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MeadowFlower

What do you do if you want a relationship with a guy but they probably only like you as a friend? :(

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Happy Lemming

Talk to him (in person), invite him for coffee... [don't text him]

 

Tell him you are attracted to him and would like to date. Maybe suggest taking him out on a date, your treat, you plan it, etc.

 

Being a guy, that action would really impress me and I would like that.

 

Sometimes guys miss "light flirting" attempts and don't know a woman's true intentions.

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First you stop with the self defeating attitude. Women friend zone men. Guys don't usually do that to girls.

 

 

Second you flirt with him. See how he reacts, If positive, you either ask him out but if you aren't brave enough to do that you make it abundantly clear that if he asks you the answer will be a resounding yes.

 

 

Years ago I met a man at a mixer. I thought I was flirting my tail off. Apparently he didn't see it that way. We had talked about work. He was in the market to hire somebody who did what my company does. When I was leaving I gave him my business card. I said I'd be happy to help with his work problem but I'd be happier if he called for personal rather than professional reasons. On the date he confessed that if I had not said that he never would have called. It's scary to be the guy & always have to be the one to risk rejection by always having to be the one who does the asking. Cut him a break & make it obvious.

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I think it depends on the guy. I was often in that situation, crushing on some guy, but these were not shy fearful guys. They were guys who had options and no fear. So completely different scenario.

 

So if you think he's possibly not got all the women options he needs and maybe one of those afraid to stick their neck out, do what D0nnivain said up there and make a move. Be careful, though, because lots of guys think if a woman hits on them, it's a straight-up invitation for sex, so be careful how you choose your words.

 

With the kind of guys I liked, I would just try to intercept them at things we had in common, which was usually music and talk to them about what we had in common, rather than just hitting on them or propositioning them. I'd just hope they thought I was cool, and that is usually what would happen, although it didn't always lead to more than friendship, certainly. I mean, each person has their own people they're after and their own type. You have to accept that.

 

I am a believer that if you spend a lot of repetitious time, say working or hobbies together, some men fall in love or at least develop some attraction with a woman who isn't their exact type just from being around them, but that also depends how many other women they are in contact with.

 

So it kind of comes down to if there's anything else besides physical attraction to bind you.

 

I don't advise anyone to ever just blurt out their feelings because half the time, it will just freak the person out because it seemed to come out of nowhere. Then some guys will simply take it as an invitation to string-free sex, while maybe once in awhile, a guy will be flattered and give you a chance.

 

I just think there's better ways to go about it.

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From a guy ...

 

It happened ONCE. I was flattered and appreciated it. Sadly, there was no spark from me AND at the time I was dating the first 'big one that got away'.

 

If it happened today AND I wasn't already seeing someone AND there was a spark (meaning physical attraction) AND we had some common interests, I'd jump (no, not that kind of jump) on it i.e. start dating and see where the relationship went. That is to say that the lady would move to the head of my line

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MeadowFlower
Talk to him (in person), invite him for coffee... [don't text him]

 

Tell him you are attracted to him and would like to date. Maybe suggest taking him out on a date, your treat, you plan it, etc.

 

Being a guy, that action would really impress me and I would like that.

 

Sometimes guys miss "light flirting" attempts and don't know a woman's true intentions.

 

Thank you for responding. He isn't actually in my town, we have met in person the first time, and then hung out for the day another time.

 

Thank you everyone who has given input. :)

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MeadowFlower
From a guy ...

 

It happened ONCE. I was flattered and appreciated it. Sadly, there was no spark from me AND at the time I was dating the first 'big one that got away'.

 

If it happened today AND I wasn't already seeing someone AND there was a spark (meaning physical attraction) AND we had some common interests, I'd jump (no, not that kind of jump) on it i.e. start dating and see where the relationship went. That is to say that the lady would move to the head of my line

 

So as a guy, you think it's okay for a girl to say she'd like to date you?

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Happy Lemming
Thank you for responding. He isn't actually in my town, we have met in person the first time, and then hung out for the day another time.

 

Can I ask how many miles (distance) are we talking about??

 

About 8-9 years ago, I dated a woman that lived 275 miles away, the driving was hard on me. I'd visited her every 3rd weekend or so. We both had a lot of fun and enjoyed each other, but the distance was too great to continue the relationship.

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So as a guy, you think it's okay for a girl to say she'd like to date you?

 

IMO it is definitely okay. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear in my previous post.

 

However you, or any woman telling a man she'd like to date him, should understand that 'the shoe is on the other foot' and be prepared to deal with the rejection that is otherwise the man's so to speak 'birthright'.

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MeadowFlower
Can I ask how many miles (distance) are we talking about??

 

About 8-9 years ago, I dated a woman that lived 275 miles away, the driving was hard on me. I'd visited her every 3rd weekend or so. We both had a lot of fun and enjoyed each other, but the distance was too great to continue the relationship.

 

It's flying distance not driving distance.

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Yeah , have been in that sitch a lot. For me it's just because l'm not interested if l was interested she'd know about it and wouldn't have to be asking.

 

So like nos said sure you could but just be prepared for a knock back too.

 

And even if he acts like he likes the idea , sometimes he might just take her up on it after all , if she offers , because it's there and it's easy so if he does go for it best make sure he's genuine and not just convenience.

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somanymistakes

If they're single? You ask them out.

 

They may say no. (YES some guys only like some girls as friends, men are people.) But they may say yes!

 

If they're not single? You sit on it.

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Happy Lemming
It's flying distance not driving distance.

 

So you want a "Long Distance Relationship" with a guy that you are friends with??

 

Do you have the $$$$ to fly to see him bi-weekly?? Monthly?? Semi-annually??

 

If things work out, do you want to move to his area??

 

Long distance relationships are very tough, especially since this one is not "driving distance".

 

Just my two cents...

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CautiouslyOptimistic

How old are you and in what context did you meet this person?

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MeadowFlower
So you want a "Long Distance Relationship" with a guy that you are friends with??

 

Do you have the $$$$ to fly to see him bi-weekly?? Monthly?? Semi-annually??

 

If things work out, do you want to move to his area??

 

Long distance relationships are very tough, especially since this one is not "driving distance".

 

Just my two cents...

 

I wouldn't let the distance get in the way of a relationship with him. That's me

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Happy Lemming
I wouldn't let the distance get in the way of a relationship with him. That's me

 

But do you have the financial resources to cover the distance you must travel?? Once you fly to his destination, you'll probably need a rental car and a hotel room. It can all add up pretty quickly.

 

And do you have the ability to relocate if this situation turns into something great??

 

I can appreciate you wanting to try to make a relationship work, but the logistics may get in the way.

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MeadowFlower
But do you have the financial resources to cover the distance you must travel?? Once you fly to his destination, you'll probably need a rental car and a hotel room. It can all add up pretty quickly.

 

And do you have the ability to relocate if this situation turns into something great??

 

I can appreciate you wanting to try to make a relationship work, but the logistics may get in the way.

 

There are people I can stay with there, when visiting, so that makes it easier.

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Love ya can do attitude mf , so refreshing.

Now then all ya have to do is find out if he feels the same.

Good luck

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What do you do if you want a relationship with a guy but they probably only like you as a friend? :(

 

you move on to the next guy

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