skier8000 Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Ok so my husband has known me like forever.JJr.High and on up.Well over time since we been adults our weight has changed.I started in 2014 an account and was trying to find ways to stay healthy and lose weight.Well the hard thing is when I want to work on eating healthy and losing weight,my husband doesn’t seem supportive at all.Like he says things at times how he just wants to be fat and happy and I don’t want to be like that.Now I’m not like 300 pounds or 200 pounds but I do want to be a much smaller size like when I was growing up and if I want to have kids one day I want to be a good weight to have them.How do any of you all deal with a partner when only one of you seems to care about what you eat,exercising etc? I mean it’s hard already at times to be healthy with all the bad things in the world but having to deal with it when the one you married to doesn’t seem supportive what are you all thoughts and suggestions??? Link to post Share on other sites
Garcon1986 Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Is this the first time he's not supporting you or is this the symptom of a longer trend? One approach is to ask him to join you and make it easy for him, and by that I mean ask him to make changes that don't really take much - or are easy for him to do. If he's really resistant to fully supporting you, try to find a workout girlfriend who is more supportive of your goals? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Do you want to have children with a man who doesn't care whether they are healthy? Sometimes we outgrow our childhood sweethearts. Sounds harsh I know but wanting the best for your family (including their health!) would be a basic requirement for me. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 As someone who has maintained a regimented diet and training program my whole life(I'm not super nuts about it, like some I will eat junk or fatty foods on occasion)it never concerned me what someone else does or doesn't do....If you want to come aboard, great, if not, I am on my own...I don't expect many people to follow my lifestyle plan...It works for me, but its not easy and you need to be committed. . Most don't have it in them.. Do what's best for you. if he isn't into it, but you still love him, then let it be...If you are absolutely bent on having a partner who sees your way, then you might have to make a painful life choice.. TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Stop talking to him about it. If you do the food shopping but healthy stuff & no more junk. Make healthy meals that are tasty & serve yourself smaller portions but let him eat his fill. When I need to lose weight I get all the booze out of my house. DH isn't thrilled but he knows that if drinks I will consume empty calories too so he grits his teeth & bares it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 23, 2018 Share Posted September 23, 2018 Do what's best for you. if he isn't into it, but you still love him, then let it be... There you go. I'm fit and work at it and my wife is not and does not. But just as my fitness doesn't solely define me, neither does her lack thereof. We all bring different strengths to a relationship and long-term success is about accentuating the positive. His participation - or non - shouldn't affect your ability to reach your goals. Find other support and partners for this part of your life... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 25, 2018 Share Posted September 25, 2018 Does he mind what you do for yourself in terms of diet or only when you impose the diet on him? If it is the former, then he doesn't want you to change. If the latter, he doesn't want to bother about his weight. It's obviously healthier to be slimmer but people have the right to choose what they want to do and to decide whether they are happy with their own weight or not. It is not anyone else's business. The only thing I wonder about here is whether he has some interest in keeping you heavier. There are people who find heavier people more desirable (or more controllable, hard to know the motivation). These people will actively battle to undermine a partner's attempts to diet or get fit. This is entirely different from not wanting to be put on a diet themselves. They have an emotional interest in their partner being heavier. At its most extreme, some people have what amounts to a 'fetish' in that they want their partner to put on more and more weight. It is hard to understand such a motivation. If your partner is reluctant to go on a diet, then why not just go on one yourself? Do you really need his support to do this? If he is trying to stop YOU dieting and eating healthier, then it might be worth questioning him about what is motivating him to discourage you from losing weight. This is hard to deal with unless you know what his real motivations are. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 26, 2018 Share Posted September 26, 2018 I am in a similar situation, I like to watch what I eat and drink, my husband used to be a chef and he likes to cook very fatty foods (he's overweight), I have to battle him in the kitchen. If I didn't go and buy the vege's, we wouldn't eat any! I just join him in the kitchen and prepare and cook the vege's myself and advise him on how I want my meat cooked. I used to do heaps of walking and swimming before I met him, that stopped until recently, I just decided one day that I'd start walking to work. You just have to take charge of yourself. Interestingly, since I've been doing this, he's stopped drinking alcohol and has started buying vege's too and he's lost 10kg! Link to post Share on other sites
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