Shygirl91 Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and the past 3 or 4 years he just doesnt want to come near me sexually. I've tired with him but he always makes the excuse he's too tired or just not in the mood. I'm a plus size girl and he knows I hate the way I look when I'm naked and that I hate getting dressed in front of him. But I know he has pictures of skinny naked girls on his phone and that he watches porn so It makes me feel like he doesnt find me attractive and want me like that and I just don't know what to do as I really do love him and scared he's going to go elsewhere for sex or leave me once someone better comes along. I have tried talking to him about it and how I feel but he just starts moaning and arguing with me and I just don't know what to do anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 You have 2 choices: * You accept yourself as you are and break up with him and find yourself a man that will love you the way you are. Plenty of men prefer plus size women. * You make the changes you need to start loving yourself. The saying goes: To love someone you need to start by loving yourself. How do you expect a man to love you if you hate the sight of your own body? Withholding sex in a relationship is considered cruelty. It destroys your self-esteem. Your bf is now with you because it's convenient. The very first thing you need to do is to end this relationship and start loving yourself again whether it's by changing or just by viewing yourself with new eyes the way you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 get on a weight loss program like jenny craig or weight watchers Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 First you have to figure out why you are with a man who is mean to you? When you answer that you will know what to do next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Yes, you need to learn to love yourself. Because staying with this guy shows you don't. You should feel beautiful and loved with him, but you feel the opposite. If you think losing weight will make you feel better about yourself then work on doing that, but do it for you, not for your boyfriend or anyone else. And if you're an emotional eater, your unhappy situation is just making things worse. I know it's so very hard, but you need to start figuring out how to end things with him if he's not willing for things to change. Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Everything has pros and cons... my upstair at work used to seems very nice to me when I started working there, but slowly it seems she may not really like me deep down. I am wondering if it's the fact that she is a plus size while I am small size? even though I am much older than her, but still she has a much bulging tummy than me. don't you hate it seeing someone who is slander while you are not every day? I don't know...just wondering. so if you work for a woman like my upstair, you may have an advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and the past 3 or 4 years he just doesnt want to come near me sexually. I've tired with him but he always makes the excuse he's too tired or just not in the mood. I'm a plus size girl and he knows I hate the way I look when I'm naked and that I hate getting dressed in front of him. But I know he has pictures of skinny naked girls on his phone and that he watches porn so It makes me feel like he doesnt find me attractive and want me like that and I just don't know what to do as I really do love him and scared he's going to go elsewhere for sex or leave me once someone better comes along. I have tried talking to him about it and how I feel but he just starts moaning and arguing with me and I just don't know what to do anymore Did you put on weight during the time you were with him, or are you now the same as you were when you met? Be honest... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
MaleIntuition Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years and the past 3 or 4 years he just doesnt want to come near me sexually. I've tired with him but he always makes the excuse he's too tired or just not in the mood. I'm a plus size girl and he knows I hate the way I look when I'm naked and that I hate getting dressed in front of him. But I know he has pictures of skinny naked girls on his phone and that he watches porn so It makes me feel like he doesnt find me attractive and want me like that and I just don't know what to do as I really do love him and scared he's going to go elsewhere for sex or leave me once someone better comes along. I have tried talking to him about it and how I feel but he just starts moaning and arguing with me and I just don't know what to do anymore The quote above says a lot. You are clearly not happy with yourself right now. I know my opinion on this isn’t political correct one - but if 91 is the year you where born - you are still young and I think it’s time to start to make healthier lifestyle choices. But you shouldn’t do them for your bf: Do them for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 Sweetheart, if he has skinny girls on his phone and not trying to have sex with you as you are now he isn't going to change. If you want to live your life sex free and paranoid that he will be having sex with other women stay with him. If you want someone to love you the way you are start having faith in yourself, kick him to the curb and find a man who will love all of you. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 14, 2018 Share Posted July 14, 2018 What is he getting out of the relationship? Are you doing everything for him so that now you're his mother? I'm asking because sex is usually the first priority with men, and he doesn't want to have sex with you, but he stays. Why? Do you have a strong bond otherwise? Link to post Share on other sites
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