someone for goodness sakes. I'm not a slapper per se...haha...

 

Okay, be serious.

 

Now, in domestic disputes in particular women can provoke and also hit a man and he can defend himself if he needs to and then who knows what else. I don't envy cops, I really don't. And I think they should get paid a lot more than they do. Domestic disputes are some of the worst call out. When/if the case goes to court the prosecuter is going to take a look at the "big picture"... how the fight erupted, what all happened and many other factors....

 

A person should be able to go to work and not feel threatened. By ANYONE. Period.

 

Good job on doing nothing. That actually takes more strength than hitting back would. Or, just leaving the situation. Sometimes when things escalate a person needs to leave. That's is the best bet. However you follow it up, maybe talk with a trusted individual and decide what to do. Does your workplace take these things seriously? Some don't. Or, they don't until someone takes a stand.

Edited September 25, 2018 by MountainGirl111

[bathtub-row]

I don’t know a thing about the laws in this type of situation but just wanted to say that this girl is a true jerk. I hate it when women hit men but expect them to never do such a thing to them. I realize that there are double standards with both sexes but what she did was truly uncalled for. Now, I occasionally swat at guts playfully but it’s more flirtatious and never done in anger. That’s a completely different thing.

 

And the poster above is very correct - there are a lot of men out there who are abused. I know a guy in that situation. He’s strong, tall and could beat his wife senseless if it came down to it. But she manipulates him with the kids and could easily shout abuse to the police. It’s a horrible situation. Once his kids are grown, he fully intends to leave her. Those situations are just as bad for men as they are for women.

[stillafool]

Report her immediately! She would damn well report you if you were the one who slapped her. Who does she think she is to physically abuse someone who disagrees with her. Don't let her get away with this.

[MountainGirl111]

I knew this one couple real well. He is about 6'4" and she is 5 foot 2. He could restrain her physically, I suppose and he could overcome her in a physical fight, but he would never do that because he just wouldn't. It's not in him.

 

But over I years they had a lot strife in their marriage and from the very beginning she was very insecure about her attractiveness and whether/if he truly loved her. That's a terrible foundation to start a marriage with. I don't think she loved herself. Therefore it was hard for her to love him. And, she didn't act like she loved him.

 

She insisted the house be perfect. He was more lax in that area. She was picky about certain things and nagged him all*the*time. If it wasn't one thing it was another. She used the kids to get his guilt worked up and even would use one of the kids and pit that kid against Dad.

 

I mean, c'mon. The guy always worked and was a good provider. The kids lacked for nothing materialistically....but sadly, they lack a mom and dad that ever got along. And they lacked a mom who didn't really show love and tenderness to their Dad.

 

When kids were grown they did split up and no one, I mean no one was surprised.

 

She often used the "silent treatment" to get back at him for something he should have done or done differently. I tell you what she may have been 5 foot 2, but she ran circles about this 6 foot 4 man. It was sad to witness. I think perhaps she was shown the silent treatment growing up. She felt neglected as a child while her two other siblings were more doted on. Sad.

 

But they are divorced and both quickly moved on to other relationships.

 

Now he is with someone more like him and more compatible and she really loves him and shows it.

[MountainGirl111]

Most areas are passed the Old West when there wasn't much of anything to report stuff to. Nowadays things can be reported much more which lead up to investigation of the case/situation.

 

Tell ya little story and it won't take long...

 

My Grand-dad somehow got the feeling his second wife had it in for him. He was a wealthy cattle rancher. She could off him and inherit all he had...or she thought she could. I don't know if he had a will or not...anyhow, what did he do to test this out? [he was a smart and calculating man, excellent poker player]

 

They went for a horse back ride one day and they always took their guns with with them, each one. Before they left he unloaded her gun....but she didn't know that. He took off ridin' in front with her following along behind. She called out his name and said, "______, look at this". So, he stopped his horse, turned around to face her and she pointed the unloaded gun at him, pulled the trigger and it went "click".

 

Of COURSE the divorce then couldn't come soon enough!! Aye yi yi........

 

My dad wouldn't talk about it much except to say she was crazy and he didn't like her. I mean, c'mon. Who would paint a ranch house pink? C'mon........

Edited September 25, 2018 by MountainGirl111

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I feel for both sides of this situation.

 

One the one hand, assaulting some is not acceptable, and yes you could report her to the police and potentially your employer too.

 

However, on the other hand, I can see why having a man tell you that you should have no right to make the difficult decision to have an abortion could trigger feelings of defensiveness and also anger, especially if the woman herself has experienced this, or someone she is close to.

 

Again, I am not saying slapping you was okay, because it isn't, but I can see how easily the situation could have blown up, especially if you were all drinking. A woman's body and reproductive rights are hugely sensitive issues that really shouldn't be discussed in this sort of environment.

 

You are free to do whatever you feel is right, but with someone's career potentially on the line, I would personally take time to consider whether this was an isolated incident due to the nature of the discussion that got way out of hand or whether it was just an excuse on her part to be violent.

 

I don't disagree with the stance of the other posters at all, but I did want to provide another perspective for you to consider.