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Feel like crying...A woman just can't get a break from her appearance


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Old 20th September 2018, 10:39 PM   #31
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Oh, just saw Jack Ma on CNN. damn, he is got to be one of those no good looking people out there. but he obviously is not measured by his look.

maybe because I am 'superficial' and focus too much on physical and feeling...but I can't deny it. I just am into how things look and feel.
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Old 21st September 2018, 2:52 AM   #32
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but for a guy like him, I probably need to be perfect.
When you say you'd have to be perfect for a guy like him, it makes no sense. The only thing you know about him is that he's hot and that he's taken to staring at your face...which is just weird. "Normal" would be if he smiled at you.

Anyway, he could be dumber than a box of hammers. He could have have really bad social skills. He could have a girlfriend. He could be gay. He might be a workaholic with no time to date. He might spend far too long gazing at himself in the mirror. He might stare at random women for no reason.

The fact that a guy is good looking means NOTHING about what kind of man he is.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 4:51 PM   #33
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You feel that you need to be perfect. Does the guy have to be perfect too? Why? Is this practical? Why do you feel you need makeup?
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Old 22nd September 2018, 10:45 PM   #34
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When you say you'd have to be perfect for a guy like him, it makes no sense. The only thing you know about him is that he's hot and that he's taken to staring at your face...which is just weird. "Normal" would be if he smiled at you.

Anyway, he could be dumber than a box of hammers. He could have have really bad social skills. He could have a girlfriend. He could be gay. He might be a workaholic with no time to date. He might spend far too long gazing at himself in the mirror. He might stare at random women for no reason.

The fact that a guy is good looking means NOTHING about what kind of man he is.
sigh...so many possibilities...what do I do then? try to talk to him first to find out and eliminate all possibilities before I go too crazy for nothing? I guess. but I am shy.

He has never smiled at me. so that means there is nothing? oh, man, forget about this. damn, I was really attracted, I supposed. I could not calm down for hours after I met him at the elevator.

yes, now a day, every half decent man is taken, especially in my city when women outnumbered men. What made me think he is not?

Last edited by Springsummer; 22nd September 2018 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 22nd September 2018, 10:59 PM   #35
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sigh...so many possibilities...what do I do then? try to talk to him first to find out and eliminate all possibilities before I go too crazy for nothing? I guess. but I am shy.

He has never smiled at me.
What you do is get your expectations in check. You've got yourself going crazy about a guy who you know nothing about based on nothing more than his looks.

After that, you've got two choices

1. be shy and let him approach if/when he's interested.

2. be proactive, smile and say "hi" if you see him in the building. If you're in gym gear and looking unpolished, have the confidence to not care.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 11:04 PM   #36
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What you do is get your expectations in check.
Absolutely.

This will also help you to be calmer and not as emotionally reactive.
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Old 22nd September 2018, 11:49 PM   #37
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True. No sure how to increase self esteem. I can't change the facts that I am short and no longer young. but, I am slim and 34d and have no complaints of my facial features. but for a guy like him, I probably need to be perfect.
What's perfect? Please. Any man (or woman for that matter) who expects their partner to be physically "perfect" is not a good partner. Don't get hung up on superficial BS. Personality and values are much more important in the long run that body shape and breast size. Shallow people only emphasize the physical and that's pretty gross.
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Old 24th September 2018, 8:26 PM   #38
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Springsummer, my gf is great at her makeup. She spends up to an hour some mornings and it looks amazing. But... I couldn't care less. She looks awesome to me with or without makeup. In fact I love her 'just woken up' look more than anything else, partly because I know it's only me that ever gets to see her like that, but mainly because I love everything about her.

The right guy will see beyond whatever decoration is applied and love you for who you are. He won't worry about how tall you are, how long it takes you to get ready, what clothes or makeup you're wearing. If he does, he simply doesn't deserve you. Quit thinking about what you need to do to get one particular guy's attention - and wait for the one who will love you in whatever form you come in
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Old 24th September 2018, 9:57 PM   #39
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Springsummer, my gf is great at her makeup. She spends up to an hour some mornings and it looks amazing. But... I couldn't care less. She looks awesome to me with or without makeup. In fact I love her 'just woken up' look more than anything else, partly because I know it's only me that ever gets to see her like that, but mainly because I love everything about her.

The right guy will see beyond whatever decoration is applied and love you for who you are. He won't worry about how tall you are, how long it takes you to get ready, what clothes or makeup you're wearing. If he does, he simply doesn't deserve you. Quit thinking about what you need to do to get one particular guy's attention - and wait for the one who will love you in whatever form you come in
AWW......how sweet...
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Old 25th September 2018, 7:09 AM   #40
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You need to be who you are, whether he’s around or not. If you’re happy with your look, then be happy with it. If you honestly think you look bad, then change how you dress and look every day - not just when you think you’ll run into him. That’s silly. Besides, why aren’t you putting your best foot forward every day where your appearance is concerned? If you’re running from someone when they appear, then that means you’re ashamed of how you look. Why would you walk around like that? If it’s because you’ve been exercising or something like that, then I’m sure he would understand that. Otherwise, you should rethink that. And btw, glasses can be very sexy. Make up isn’t that big of a deal. It takes me maybe 10 min in the morning. If I could get away with not wearing it, I would, but I look too pale.

I mean, what would you do if you started dating this guy? Show him a fake side of you and when you get comfortable, start looking bad again? That doesn’t work. You should be authentic.

Last edited by bathtub-row; 25th September 2018 at 7:12 AM..
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Old 25th September 2018, 7:39 AM   #41
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As others have said, just be yourself! A good man will be attracted to YOU, not your makeup.
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Old 25th September 2018, 12:07 PM   #42
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Alpha Female

Release your inner "Alpha Female", honey! Do what makes YOU feel good. Stay away from toxic people. Stay away from people who are controlling. Stay away from mean and vindictive people. That means you don't hang out with them....

BUT: If you by chance run into them, be proud of who you are and don't shrink away like a withering violet.

This is similar to not running away from someone you're attracted to. Just smile and say "Hi" or wave or something like that. You don't really know him, so don't get all excited over someone just because of looks/appearance.

I second what someone said about the 5 minute makeup application if that's for you. Some gals don't like to wear makeup and that's OKAY!! If you are CONFIDENT enough to go without makeup that says a lot about you. I wear makeup every day, but I put it on in such a way that I still look natural. Maybe that could be the look you're going for.

Anyhow...it sounds like to me you need to build up your self confidence a little...learn to be a go getter.....release your inner "Alpha Female". Yes, there are alpha female in nature and alpha males in nature too...same with human beings. .....

YOU have the power within you to decide what you want in life and go for it. For myself, part of that is I want to live in such a way that I garner respect. If I'm dating someone and they don't treat me with respect....or if they treat me like an object....no, that's not going to work. No, no, the alpha female decides what's best and people respect her. But, most of all...........an alpha female has SELF RESPECT....if a person respects theirself, it doesn't matter much either way...your OWN self respect is what is most important.

Last edited by MountainGirl111; 25th September 2018 at 12:16 PM..
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Old 25th September 2018, 12:50 PM   #43
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glasses

Honey, there is NOTHING wrong with wearing glasses.

I've worn glasses for most of my life. I still feel attractive. Try to pick out frames that are flattering and up to date. My frames right now are "Juicy Couture" tourtise shell...these days some people who don't even need glasses wear them just for fun because they like the look! I get new frames almost everything year. Two years ago I had Jimmy Choo frames. They have sparkles in them and a gal at work copied me and was inspired to get sparkle frames too. We had fun with that!!

At my last job, I used to set trends with my glasses. I'd get new up to date cute frames and others would do that too. We had fun with it.

Now then: If you wear glasses you are maybe going to be seen as being the intellectual type.

Glasses can also be sexy.

Here's a good motto I heard once: "Work hard, be nice, and have fun".

And remember: Alpha Females don't take crap off no one....err....maybe that was redneck girls that don't take crap off no one. That's what my Dad taught me. If someone is horning in on your life and starts dictating to you you tell them to "Get off my land!"...in other words: Go away.

Last edited by MountainGirl111; 25th September 2018 at 12:57 PM..
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Old 25th September 2018, 10:08 PM   #44
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Springsummer, my gf is great at her makeup. She spends up to an hour some mornings and it looks amazing. But... I couldn't care less. She looks awesome to me with or without makeup. In fact I love her 'just woken up' look more than anything else, partly because I know it's only me that ever gets to see her like that, but mainly because I love everything about her.

The right guy will see beyond whatever decoration is applied and love you for who you are. He won't worry about how tall you are, how long it takes you to get ready, what clothes or makeup you're wearing. If he does, he simply doesn't deserve you. Quit thinking about what you need to do to get one particular guy's attention - and wait for the one who will love you in whatever form you come in

However, I remember a comedian once said, a man is as faithful as his options.

Maybe you just do not have enough options. If you do, then you can come back and tell me you still feel the same to your gf.
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Old 25th September 2018, 10:19 PM   #45
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Release your inner "Alpha Female", honey! Do what makes YOU feel good. Stay away from toxic people. Stay away from people who are controlling. Stay away from mean and vindictive people. That means you don't hang out with them....

BUT: If you by chance run into them, be proud of who you are and don't shrink away like a withering violet.

This is similar to not running away from someone you're attracted to. Just smile and say "Hi" or wave or something like that. You don't really know him, so don't get all excited over someone just because of looks/appearance.

I second what someone said about the 5 minute makeup application if that's for you. Some gals don't like to wear makeup and that's OKAY!! If you are CONFIDENT enough to go without makeup that says a lot about you. I wear makeup every day, but I put it on in such a way that I still look natural. Maybe that could be the look you're going for.

Anyhow...it sounds like to me you need to build up your self confidence a little...learn to be a go getter.....release your inner "Alpha Female". Yes, there are alpha female in nature and alpha males in nature too...same with human beings. .....

YOU have the power within you to decide what you want in life and go for it. For myself, part of that is I want to live in such a way that I garner respect. If I'm dating someone and they don't treat me with respect....or if they treat me like an object....no, that's not going to work. No, no, the alpha female decides what's best and people respect her. But, most of all...........an alpha female has SELF RESPECT....if a person respects theirself, it doesn't matter much either way...your OWN self respect is what is most important.
Thank you so much for all the advice. I really appreciate it.

Alpha female...go getter...um...I have never been any of these I guess. but I have always respect myself I guess....or not, in this case, if I think I am not adequate for a hot guy, then I am not respecting myself? um...My brain is spinning.
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