Jump to content

Dating people you are not really into.


Recommended Posts

Have you ever done this before? Was there a reason behind it? I will say that I have done this, even though calling it "dating" would be wrong on some levels, but I digress. I remember a long time ago, I was not in a good place. I was bitter about being single and just plain negative. I remember this female friend told me that a friend of hers liked me, whom I was also talking to frequently at the time. I was not sure if I believed it at first, because there were no signs of anything at first (Unless I was too blind to see it), and then the signs became clear soon after. The girl asked me out, and then I said yes. But before all that, I had to think it over, but my conscience got me, as I started to think it could have been my ticket to getting lucky, as well as having a mindset of "She'll do, I guess." Of course, it became clear to the girl that I was not into her as she did most of the calling and asked if I could come over, but I either had plans or told her that I had no way of getting there (I didn't drive at the time, plus she lived 30 minutes away driving distance). She was not happy about it and dumped me after two and a half weeks. Of course, I don't really count that as a relationship. I think I did it just to gain experience.

 

Have you ever led anybody on? Or did it for the experience? What was it?

Link to post
Share on other sites

of course I've led girls on, mainly just for the sex. and yes, most of these situations were one where she was into me a lot more than I was into her.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yea I have and hoped my feelings would grow but they never did.

 

If anything it made me feel worse because I let someone down by making them think I was interested when in my heart I knew I wasn’t but my head tried to convince me that I should’ve been.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sort of - some details are in other threads here. I was raw from a breakup and ended up in a FWB with someone in my department which turned into us dating. There was compatibility (values, personality, sex) in a lot of ways and I felt that she should be the right person for me, but there was just something missing that I couldn't explain, I was having fun though so I just kept going with it.

 

I finally started to develop feelings over the past week or two, far later than most people would have had the patience for. Sometimes there is a part of your intuition that just knows whether someone is right. If you're not into them and you can't see them being a good fit for you, you know you shouldn't be with them. If you're there just for the sex you're being dishonest and about to create a big mess for yourself - unless you're both just enjoying the sex and not really into each other.

Link to post
Share on other sites

When I tried OLD I went on 1 date each with 2 men that I wasn't all that crazy about. Both dates were awkward & uncomfortable. After that I got off OLD & realized it's cruel to be kind.

Link to post
Share on other sites
of course I've led girls on, mainly just for the sex. and yes, most of these situations were one where she was into me a lot more than I was into her.

 

Same here... many times.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

No, never led anyone on, but have been led on before. I have gone on dates to please the people who had set me up, either family or friends but if I didn't feel a connection after the initial date I didn't take it any further ( Either told them directly, or the people who set us up) I cannot fake being into someone if I am not.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't led anyone one. I've been unsure, or leaning towards breaking things off, but hadn't reached a clear decision. Once I was clear, I'd break it off, or discuss the options of friendship or FWB, if that seemed suitable.

 

I've gone on many first and second dates - even third dates - before deciding about someone. That's what dating is about - learning about them, and about yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear

I'm too much of a loner to bother with that....I don't need company for the sake of company...

 

But if someone does this knowingly, its kinda cruel...Guys do this all the time to get laid...And women seem to do it because they just like the attention of a guy, even if they don't really care for him...

 

It's not nice on any level..

 

TFY

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Guys do this all the time to get laid...And women seem to do it because they just like the attention of a guy, even if they don't really care for him...

 

And yet those needs can become symbiotic - guys will give attention to get sex, and women will put out to get attention.

 

So in that case, is anyone being taken advantage of?

 

Mr. Lucky

Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear
And yet those needs can become symbiotic - guys will give attention to get sex, and women will put out to get attention.

 

So in that case, is anyone being taken advantage of?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

As long as everyone knows the other's true intentions, then no one is being taken advantage of...But you know that practically never happens...;)

 

TFY

Link to post
Share on other sites
And yet those needs can become symbiotic - guys will give attention to get sex, and women will put out to get attention.

 

So in that case, is anyone being taken advantage of?

If the relationship is mutually beneficial, I don't see any problems with it.
As long as everyone knows the other's true intentions, then no one is being taken advantage of...But you know that practically never happens...;)
Unfortunately, this seems to be the case. I've given attention (and more) plenty of times, but sex never happened. I've seen plenty of threads on here from women saying they had sex, but received little to no attention from the men in question.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm too much of a loner to bother with that....I don't need company for the sake of company...

 

But if someone does this knowingly, its kinda cruel...Guys do this all the time to get laid...And women seem to do it because they just like the attention of a guy, even if they don't really care for him...

 

It's not nice on any level..

 

TFY

 

same here. I am black and white kind of person. either I am into or not. If I am not, I would rather be alone than have anything to do with that person.

 

don't think I have been really let on. guess I am just a very picky and critical person to be let on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

yes i have done this out of sympathy...and its not right.....i don't do this anymore....ack a gecko just crawled near me.....not fond of reptillians..not close to me...on tv is ok...ok going now.....deb

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...