martyrbf777 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 When were still in college, my girlfriend was already making me feel unwanted. She seldom made time for me. We were both engineering students way back. Since it is a life-and-death degree, I understood her way of treating me. She was so busy aiming to the top that she forgot I was waiting for her to realize my presence. With her strict parents, I still understood why she became like that. Ukraine women are known for being family-oriented and she’s not an exception. When we graduated in college, I was glad not just because I survived the hell years of my student life, but also because I knew she will make it up to me. I was wrong because she was again busy with her career. I was busy with my career too but I always find time for her. I never make her feel unwanted. I wonder why she cannot do the same. I know there’s no one else. I do not doubt her love because I’m pretty sure she loves me just like how I love her. The only problem is that she’s making me feel unimportant. We already talked about it but same things happen after few weeks. How should I ask her to see my worth? How should I tell her I am always waiting for her? How should I ask her to prove she loves me? I am playing martyr and I know that. I just need an advice on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 You are making excuses to justify staying in this. This is who she is. You are more vested in her than she is in you plus you've taught her how she can treat you. Better wake up Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 This has been going on for a while. If you have talked about it but nothing changed, you have to assume nothing will change. She may be giving you all the time she has. I promised my husband I'd do something with him last night be a work emergency came up & I worked until almost midnight. Doesn't mean I don't love him but last night he had to be the # 2 priority in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Start being less available. Right now you're the giver and she's the taker and your relationship is out of balance. Step back a little to see if she'll meet you closer to the middle. If she values the relationship she will but if she lets it go then you're better off knowing now rather than later. Don't let her know you're backing off, just do it gradually and subtly then quietly observe her reaction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 (edited) Like others have said, you've already brought it to her attention. And then she changed a little, but after a while went back to being the same as before. At this point, what you see is what you're going to get. Don't expect major changes. Whatever you do, don't waste your time staying in a relationship that doesn't work for you. You wrote that you make the time to be with her despite being busy. Try being less available and see what happens. Edited June 21, 2018 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherGuy1234 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 (edited) That's how I feel sometimes with my relationship. My girlfriend works, has two kids, and cleans up her house and washing clothes...so I know she is busy. But things makes me feel like I am being taken for granted. I broke up with her..only for a few hours. I regretted breaking up. We got back together. We talked it out. She is very independent and me trying to help her frustrates her. We talk. Communication is the key. You're going to have to have "the talk". Plain and simple...you state how you feel. And she has got to determine what she wants, BUT don't let her drag it on. Like I told my girlfriend...I rather be with someone who loves me the same as I do them. If you don't. Then don't waste my time. People WILL make time for those who are important in their lives. You're girlfriend is taking you for granted. I need to stop being so available. You need to do the same. It is hard. Especially with someone you love and care about. It shouldn't be like this..but women are very emotional. Edited June 21, 2018 by AnotherGuy1234 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 You mentioned strict parents. If they were really extreme, it's just possible she doesn't actually know how to be affectionate and is more matter-of-fact about it - plus with that engineer's brain, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
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