LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > General > General Relationship Discussion

Why the first thing people want to know is your age?


General Relationship Discussion Everything else under the sun. Not sure where to post? This is the place!

Like Tree20Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 14th September 2018, 10:44 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 906
Why the first thing people want to know is your age?

So this week I sat with 2 group of people for lunch on different day. They all want to know how old I am. and they will ask in different ways like when did you come to this country? how old were you when you finish school in your home country. and the boss of my boss will ask if I my ex boss is older or younger than me(that's actually a compliment as I am actually at least 10 yrs older than the ex boss?) after I refuse to tell.

you know, this is a question I am really uncomfortable to answer. Especially almost all have them have children and above me career wise. and in fact their actual age may not be much older than me.

but I guess they have a good guess now.

why? why the heck they are so care? urg.....hates hates this. sometimes I really don't want to socialize. what should I feel and think about this?

Last edited by Springsummer; 14th September 2018 at 10:48 PM..
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2018, 10:52 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 906
and also got an work email from someone that she is on maternity leave. heck it seems I only saw her a few months ago and I didn't see any bump. People get 1 yr of paid maternity/paternity leave here. I can't even find someone, not even remotely.

sigh, the world is driving me half crazy.
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2018, 11:06 PM   #3
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 20,828
They care for the same reason we care on here when someone tells us a problem and we have to ask how old they and the others involved are because it directly relates to maturity or lack thereof, ability to foresee consequences of our actions, naivety, idealism of youth. So if someone is talking trash or is being dramatic, we want to know if they're just young or if they're really messed up!
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14th September 2018, 11:09 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 9,947
Asking questions is a normal part of conversation and 'getting to know you'. If you don't want to tell people about yourself or don't want to socialise, perhaps sitting alone with a book would be a better option for you.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 12:05 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 2,340
how old are ya anyway ???
Sorry , couldn't resists

Nah l hate that question too.
l dunno why , l think because people usually think l'm much younger and l fit in and get along really well with people much younger .
where as although l might get along ok with or have some nice chats wiith someone older, really l'll have nothing in common apart from that.

It is a typical question though l suppose even if they think they're being clever about it, l get that too.
You might also though be too one of these people that could be any age give or take 15 years and this does make people even more curious than usual too.
Chilli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 5:48 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 913
In this day and age, I get the impression from a lot of people that they ask about age simply to pigeonhole someone and put him or her in a mental box.


There are plenty of other questions people can ask besides, "How old are you?" Why does it matter, anyway? I don't see it as a conversation starter.


And it's especially annoying in the dating world. A woman once approached me at a bar, she seemed very interested. She was about 10 years younger. I could tell more or less how old she was. I suppose she couldn't tell my age. She introduced me to her friends, we had a nice conversation and then she asked me, how old are you, anyway?



After I told her my age, she shriveled away, poooof, just like that, she was gone.

Last edited by Logo; 15th September 2018 at 5:54 AM..
Logo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 8:41 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logo View Post
In this day and age, I get the impression from a lot of people that they ask about age simply to pigeonhole someone and put him or her in a mental box.


There are plenty of other questions people can ask besides, "How old are you?" Why does it matter, anyway? I don't see it as a conversation starter.


And it's especially annoying in the dating world. A woman once approached me at a bar, she seemed very interested. She was about 10 years younger. I could tell more or less how old she was. I suppose she couldn't tell my age. She introduced me to her friends, we had a nice conversation and then she asked me, how old are you, anyway?



After I told her my age, she shriveled away, poooof, just like that, she was gone.
Exactly. That sucks.
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 8:44 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chilli View Post
You might also though be too one of these people that could be any age give or take 15 years and this does make people even more curious than usual too.
ya, they said I must be the youngest in the groups....it is likely not the case
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 8:48 AM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 906
damn, I should start buying lottery. hope some day I win it, so I don't have to work with people.
Springsummer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 9:09 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 9,947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logo View Post
I don't see it as a conversation starter.
I don't see it as a conversation starter either. For this reason, I'm not interpreting the question in a literal sense.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 10:00 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 6,471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Springsummer View Post
and also got an work email from someone that she is on maternity leave. heck it seems I only saw her a few months ago and I didn't see any bump. People get 1 yr of paid maternity/paternity leave here. I can't even find someone, not even remotely.

sigh, the world is driving me half crazy.
The things that happen to us, or "the world" as you say, are neutral. We assign meaning to them, by labelling these events as "good" or "bad."

And then, it is our reaction to these events that determines our experience.

Someone asking your age is nothing more than an attempt to get to know you. YOU have assigned the meaning to that question, such that it is an intrusion of your privacy or a judgment of the fact that you are still single. I get it - I used to hate the question "are you married." But, the reality is that it has less to do with the person asking the question - there is usually no "ill will." Your feelings have more to do with how you internalize it.
__________________
If they love you, you will know. If they don't, you will wonder all the time if they do...

Last edited by BaileyB; 15th September 2018 at 10:08 AM..
BaileyB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 1:33 PM   #12
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Logo View Post
In this day and age, I get the impression from a lot of people that they ask about age simply to pigeonhole someone and put him or her in a mental box.


There are plenty of other questions people can ask besides, "How old are you?" Why does it matter, anyway? I don't see it as a conversation starter.


And it's especially annoying in the dating world. A woman once approached me at a bar, she seemed very interested. She was about 10 years younger. I could tell more or less how old she was. I suppose she couldn't tell my age. She introduced me to her friends, we had a nice conversation and then she asked me, how old are you, anyway?



After I told her my age, she shriveled away, poooof, just like that, she was gone.
People have a right to decide their standards regarding age whether you personally like it or not.

People asks for ages because it highly correlates to your experiences, what you can relate to and outlook on life as whole, with obvious variances. If anyone has issues with the question, it speaks more on your self esteem than it does on the people asking it and I'd recommend assessing how you can become comfortable with it.
CollinW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 2:23 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,060
Be very wary when people you work with (or work for) want to know how old you are. If you tell them you might find out what age discrimination means the hard way. Especially if your immediate supervisor is younger than you are... your work situation could become very difficult as the boss tries to push you out the door to make room for a younger person willing to work you job for less money...
Poutrew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 6:54 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 9,947
Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyB View Post
The things that happen to us, or "the world" as you say, are neutral. We assign meaning to them, by labelling these events as "good" or "bad."

And then, it is our reaction to these events that determines our experience.

Someone asking your age is nothing more than an attempt to get to know you. YOU have assigned the meaning to that question, such that it is an intrusion of your privacy or a judgment of the fact that you are still single. I get it - I used to hate the question "are you married." But, the reality is that it has less to do with the person asking the question - there is usually no "ill will." Your feelings have more to do with how you internalize it.
This ^^

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to ti.

There is a group of people who when asked a personal question will happily open up and engage. They will ask questions in return and a bond will form and a good conversation will be had. They may even end up with the person becoming a good friend.

There is another group of people who suspect negative motivation of those who attempt to engage with us. So they close up and form negative/cynical opinions about others. This thread is evidence of the differing approaches.

Which group of people do you think are more successful in life, love and dating?
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2018, 7:40 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 411
Iíve always thought it was considered rude to ask people how old they are. I never do that unless it has some bearing on the conversation, and hardly anyone asks me either. And there isnít much point anyway. You can always look them up on the internet if youíre that curious and then you donít come across as rude.
Veronica73 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is your actual age or perceived age more important? CryForNoOne Dating 109 6th December 2016 12:33 AM
I just want to know what people thing about the age difference. PrissyB Dating 11 11th October 2012 7:57 PM
What age do people have better dating life (and sex), age 18-22 or 22-26? Will59 Dating 9 6th September 2010 4:34 PM
Why do i never see people talk to people or ask out people they dont know? Brady_to_Moss In Search Of... 5 30th April 2009 2:23 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:27 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.