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Ever Get Used To Being Single?


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I have been single for 7 years and I've gotten used to it. The freedom and low level of responsibility. I think being out of the dating scene for so long is why I have as little stress as I have in life these days. Majority of life's trials and tribulations are in the context of relationship/ marriage problems.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I have been single for 7 years and I've gotten used to it. The freedom and low level of responsibility. I think being out of the dating scene for so long is why I have as little stress as I have in life these days. Majority of life's trials and tribulations are in the context of relationship/ marriage problems.

 

Yes! And I love it. I don't know old you are, but at age 45 I love being single.

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well , it's a toss up.

but it's certainly stress and hassle free that's for sure. After either marriage or a relationship my whole life, it's almost "surreal" , how simple and hassle free life is just looking after yourself , living yourself.

 

l am really missing all the good things that come with a partner in crime though.

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I actually think I'm less used to it now after 5 years. Lately, I've been feeling kind of lonely and reminiscent of old times when I was with someone. I really miss the physical aspect too. Not really sure what's triggered these feelings as of late. I'm sure they'll cycle back around though.

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2.50 a gallon

Following the end of my short but disastrous marriage, I swore I would never get into another relationship. For 14 glorious years, I could do what I wanted, with whom ever I wanted and when ever I wanted. I answered to no one.

Second date first kiss, I went home that night realizing how lonely my life was.

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Eternal Sunshine

Lately I have been enjoying being single even more than usual. I disabled my OLD profiles few months ago and felt like a huge weight has been lifted.

 

Someone I was interested in few years back got back in touch and wanted to take me out to dinner. I just told him that I am not really looking for anything right now and don't want to lead him on.

 

I am focusing on making more friends and have realized that with a good friend group, I don't need dating and relationships at all.

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l'm at a bit of a loss in that way , friends don't really cut it for me.

l see a few people but only every wk or two.

Maybe if l'd been single more in my life l would've learnt to enjoy and keep more friends .

Here where l'm stuck right now there's nothin , tiny town l don't fit, people keep to their own little pack or familes. There are some great places to go but they all involve a lot of driving and l already have to drive a fair bit in work and other stuff so do get to them but l often can't be fkd with more driving. if l was in a place with something going on l might enjoy single a bit more.

 

l really take my hat off to people that have lived a single life a long time. Could be just me again but l find it a really strange way to live.

Edited by Chilli
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I've had two consecutive relation*****s that were both horrendous and now have no desire to jump back on the horse.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
l'm at a bit of a loss in that way , friends don't really cut it for me.

 

l really take my hat off to people that have lived a single life a long time. Could be just me again but l find it a really strange way to live.

 

Just my opinion about why men seem to usually be more desperate for relationships than women (I'm not implying you are desperate, Chilli!).

 

And of course, the sex :).

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CautiouslyOptimistic
l'm at a bit of a loss in that way , friends don't really cut it for me.

 

l really take my hat off to people that have lived a single life a long time. Could be just me again but l find it a really strange way to live.

 

My two cents about why women can usually be single "easier" than men can: Women typically have deep emotional connections with their girlfriends and men usually don't with their bros. Heterosexual men desire emotional connection as much as women do but they don't get it from another guy.

 

Just my opinion about why men seem to usually be more desperate for relationships than women (I'm not implying you are desperate, Chilli!).

 

And of course, the sex :).

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Sorry for the above, all! My first try at replaying accidentally deleted my first paragraph so in attempting to rewrite it, it has posted twice. Wish we could delete posts!

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I have been single for 7 years and I've gotten used to it. The freedom and low level of responsibility. I think being out of the dating scene for so long is why I have as little stress as I have in life these days. Majority of life's trials and tribulations are in the context of relationship/ marriage problems.

 

 

I have to respectfully disagree with you. It's not either or.

 

A healthy relationship reduces our stress, increases serotonin levels, makes us happy and is overall.....well, just healthy. Also, loving sex contributes to our overall well-being.

 

Research shows that socializing and being in healthy romantic relationships contributes to longer life expectancy.

 

Have I gotten used to being single? It took a while after my last relationship. So, kind of. I miss being with a loving, affectionate woman and in a healthy relationship. But I haven't been able to find one, yet.

 

I'm at a point where I have given up on actively seeking a relationship to just doing what I do and letting the chips fall where they may; if I meet someone, great. I've reached the point where I have no expectations. That way, I'm never disappointed.

 

 

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/45/ad/3d/45ad3dc4e40b3a7bb35175351d61e433.jpg

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Following the end of my short but disastrous marriage, I swore I would never get into another relationship. For 14 glorious years, I could do what I wanted, with whom ever I wanted and when ever I wanted. I answered to no one.

Second date first kiss, I went home that night realizing how lonely my life was.

 

 

Exactly. After a while you get used to it. But the minute you get a taste of it, you remember how things used to be and what you've been missing out on.

 

I was more motivated and happier when I was in a relationship. I felt like I could move proverbial mountains.

 

On opposite ends of the spectrum, love and grief are two of the strongest emotions I have experienced in life.

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l'm at a bit of a loss in that way , friends don't really cut it for me.

 

 

Friends are great to have, but at the end of the day, I climb into an empty bed (Not implying sex here) and wake up in an empty bed and it feels lonely.

 

Waking up to someone you love and who feels the same about you, looking into their eyes, smiling and seeing them smile back, kissing them good morning and caressing them, well, that's just bliss.

 

Unfortunately, as great as they are, friends can't offer that.

Edited by Logo
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RedBaron2765
I have to respectfully disagree with you. It's not either or.

 

A healthy relationship reduces our stress, increases serotonin levels, makes us happy and is overall.....well, just healthy. Also, loving sex contributes to our overall well-being.

 

Research shows that socializing and being in healthy romantic relationships contributes to longer life expectancy.

 

Have I gotten used to being single? It took a while after my last relationship. So, kind of. I miss being with a loving, affectionate woman and in a healthy relationship. But I haven't been able to find one, yet.

 

I'm at a point where I have given up on actively seeking a relationship to just doing what I do and letting the chips fall where they may; if I meet someone, great. I've reached the point where I have no expectations. That way, I'm never disappointed.

 

 

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/45/ad/3d/45ad3dc4e40b3a7bb35175351d61e433.jpg

 

This is the attitude that I wish I had back in 2001. The friend that I hung out with met his wife at a party, and I panicked and started internet dating because I didn't want to have nobody to hang with, which is where I met my wife. Looking back, I would have just let nature take it's course - think I'd be a lot happier now if I had done so. In my case, being married is stressful (family drama mostly, and on her side of the family).

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I have been single for 7 years and I've gotten used to it. The freedom and low level of responsibility. I think being out of the dating scene for so long is why I have as little stress as I have in life these days. Majority of life's trials and tribulations are in the context of relationship/ marriage problems.

 

I love being by myself, always have, always will

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This is the attitude that I wish I had back in 2001. The friend that I hung out with met his wife at a party, and I panicked and started internet dating because I didn't want to have nobody to hang with, which is where I met my wife. Looking back, I would have just let nature take it's course - think I'd be a lot happier now if I had done so. In my case, being married is stressful (family drama mostly, and on her side of the family).

 

So do you mean you kinda forced it and maybe married the wrong person or rushed into it ?

Family stuff can be so damn hard in marriage can't it , like we can choose who we marry but not the family.

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I feel frustrated and constantly thinking about being in a Romantic Relationship.

 

So I find being single semi difficult. If I could erase my desire for physical affection from a women that wants that from me and vice versa. I could handle being single.

 

I have a variety of friends and I am close with most. If I can't talk to a friend about anything. They are not a major friend of mine.

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I love being by myself, always have, always will

Yep, with about 80% of my six decades being that way, it's a lifestyle I cherish. Loved many, been with some, married one, it's all good. The cool thing is that love is a renewable resource and there's never a shortage of humans to share it with. Some value it more than others and that's fine by me.

 

Something I have noted of late that I chastise myself for is when receiving love and affection I catch myself not believing them. That's old manipulative tapes playing and I need to work on that. Not fair to those who love authentically. It's a gift. Accept it and cherish it.

 

Anyway, long used to being single. Utility infielder, free agent ;)

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There is nothing wrong with being single or attached. Its just a state of life. Most people will go through it both.

 

All being single to me means is that I don't have a woman telling me she loves me or have physical affection on a regular basis. Thats i. Other than that. My life is good.

 

Its nice to have, but being romantically attached or single is just a state. The one thing I keep noticing with a lot of us is that trying to change our state of personal circumstance is hard. I know lots of people lately breaking up.

 

Perhaps we should just let it fall into our laps. Most of my friends that met their SO. They just fell into each others lap. No dating sites or major set ups for the most part.

 

Everytime I like a woman. To me there is always some major obstacle. She is married, Still has her x in her system or she is single but there is no romantic connection.

 

I just restate this. Sometimes the universe knows whats best for us, even if we don't. To be honest. I can't see being single for the rest of my life. It will happen. Its just how it will manifest. I also look at my past. Its not like I have not had anyone as well. Its just that it never lasted. So the next woman. I am actually going to have to dig deep and make it work. I just can't be complacent.

 

Who ever she is. I feel we will be a good match.

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I couldn't not be single at this point. So many fewer annoyances, no one pulling on your time, etc.

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CrazyKatLady

I have a big heart, but I never dreamed of marriage as a young girl, or thought about kids until I had one at 25. My son I enjoy immensely and was glad I was wrong about children before he came into my life. Loving him gives me so much joy in this life. I am glad to be able to share so much love with him. I was engaged 8 yrs ago, but he passed away before the wedding...he was a great man. I have moved on, and the two guys I "dated" since did not want much out of me except money, a place to stay, or a playtoy. I am sure there is a higher class of human out there, but I enjoy my time alone. I am busy anyways.

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I'm used to being single, maybe too uses to it. My last long term relationship started over 10 years ago and lasted abt 2 years. Since then I've had a few relationships that lasted under a year.

 

Much of my stress came from dating. I look back on all the things I went through and ask myself,"For what?"

 

I enjoy my hobbies. I enjoy my chat buddies who actually talk to me and get to know me.

 

Maybe dating isn't for everyone. I tried but couldn't make myself want to date.

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