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Saying “I love you” on the second date


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heavenonearth

If a 31 year old guy says this to a girl he only spent about 5 days with (in a period of 3 weeks)... what does that say about him?

 

 

(Btw this happened to my friend, 22, she met him online and she plans to see him again ... *ouch*)

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bathtub-row

A guy said that to me once on the second date. He was in his early 40's. First of all, it freaked me out. Secondly, he obviously expected me to reciprocate that sentiment and I couldn't (although I was polite). Thirdly, he turned out to be a stalker and I had to get the police involved. Enough said? :lmao:

 

I know there are times when we meet someone and they just flat out knock our socks off. Still, restraint is needed because that kind of confession is usually not going to be well-received.

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heavenonearth
A guy said that to me once on the second date. He was in his early 40's. First of all, it freaked me out. Secondly, he obviously expected me to reciprocate that sentiment and I couldn't (although I was polite). Thirdly, he turned out to be a stalker and I had to get the police involved. Enough said? :lmao:

 

I know there are times when we meet someone and they just flat out knock our socks off. Still, restraint is needed because that kind of confession is usually not going to be well-received.

 

I am slightly worried about her.

But at the same time, she is actually falling for him as well.

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It screams emotionally immature.

 

 

 

My friend who's 50 years old told a man she loved him on their second date. She makes no difference between butterflies and 'love'. To her it's the same. She is a very smart woman, a professional working in finance but when it comes to the matters of the heart she thinks and acts like a 13 year old.

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A guy said that to me once on the second date. He was in his early 40's. First of all, it freaked me out. Secondly, he obviously expected me to reciprocate that sentiment and I couldn't (although I was polite). Thirdly, he turned out to be a stalker and I had to get the police involved. Enough said? :lmao:

 

I know there are times when we meet someone and they just flat out knock our socks off. Still, restraint is needed because that kind of confession is usually not going to be well-received.

 

That's pretty much the likely sequence of events, and that's assuming he wasn't already stalking her before they officially met. It's a red flag. At the very least, it's hugely immature, deluded and desperate. At worst, it's obsession that can grow into a big problem.

 

I recommend you stay out of it unless she starts asking you about it or starts being creeped out by things he's doing like keeping tabs on her, etc.

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CrazyKatLady

My grandpa told me he saw my grandmother walking down the road on the other side of it one afternoon and said to his friend, "Who is that pretty little thang walking over there, I have to know her name..." That was in 1941. The rest was history for 60+yrs.

Why does there have to be a rule book on this?

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^ Was slim pickins back on those lonely roads in the old days, not much to choose from. Glad it worked out for them.

 

My mom grew up in the middle of nowhere (and it's still nowhere today, completely undeveloped) with 12 other siblings. She was only married to her first husband for less than 3 years and only married him so he'd drive her out of there into civilization. My dad (her second) used to say all her sisters did the same thing, and it's pretty much true.

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bathtub-row
My grandpa told me he saw my grandmother walking down the road on the other side of it one afternoon and said to his friend, "Who is that pretty little thang walking over there, I have to know her name..." That was in 1941. The rest was history for 60+yrs.

Why does there have to be a rule book on this?

 

Calling someone a "pretty little thang" isn't the same thing as saying "I love you" on a second date. We have all experienced the situation where we're blown away by someone right away. It's maturity that keeps us from doing something that will most likely be taken in a negative light.

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I'veseenbetterlol

That is extremely creepy. I dated a guy who said we would be together forever after only a few weeks dating, he was mentally unstable, controlling and clingy. Your friend is taking a chance on someone who will prob get obsessed with her and won't leave her alone if she rejects him.

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somanymistakes

makes me worry about the prospect of love bombing and trying to sway someone into not thinking straight in order to get something out of her

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Happy Lemming

Yes... that happened to me once. I was dating this girl and it was the 2nd or 3rd date and she told me she loved me. I was taken back a bit and asked her to explain how she could love me, when we had only spent a couple of hours together. We were still in the "getting to know you" stage. After stammering a bit, she responded that she loved me the way Jesus loves me.

 

Either way I was creeped out and gently broke it off...

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I think 90% of the time someone says "i love you" on the second date it's a sign of instability, desperation, or immaturity. But the two times I've been in love I knew it was really different from the moment I laid eyes on them. I wouldn't have said I loved them that early, even to myself, but I knew. Of course, I agree that saying it on the second date is different from feeling it. But I hope it wouldn't be an actual deal breaker for me.

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Art_Critic

All he is doing is trying to remove her panties...telling her what he thinks will woo the panties off her is his plan.

It must have worked once or twice for him to be using love bombing at his age..

 

What do I think about someone like that... player, narcissist maybe but certainly doing it to get his noodle wet.

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Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

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Why does there have to be a rule book on this?

 

I have a friend who, while drunk, jumped off a 3rd-floor balcony and landed in a snowbank. Just because it works doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.

 

Any rational person recognizes you don't even know someone by the second date, much less love them. Run away...

 

Mr. Lucky

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heavenonearth
All he is doing is trying to remove her panties...telling her what he thinks will woo the panties off her is his plan.

It must have worked once or twice for him to be using love bombing at his age..

 

What do I think about someone like that... player, narcissist maybe but certainly doing it to get his noodle wet.

 

Well he already removed her panties before that!

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heavenonearth
Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

 

 

But that’s not love... that’s infatuation. And maybe you feel “in love” but you cannot possibly truly love someone you don’t know.

 

Loving someone is a feeling that develops over a long period of time.

 

I mean, i knew i would eventually love my boyfriend the moment we first started talking. And i knew i loved him after only a few months.

But when i say “i love you” to him now, after being together for a year, it has sooo much meaning behind it because i know him now and i know who he is and i accept everything about him.

So that’s different, in my opinion.

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bathtub-row
Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

 

I think a lot of people have experienced that feeling of "I'm going to marry that person" when they meet them. I don't think anyone is saying that feeling is wrong. I think it's more about timing and knowing when it's not a great idea to say it. In the case of the guy who did that to me, he was a creep and I discovered later that it was common for him to stalk and harass women. And, unfortunately, a lot of people who turn on the charm very soon into a relationship have poor motives. I'm glad you're different and that things are going well. Very sweet.

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Well I hate to admit it, but this happened to me a week ago.

 

I should preface this with I have been with many women (check my previous posts), and I'm in my 40s with a good job and not a stalker by any means (quite the opposite as most women complain I don't call or see them enough). It's safe to say I'm jaded but experienced.

 

So I met this girl, the likes of which I had never experienced in my life. Everything about her was exactly what I wanted. Everything she says is like a script written by me. After our first date I said to myself "I'm gonna marry this girl".

 

I hadn't even had sex with her but the spiritual connection and explosive chemisty made me fall in love. So I told her. She melted and said she loved me too.

 

Neither of us have experienced this before and we have discussed our pasts.

 

So will it last? Who knows. But do I love her as if I've know her for years? You bet.

 

Anyone reading this will think I'm nuts. Anyone who told me the same I would think they are crazy. Yet, here I am. I gave up on taking women as anything more than temporary sex. I wasn't looking for it and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

I have no idea what our future holds or if we will be together in a month. Yet, I love this woman.

 

If that changes, it changes. But I mean it with every ounce of my being.

 

LOL because .... dude, you are the LSer who told me not to provide TMI to women when I ranted about a relationship that failed when I shared 'too much'. The irony is that my (now lost) relationship also hit me like a freight train. Who knows (not me) why sometimes only one of the couple feels like 'this is THE ONE'. It sounds like you've got a mutual. Good luck. I hope it works out because I'm not too jaded to enjoy (both kinds of) happy endings.

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But that’s not love... that’s infatuation. And maybe you feel “in love” but you cannot possibly truly love someone you don’t know.

 

Loving someone is a feeling that develops over a long period of time.

 

I mean, i knew i would eventually love my boyfriend the moment we first started talking. And i knew i loved him after only a few months.

But when i say “i love you” to him now, after being together for a year, it has sooo much meaning behind it because i know him now and i know who he is and i accept everything about him.

So that’s different, in my opinion.

 

Trust me, I’m old enough and have been with enough women to know the difference between love and infatuation. I have been infatuated with many girls in my day and love came later (in some cases, but it was never as strong as what I described).

 

The only other time in my life I felt this was with my ex gf (not even with my ex wife) and it took about a month. I was with her for 7 years and only am not because she ended things (which brought me here). I was about 37 when I met her and I never had that happen to me in my life...nor did I think it would ever happen again. I should also note both these women are not the hottest I’ve ever dated (although both attractive).

 

Unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t understand it. I never did....and didn’t think it was real. It’s like finding the yin to your yang. It’s a connection on a spiritual level that is inexplicable and exceedingly rare. It’s a feeling that you will kill or be killed to protect them.

 

The same phenomenon happens with mothers and children (though a different dynamic). It’s not uncommon for a mother to hold her baby for the first time and fall in love (I know romantic love is not the same).

 

If, as time goes on, she is not who she is now than perhaps I will feel different. But the more I spend time with her and the more I talk to her the deeper I am falling in love.

 

The unfortunate thing about it is it spoils you. It’s nearly impossible to settle for anything less once you have had it. That is why I was so traumatized by splitting with my ex and still not 100% indifferent after two years.

 

But I’ve done the work on myself, and been with a lot of women, since then and feel in a much better place.

 

I the other day we were talking about what a great match we are so I jokingly said “What took you so long?” Her response was “We weren’t ready then baby, we are now”.

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LOL because .... dude, you are the LSer who told me not to provide TMI to women when I ranted about a relationship that failed when I shared 'too much'. The irony is that my (now lost) relationship also hit me like a freight train. Who knows (not me) why sometimes only one of the couple feels like 'this is THE ONE'. It sounds like you've got a mutual. Good luck. I hope it works out because I'm not too jaded to enjoy (both kinds of) happy endings.

 

Brother, I still feel the same. There are things I won’t share with her due to the lessons I learned in the past (like the plethora of women I’ve slept with).

 

I shared my feelings with her because I had to know if she felt the same.

 

As crazy as I am about this girl, I also have learned so much about women since my ex and will use those lessons to not F this up.

 

I was too jaded (for the movie happy ending lol) which is why this is so shocking to me.

 

But I appreciate the well wishes - I hope it works out too.

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I think a lot of people have experienced that feeling of "I'm going to marry that person" when they meet them. I don't think anyone is saying that feeling is wrong. I think it's more about timing and knowing when it's not a great idea to say it. In the case of the guy who did that to me, he was a creep and I discovered later that it was common for him to stalk and harass women. And, unfortunately, a lot of people who turn on the charm very soon into a relationship have poor motives. I'm glad you're different and that things are going well. Very sweet.

 

Thank you. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t turn up charm to get chicks. Though I never said I loved a girl to get in her pants.

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2.50 a gallon

My marriage lasted a whole 6 months. After the break up at age 35, I swore, that I would never fall in love again. Over the next 15 years, my number went up by at least a good 100 women.

When ever I saw love walking down my street and headed for my door, I was out the back door and miles down the alley.

I loved being single and living alone. I could do what I wanted with whom ever I wanted, when ever I wanted and had no one to answer to.

Enter current GF, second date, first kiss, my mighty walls collapsed. It caught me totally off guard.

I had to stop myself from telling her that I loved her. I went home that night, seeing how lonely my life was.

That was 20 plus years ago. I expect she will wake up in the next hour, after breakfast we have a lot planned as it is her day off.

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heavenonearth
Trust me, I’m old enough and have been with enough women to know the difference between love and infatuation. I have been infatuated with many girls in my day and love came later (in some cases, but it was never as strong as what I described).

 

The only other time in my life I felt this was with my ex gf (not even with my ex wife) and it took about a month. I was with her for 7 years and only am not because she ended things (which brought me here). I was about 37 when I met her and I never had that happen to me in my life...nor did I think it would ever happen again. I should also note both these women are not the hottest I’ve ever dated (although both attractive).

Unless you’ve experienced it, you can’t understand it. I never did....and didn’t think it was real. It’s like finding the yin to your yang. It’s a connection on a spiritual level that is inexplicable and exceedingly rare. It’s a feeling that you will kill or be killed to protect them.

 

The same phenomenon happens with mothers and children (though a different dynamic). It’s not uncommon for a mother to hold her baby for the first time and fall in love (I know romantic love is not the same).

 

If, as time goes on, she is not who she is now than perhaps I will feel different. But the more I spend time with her and the more I talk to her the deeper I am falling in love.

 

The unfortunate thing about it is it spoils you. It’s nearly impossible to settle for anything less once you have had it. That is why I was so traumatized by splitting with my ex and still not 100% indifferent after two years.

 

But I’ve done the work on myself, and been with a lot of women, since then and feel in a much better place.

 

I the other day we were talking about what a great match we are so I jokingly said “What took you so long?” Her response was “We weren’t ready then baby, we are now”.

 

 

Well I am in love and it is the greatest love that I ever had, but if I would have said to him "I love you" on our second date, it would have definitely not been a good idea.

I wanted to say it maybe starting date 4 or 5 - but I didn't, because saying these words creates expectations. And it was not love then, no, it was 'falling in love', which can happen quickly. But true love only develops over time. I love my boyfriend right now more than I did a year ago. Actually, right now, I love him the most. He's the hottest, most attractive, most handsome, smartest, sweetest guy I ever dated and I am all of those things to him as well! We're a match made in heaven and I am glad we took a few months to profess our love to each other, it happened organically and in a healthy way. We got where we are now because we've been cautious and we took our time and didn't rush things.

 

Rushing things is fun but it can quickly turn into a disaster. And I have been there done that ample times...

 

Anyway, back to my friend: She actually was falling for this guy, until he said "I love you", now she's a bit freaked out, and yet still wants to see him again. Not sure what she expects, but I find it all too much too soon...

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