Jump to content

Physical Looks vs Personality


Recommended Posts

I have mentioned this before. The more I live life. The more I am starting to think that maybe its all about physical looks.

 

If your not getting sex or having the opposite sex dig your that way. Or make an effort towards you romantically. Could it be its your look.

 

I get action every three yrs or so. I go years without sex or even kissing. When I think about it. Todays women by my observation. I don't know why are very decerning about going out with anyone. I think that most guys will go out with more women than vice versa. Even if the Sex is not on the table.

 

So do you all think that Physical looks is the key to dating/mating over Personality.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I have mentioned this before. The more I live life. The more I am starting to think that maybe its all about physical looks.

 

If your not getting sex or having the opposite sex dig your that way. Or make an effort towards you romantically. Could it be its your look.

 

I get action every three yrs or so. I go years without sex or even kissing. When I think about it. Todays women by my observation. I don't know why are very decerning about going out with anyone. I think that most guys will go out with more women than vice versa. Even if the Sex is not on the table.

 

So do you all think that Physical looks is the key to dating/mating over Personality.

 

I've read guys here say that men tend to gravitate to looks and women tend to gravitate to men who are good earners.

 

But on the 'looks' thing, I was discussing this with my 19yo daughter. She doesn't care about what a guy is born with. But she does notice what he does with it. She's attracted to the way he presents himself - what his appearance says about him. The guy who's dress style says that he's a bit edgy, alternative and inner city....that's who she notices. Because that's how she looks too.

 

It works both ways too. One of her best friends is traditionally pretty. Long blonde hair, lovely face and figure and very feminine dress sense. She gets hit on by strangers *all the time*. Whereas my daughter's appearance is one which does not attract regular guys. However, when she's somewhere where those edgy, alternative people are - she always gets positive attention.

 

Me? I'm attracted to guys who wear relatively current fashion, but aren't overly polished. Regular haircut. Clean shoes. Again, what he was born with doesn't come into it. If he's too polished, I will think he's high maintenance. If he's scruffy or still wearing his 80's stone wash jeans, I will peg him as out of touch.

 

So yes, looks matter. But I think it's more about presentation than what you were born with.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

For most people (of course, there are exceptions), looks attract you, but personality keeps you (or not).

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

Looks gets the interview. The more interviews, the more opportunities for compatibility and attraction to occur.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I've seen enough unlikely couples to think that yes, probably physical appearance matters, but not in the way we always expect.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter is 30 and she doesn't like 'pretty' men or anything that comes out of a gym. She likes men with interesting personalities with something different and edgy, they have to be interesting and independant otherwise she'll drop them in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

I myself like any type of men. I have dated men of all physical shapes, colors, social classes, any age. I dated with my instinct, not a shopping list.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
With men, I'd say looks are like 90% or more of what we look for in a woman. We don't care if she is smart, successful, educated, nothing. We want a hot chick, and then we hope we can trust her.

 

Women want good looking guys, but men can at least do certain things to make themselves more attractive to women. A man that is successful, is a good earner, is charming, a good liar, drives the right car, etc, he can make up for a lack of looks and do pretty well with women. I have almost never gotten a date based on my looks, it was almost always my ability to talk women into going out with me over time.

 

Speak for yourself. Men who only care about looks and don't look at who this woman is inside end up paying for it later on. Looks do matter because I have a pair of eyes but many more things matter as well. The fact that my wife is hot is what made me notice her at first but the fact that she has so much going for her inside is why she is my wife.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
I wasn't speaking for myself, but for men in general based on my own observations. Me, I am more than happy with an average looking woman that I trust and can get along with. I used to be all about the hotties, but I ended up paying for it later on.

 

This is true. I have found that some men will let a woman treat him any kind of way if she is hot enough. Jodi Arias actually gets love letters and she murdered a man.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
If he's scruffy or still wearing his 80's stone wash jeans, I will peg him as out of touch.

 

Not my thing, but give it time I'm sure it will come back. Add a permed mullet and even a rats tail to the man in the jeans and he might be something.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Doing over and over expecting different results. This is me in a nutshell.

 

I see a woman that is attractive to me in my social environment. I approach her and have a conversation with her. The more sweet and ready to bat the conversation back and forth with me. The more I would want to ask her out. The more cold and aloof. I just drop it.

 

Physical looks which I have used in other posts. I really think thats the key. By the way I am the dresser when it comes to dressing up. So its not like I am in scrubs or really ragged looking.

 

I am starting to really think its looks. If a man or woman approaches you. Your no into them looks wise, which is sort of beyond your control. The person that is not into you, is going steer anything that comes off as you being into them as basically null and void. No bating back conversation or saying hay lets hang out.

 

My personality is not bold enough to state to an attractive woman. Lets go out and see where this is going. I basically need more intell, before that. I want to basically know if the woman is single. Otherwise whats the point. Women now a days, don't wear their rings or state if they are attached. Its more possible to semi court a woman before you know their status. At least in my neck of the woods.

 

All my male friends who are attached. There wives are lookers, but the men did not do anything major to get them. I think a lot of love stuff just drops into people lap. The only thing I can do that I have not done is to actually do nothing. Don't ask or try to find out if a woman is attached. Just live my life and let a woman come to me. That the only thing I can do differently.

Link to post
Share on other sites
This is true. I have found that some men will let a woman treat him any kind of way if she is hot enough. Jodi Arias actually gets love letters and she murdered a man.
I know, that is very sickening. I mean this girl was a pretty woman and she was obsessed over one guy? Don't get me wrong, it was horrible what she did to him, but obviously she had some mental issues too. I'm just very sorry she felt killing was her only way to get revenge. Travis didn't deserve that though, noone does. Both of them had bright futures.
Link to post
Share on other sites
My daughter is 30 and she doesn't like 'pretty' men or anything that comes out of a gym. She likes men with interesting personalities with something different and edgy, they have to be interesting and independant otherwise she'll drop them in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

I myself like any type of men. I have dated men of all physical shapes, colors, social classes, any age. I dated with my instinct, not a shopping list.

 

Do you feel that this “shopping list” dating is a new phenomenon that’s a product of our exposure to so much content that we feel we can pick and choose as though we’re ordering custom made furniture?

 

Surely, between today’s fashion and style magazines, celebrity worship, and abundant amounts of information about the daily goings and comings of people, their private lives, the advent of the online world, everyone and anyone can live in an imaginary world that has little grounding in reality.

 

It’s a trend that has me concerned about the future of the human race. We’re losing the human touch, the important things in life and succumbing to superficial factors like looks and money.

 

Looks and money don’t bring happiness. True happiness is found in truly connecting on an intellectual level, personality, values and morals, and physical attraction that doesn’t compare individuals to idols, but sees them as unique in their beauty.

 

I’ve met gorgeous women who turned me off the moment they spoke and fun and interesting people who weren’t as attractive. I felt a stronger connection with the latter, although in the absence g physical attraction it didn’t evolve into a romantic relationship.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
With men, I'd say looks are like 90% or more of what we look for in a woman. We don't care if she is smart, successful, educated, nothing. We want a hot chick, and then we hope we can trust her.

 

 

I’m not sure if that were in jest, but if it were, is there a phone number or email address where I can submit my request to opt out of this generalization.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do you feel that this “shopping list” dating is a new phenomenon that’s a product of our exposure to so much content that we feel we can pick and choose as though we’re ordering custom made furniture?

 

Surely, between today’s fashion and style magazines, celebrity worship, and abundant amounts of information about the daily goings and comings of people, their private lives, the advent of the online world, everyone and anyone can live in an imaginary world that has little grounding in reality.

 

It’s a trend that has me concerned about the future of the human race. We’re losing the human touch, the important things in life and succumbing to superficial factors like looks and money.

 

Looks and money don’t bring happiness. True happiness is found in truly connecting on an intellectual level, personality, values and morals, and physical attraction that doesn’t compare individuals to idols, but sees them as unique in their beauty.

 

I’ve met gorgeous women who turned me off the moment they spoke and fun and interesting people who weren’t as attractive. I felt a stronger connection with the latter, although in the absence g physical attraction it didn’t evolve into a romantic relationship.

 

Logo , l take my hat off, well l would if l wore one.

That;s one of the best most realistic pieces of common sense l've seen in this place in a long long time.

Well , apart form some of my own stuff of course haha.

Cheers man , well said buddy.

 

PS , and it's fact , studies came out last week showing we're all getting dumber and dumber , due to all that crap above , but eh , we knew that already right it's been pretty obvious for a long time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
pureinheart

Keep in mind peeps and men who only use their visual senses... looks fade.. even yours will eventually.

 

Being raised in an area where there are extremes concerning 'superficial'... all of those 'pretty' people from back in the day are not so 'pretty' anymore. There is always that day of reckoning, if one is fortunate to be on this earth long enough.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Never have i ever struggled to pick up girls! I get dates pretty easy! However i can barely keep a girl past the 2 month stage..

Looks vs Personality - go figure!! :confused::rolleyes::lmao:

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

At this stage of my life at 47. Its going to take more than good looks to get me into a woman. She is going to have to be really into me and making an effort to connect with me. Not just going to ask out a woman, based on just looks.

 

Fusing looks and personality is what is best. I also feel like its best for a lot of us to let things drop in our laps. For me. I was living at home and working at the Hospital. My co-worker was getting married. She sold her Condo to me which put me closer to work by 20 min by bus or if I want to walk its a nice straight down the street 1hour and 10 minute walk.

 

When I look at my friends. In particular the male friends. Their main woman that they have been long term came to them for the most part. Like for me. My choices vs whats come to me. It would be better if the men on out board let the women come to us. It feels like the quality is better.

 

Getting back to looks. I like the Pretty Girl Next Door look. Not the super made up with make up and nails etc. The more natural she is. The better a woman looks.

 

I like Short and Long hair. Any colour. Partial to Red. Personality-Sweet laid back and affectionate towards me and me towards her.

 

With the presence of Social media and tinder etc. You can now order a BF/GF. Yet reality is not that set in stone. I think life is about learning and evolving. For those looking for love and factoring Looks/Personality. Its to help us Evolve. With a little bit of Pleasure in there as well.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear

This is a topic where you find a lot of people are either not being honest with themselves or are just rationalizing ...

 

If you listen to some of these people, you might think that every hot woman is crazy, stupid or a gold digger, and every hot guy is a meathead and a philanderer...Ridiculous...:rolleyes:

 

It's garden variety "sour grapes" mentality...." I can't have it, so it must be no good",,,,

 

Let's put it another way....

 

I've seen guys put up with a mountain of shyt because their wives/gf's are hot....I mean, poor old Travis was still keeping Jodi Arias around even though by that time it was pretty clear she was a complete psycho..How long do you think he would have had the typical size 16 Mary from down the street around under the same conditions? He'd have scuttled her instantly...

 

So let's cut the bs about looks not mattering...Most guys, if they are honest want the hottest they can possibly get...And they would gladly be satisfied if she can maintain a hot body over her cooking skills or even her earning power....

 

About all I will concede on is that women are less picky about looks..There are tons of attractive women with ugly guys, the more Alpha,. successful rich etc, the weaker(stronger?) her beer goggles are...

 

TFY

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
This is a topic where you find a lot of people are either not being honest with themselves or are just rationalizing ...

 

If you listen to some of these people, you might think that every hot woman is crazy, stupid or a gold digger, and every hot guy is a meathead and a philanderer...Ridiculous...:rolleyes:

 

It's garden variety "sour grapes" mentality...." I can't have it, so it must be no good",,,,

 

Let's put it another way....

 

I've seen guys put up with a mountain of shyt because their wives/gf's are hot....I mean, poor old Travis was still keeping Jodi Arias around even though by that time it was pretty clear she was a complete psycho..How long do you think he would have had the typical size 16 Mary from down the street around under the same conditions? He'd have scuttled her instantly...

 

So let's cut the bs about looks not mattering...Most guys, if they are honest want the hottest they can possibly get...And they would gladly be satisfied if she can maintain a hot body over her cooking skills or even her earning power....

 

About all I will concede on is that women are less picky about looks..There are tons of attractive women with ugly guys, the more Alpha,. successful rich etc, the weaker(stronger?) her beer goggles are...

 

TFY

I agree but this is what gets men in trouble. They are happy just to be with an attractive woman in his life and they are shocked when one day they wake up and she is sucking the life out of him.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Are you kidding? That is my absolute favorite way to wake up, with an attractive woman sucking the life out of me.

 

She can literally be a goddess but if she makes my life worse then next! I wake up to a very attractive woman who betters my life in every way. That is the ideal but if I can't have that then being single and at peace is also good.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Let's face it, whenever this comes up most guys will gush about how important it is that their current partner (who just happens to be pretty) is smart, funny, interesting, etc. Yet I've seldom seen any guys chime in that their partner is overweight and ugly, but they love them for their beautiful personality.

 

Looks are far from the only thing that matters, and there are plenty of other reasons not to be interested in someone, but most of the time they're still the most important thing. That's just the reality of the world we live in.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Looks are important. They always will be. In terms of initial attraction. Can't get away from it.

 

One really needs both looks and personality to thrive. I do think that once the personality connection is established. The looks thing goes to the backside.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...